This coming week is National Mental Health Care week. You can do your part by remembering to contact at least one unstable...

Banc din categoria: Bancuri in Engleza (English)

propus de: Titi pe data: 18 Ian 2007

This coming week is National Mental Health Care week.

You can do your part by remembering to contact at least one unstable person to show you care.

Well, my job is done!

A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with four young mothers and their small children... - You all have obsessions, he observed. To the first mother, Mary, he said: - You [...]
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One night while I was cat-sitting my daughter's indoor feline, it escaped outside. When it failed to return the following morning, I found the beast clinging to a branch about 30 feet up in a spindly [...]
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Friends of women:

A wife was not at home for a whole night. So she tells her husband, the very next morning, that she stayed at her girlfriend's apartment over night. So the husband calls 10 of her best girlfriends and none of them confirm that.

Friends of men:

A husband was not at home for a whole night. So he tells his wife the very next morning, that he stayed at his friend's ... citeste tot

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 28 Septembrie 2004


I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdgnieg The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid Aodccrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dnsoe't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the ... citeste tot

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 10 Noiembrie 2004


Dear God: My prayer for Next Year is for a fat bank account & a thin body.
Please don't mix these up like you did last year.
Thank you so much! Happy New Year! ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 17 Ianuarie 2011


Sweetheart:

I can't send my salary this month, so I am sending 100 kisses. You are my sweetheart.

Your husband,
Allen

...
His wife replied back after some days to her husband:

Dearest sweetheart,
Thanks for your 100 kisses, I am sending the expenses details:
1. The Milk man agreed on 2 kisses for one month's milk.
2. The electricity man only agreed after 7 kisses.
3. ... citeste tot

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 13 Septembrie 2005


- Are you sure this is british beef?
- Of horse it is! ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 18 Aprilie 2013


A young husband comes home one night, and his wife throws her arms around his neck: "Darling, I have great news: I'm a month overdue. I think we're going to have a baby! The doctor gave me a test today, but until we find out for sure, we can't tell anybody."

The next day, a guy from the electric company rings the door-bell, because the young couple hasn't paid their last bill: ... citeste tot

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 31 August 2004


What is the difference between Mechanical Engineers and Civil Engineers?
Mechanical Engineers build weapons and Civil Engineers build targets. ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 31 Martie 2005


Our pastor, an avid golfer, was once
taking part in a local tournament. As he
was preparing to tee off, the organizer
of the tournament approached him and
pointed to the dark, threatening storm ...Our pastor, an avid golfer, was once taking part in a local tournament. As he was preparing to tee off, the organizer of the tournament approached him and pointed to the dark, threatening storm clouds that were gathering.
"Preacher," the organizer said, "I trust you'll see to it that the weather won't turn bad on us."
Our pastor shook his head. "Sorry," he replied. "I'm sales, not management!" ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 29 Octombrie 2008


Hung Chow calls work and says:
- Hey, boss I no come work today, I really sick. I got headache, stomach ache and my legs hurt, I no come work.
The boss says:
- You know Hung Chow, I really need you today. When I feel like that I go to my wife and tell her to sing for me. That makes everything better and I go work. You try that.
Two hours later Hung Chow calls again:
- Boss, I do what you say ... citeste tot

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 16 Martie 2005


A school teacher sends this note to all parents on the first day of school: "If you promise not to believe everything your child says happens at school, I'll promise not to believe everything he says happens at home." ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Duminica, 27 Ianuarie 2008


What did Adam say on the day before Christmas?
Answer: It's Christmas, Eve! ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 14 Noiembrie 2011


21st CENTURY LIFELESSNESS...

Our communication - Wireless
Our telephone - Cordless
Our cooking - Fireless
Our youth - Jobless
Our religion - Creedless
Our food - Fatless
Our faith - Godless
Our labor - Effortless
Our conduct - Worthless
Our relation - Loveless
Our attitude - Careless
Our feelings - Heartless
Our politics - Shameless
Our education - Valueless
Our Follies - ... citeste tot

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 20 Iulie 2005


A couple is lying in bed. The man says: "I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world."
The woman says: "I'll miss you." ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 9 Iunie 2005


A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with four young mothers and their small children...
- You all have obsessions, he observed.
To the first mother, Mary, he said:
- You are obsessed with eating. You've even named your daughter Candy.
He turned to the second Mom, Ann:
- Your obsession is money. Again, it manifests itself in your child's name, Penny.
He turns to the third ... citeste tot

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 17 Ianuarie 2007


At a cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?"
"Yes, I am. I married the wrong man." ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 6 Octombrie 2006