One day Jake, a nine-year-old, asked to pack his own lunch for school. His mom agreed. But they couldn't agree on what he should...
Banc din categoria: Bancuri in Engleza (English)
propus: 12 Ian 2007
One day Jake, a nine-year-old, asked to pack his own lunch for school. His mom agreed. But they couldn't agree on what he should pack, so they both made lists.
banc precedent A Polish man moved to the USA and married an American girl. Although his English was far from perfect, they got along very well until one day he rushed into a lawyer's office and asked him if he [...]
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European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.
As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".
In the first year, "s" will ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 5 Aprilie 2006
The Liverpool manager flies to Baghdad to watch a young iraqi play football and is suitably impressed and arranges him to come over to Anfield.
Two weeks later Liverpool are 4-0 down to Man Utd with only 20 minutes left. The manager gives the young Iraqi striker the nod and on he goes.
The lad is a sensation, scores 5 in 20 minutes and wins the game for Liverpool.
The fans are delighted, ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 13 Februarie 2006
Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is your emergency?
Caller: I heard what sounded like gunshots coming from the brown house on the corner.
Dispatcher: Do you have an address?
Caller: No, I have on a blouse and slacks, why? ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 12 Aprilie 2007
Year 1981 =========
1. Prince Charles got married
2. Liverpool crowned Champions of Europe
3. Pope Died.
Year 2005 =========
1. Prince Charles got married (again)
2. Liverpool crowned Champions of Europe (again)
3. Pope Died.
*** In Future,
if Charles wants to re-marry
or Liverpool needs another crown. .... POOR POPE....!! ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 23 August 2005
With a couple celebrating their 50th anniversary at the church's marriage marathon, the minister asked Brother Ralph to take a few minutes and share some insight into how he managed to live with the same woman all these years.
The husband replied to the audience, "Well, I treated her with respect, spent money on her, but mostly I took her traveling on special occasions."
The minister ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 5 Februarie 2007
An architect, an artist and an engineer were discussing whether it was better to spend time with the wife or a mistress.
The architect said he enjoyed time with his wife, building a solid foundation for an enduring relationship.
The artist said he enjoyed time with his mistress, because the passion and mystery he found there.
The engineer said: "I like both. If you have a wife and a mistress, ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 31 Martie 2005
A young husband comes home one night, and his wife throws her arms around his neck: "Darling, I have great news: I'm a month overdue. I think we're going to have a baby! The doctor gave me a test today, but until we find out for sure, we can't tell anybody."
The next day, a guy from the electric company rings the door-bell, because the young couple hasn't paid their last bill: ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 31 August 2004
An elderly couple, Margaret and Bert, moved to Texas.
Bert always wanted a pair of authentic cowboy boots, so, seeing some on sale, he bought them and wore them home.
Walking proudly, he sauntered into the kitchen and said to his wife, "Notice anything different about me?"
Margaret looked him over.. "Nope."
Frustrated, Bert stormed off into the bathroom, undressed and walked back into the ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 27 Ianuarie 2009
A father was trying to teach his young son the evils of alcohol.
He put one worm in a glass of water and another worm in a glass of
whiskey. The worm in the water lived, while the one in the whiskey
curled up and died.
"All right, son," asked the father, "what does that show you?"
"Well, Dad, it shows that if you drink alcohol, you will not have
worms." ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 18 August 2008
Q: What's the difference between biology and sociology?
A: When the baby looks like his dad or mom, then it is biology. When the baby looks like the neighbour, then it is sociology. ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 5 Februarie 2007
There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer's research. This means that by 2040, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them. ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 23 Februarie 2007
Hearing so many people speaking about his intelligence level, George "double you" Bush decided to get his brain checked.
The physician diagnosis was as follows:
- Mr. President, you have two brains, the left and the right, like all normal people. But the problem is that in your left brain there is nothing right and in your right brain there is nothing left. ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 10 Mai 2005
There are 2 people always next to you:
The Manager, smiling pleasantly to hide evil intentions!
The Team Leader, busy figuring out what work to dump on you next...
And, there's YOU, who struggles with it all! ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Duminica, 22 Iunie 2008
About five years ago, the battery in my beat-up VW Beetle had died because I left the lights on overnight. I was in a hurry to get to work on time, so I ran into the house to get my wife to give me a hand in starting the car.
I told her to get into our second car, a prehistoric oversized gas guzzler, and use it to push my car fast enough to start it. I pointed out to her that because the VW ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 18 Ianuarie 2008
A mother and a daughter are shopping in the mall, when the mother eyes an expensive fur coat.
"This year," she says, "I think that I will buy my present instead of making you and Dad shop for me." The daughter nods in agreement. "And I think this fur coat would be perfect too."
The daughter protests, "But Mom, some helpless, poor creature has to suffer so that you can have this."
"Don't worry, ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 7 Februarie 2008