The slave driver of the Roman ship stared down at his slaves and yelled, I've got good news and bad news. The good news is that...
propus: 30 Nov 2006
A truck driver had to deliver five
hundred penguins to the state zoo. As he
was driving his truck through the
desert, the truck broke down.
After waiting by the side of the
road for about three hours, he waved
another truck down and offered the
driver $500 to take the penguins to the
state zoo for him.
The next
day, the first truck driver arrived in
town and saw the second truck driver
... citeste tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 3 Decembrie 2007
Two guys walk into a bar, separately,
and have a seat at the bar.
One
guy notices the other has a black eye,
just like him.
“Hey buddy,
how’d you get your shiner?”
“Well, I was at the train station,
and the ticket girl was veeery hot. And
instead of two tickets to Pittsburg, I
slipped and said ‘two PICKets to
TITTsburg’ and she hit me square in
the
... citeste tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Duminica, 24 August 2008
After buying her kids a pet hamster,
after they PROMISED they would take care
of it, Mom, as usual, ended up with the
responsibility.
One evening,
exasperated, she asked them, "How many
times do you think that hamster would
have died if I hadn't looked after it?"
After a moment, her youngest son
replied quizzically, "Once?"
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 22 August 2007
Lady: Is this my train?
Station
Master: No, it belongs to the Railway
Company.
Lady: Don't try to be
funny. I mean to ask if I can take this
train to New Delhi.
Station Master:
No Madam, I'm afraid it's too heavy.
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 27 Februarie 2007
There is this good old barber in one
city in the US.
- One day a florist
goes to him for a haircut. After the
cut, he goes to pay the barber and the
barber replies: "I am sorry. I cannot
accept money from you. I am doing
community service." The Florist is happy
and leaves the shop. The next morning
when the barber goes to open his shop,
there is a thank you card and a dozen
roses waiting at his
... citeste tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 9 Februarie 2006
A man is waiting in line for a hit
movie. Behind him are two women. The
usher comes along and says that he has
two seats together. Seeing the problem,
the usher says to the man, "Let them go
first. You wouldn't want to separate a
woman from her mother, would you?"
The man says, "No, sir. I did that
once, and I've been sorry ever since."
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 1 Aprilie 2008
Three engineering students were gathered
together discussing the possible
designers of the human body.
One
said, "It was a mechanical engineer."
Just look at all the joints."
Another said, "No, it was an
electrical engineer. The nervous system
has many thousands of electrical
connections."
The last one said,
"Actually it must have been a civil
engineer. Who else would run a toxic
waste
... citeste tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 31 Martie 2005
A new young bride calls her mother in
tears.
She sobs:
- Robert
doesn't appreciate what I do for
him.
- Now, now,. ..her mother
comforted, I am sure it was all just a
misunderstanding.
- No, mother, you
don't understand. I bought a frozen
turkey roll and he yelled and screamed
at me about the price!
- Well, the
nerve of that lousy cheapskate! says her
mom. Those turkey rolls are only
... citeste tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 12 Aprilie 2005

A newlywed farmer and his wife were
visited by her mother, who immediately
demanded an inspection of the place.
While they were walking through the
barn, the farmer's mule suddenly reared
up and kicked the mother-in-law in the
head, killing her instantly.
At
the funeral service a few days later,
the farmer stood near the casket and
greeted folks as they walked by. The
pastor noticed that
... citeste tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 19 Decembrie 2008
A woman in our diet club was lamenting
that she had gained weight. She'd made
her family's favorite cake over the
weekend, she reported, and they'd eaten
half of it at dinner.
The next
day, she said, she kept staring at the
other half, until finally she cut a thin
slice for herself. One slice led to
another, and soon the whole cake was
gone.
The woman went on to tell
us how upset she was
... citeste tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 2 Octombrie 2006
A US Navy Admiral was attending a naval
conference that included 20 Admirals
from the US, English, Canadian,
Australian and French Navies.
At a
reception, he found himself standing
with a huge group of officers that
included personnel from most of the
countries.
Everyone was chatting
away in English as they sipped their
drinks, but a French admiral suddenly
complained that, whereas Europeans
... citeste tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 4 Iulie 2007