All eyes were on the radiant bride as her father escorted her down the aisle. They reached the altar and the waiting groom; the...
propus: 28 Nov 2006
Lady: Is this my train?
Master: No, it belongs to the Railway
Lady: Don't try to be
funny. I mean to ask if I can take this
train to New Delhi.
No Madam, I'm afraid it's too heavy. ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 27 Februarie 2007
See if you can do this. Read each line
This is this cat
This is is cat
This is how cat
This is to cat
This is keep cat
This is a cat
This is dumbass
This is busy cat
This is for
This is forty cat
Now go back and
read the THIRD word
in each line
from the top.
Betcha you can't
resist passing it on. LOL! ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 21 Noiembrie 2011
A psychiatrist was conducting a group
therapy session with four young mothers
and their small children...
all have obsessions, he observed.
the first mother, Mary, he said:
You are obsessed with eating. You've
even named your daughter Candy.
turned to the second Mom, Ann:
Your obsession is money. Again, it
manifests itself in your child's name,
He turns to the third ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 17 Ianuarie 2007
A pickpocket was appearing in court for
a series of petty crimes. "Mr.
Brewster," the judge said, "you are
hereby found guilty and fined the sum of
After consulting with his
client, Mr. Brewster's lawyer stood up
and said, "Your Honor, my client is a
little short at this time. He has only
$125 in his pocket, but if you would
allow him a few minutes in the crowd..." ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 5 Martie 2007
Heaven is where the police are British,
the chefs Italian, the mechanics German,
the lovers French and it is all
organized by the Swiss.
where police are German, the chefs
British, the mechanics French, the
lovers Swiss and it is all organized by
the Italians. ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 29 Noiembrie 2005
As the holidays approach, my heartfelt
appreciation goes out to all of you who
have taken the time and trouble to send
me forwards over the past 12 months.
Thank you for making me feel safe,
secure, blessed, and wealthy.
Extra thanks to whoever sent me the
one about rat crap in the glue on
envelopes 'cause I now have to go get a
wet towel every time I need to seal an
Also, I scrub ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 19 Decembrie 2005
The orthopedic surgeon I work for was
moving to a new office, and his staff
was helping transport many of the items.
I sat the display skeleton in
the front of my car, his bony arm across
the back of my seat. I hadn't considered
the drive across town. At one traffic
light, the stares of the people in the
car beside me became obvious, and I
looked across and explained, "I'm
delivering him to my ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 31 Octombrie 2006
News from Apple
announced today that is has developed a
computer chip that can store and play
music in women's breast implants.
The iBoob will cost between $499 and
This is considered to be
a major breakthrough, because women are
always complaining about men staring at
their breasts and not listening to them.
Thank to Apple, everyone is now
happy. ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 28 Noiembrie 2007
Worst Things To Say On A First Date:
- I used to have a real bad
bedwetting problem... but the last
couple of weeks I've gotten it under
- I know we just met and
this might seem a little sudden. .. but
could I borrow five hundred dollars?
- Go ahead and Super Size - I found
spare change in the sofa today.
Something tells me that you're very
special... but with medication I can ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 14 Februarie 2007
A Chinese couple got married. When a
baby girl was born, her eyes were big
and blue, hair was curly and blonde,
skin was brown. Finally, the father
named the baby SUM TING RONG." ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 11 Septembrie 2006
A young husband comes home one night,
and his wife throws her arms around his
neck: "Darling, I have great news:
I'm a month overdue. I think
we're going to have a baby! The
doctor gave me a test today, but until
we find out for sure, we can't tell
The next day, a guy
from the electric company rings the
door-bell, because the young couple
hasn't paid their last bill: ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 31 August 2004
Satan greets Bill Gates:
Mr. Gates, we've been waiting for
you. This will be your home for all
eternity. You've been selfish,
greedy and a big liar all your life.
Now, since you've got me in a good
mood, I'll be generous and give you
a choice of three places in which
you'll be locked up forever.
Satan takes Bill to a huge lake of
fire in which millions of poor ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 31 Martie 2005
Hung Chow calls work and says:
Hey, boss I no come work today, I really
sick. I got headache, stomach ache and
my legs hurt, I no come work.
- You know Hung Chow, I
really need you today. When I feel like
that I go to my wife and tell her to
sing for me. That makes everything
better and I go work. You try that.
Two hours later Hung Chow calls
- Boss, I do what you say ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 16 Martie 2005
Hearing so many people speaking about
his intelligence level, George "double
you" Bush decided to get his brain
The physician diagnosis was
- Mr. President, you
have two brains, the left and the right,
like all normal people. But the problem
is that in your left brain there is
nothing right and in your right brain
there is nothing left. ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 10 Mai 2005