This is an actual job application that a 75 year old senior citizen submitted to Walmart in Arkansas. They hired him because he...
propus: 21 Nov 2006
This is an actual job application that a
75 year old senior citizen submitted to
Walmart in Arkansas. They hired him
because he was so funny.
- - - - - -
- - - - -
NAME: Kenneth Way (Grumpy
Bastard)
SEX: Not lately, but I am
looking for the right woman (or at least
one who will cooperate)
DESIRED
POSITION: Company's President or Vice
President. But seriously, whatever's
available. If I was in a position to be
picky, I wouldn't be applying here in
the first place?
DESIRED SALARY:
$185,000 a year plus stock options and a
Michael Ovitz style severancepackage. If
that's not possible, make an offer and
we can haggle.
EDUCATION: Yes.
LAST POSITION HELD: Target for
middle management hostility.
PREVIOUS SALARY: A lot less than I'm
worth.
MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My
incredible collection of stolen pens and
post-it notes.
REASON FOR LEAVING:
It sucked.
HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK:
Any.
PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m.
Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.
DO
YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but
they're better suited to a more intimate
environment.
MAY WE CONTACT YOUR
CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I
be here?
DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL
CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM
LIFTING UP TO 50 lbs.?: Of what?
DO
YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more
appropriate question here would be "Do
you have a car that runs?"
HAVE YOU
RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR
RECOGNITION?: I may already be a winner
of the Publishers Clearing House
Sweepstakes, so they tell me.
DO YOU
SMOKE?: On the job - no! On my breaks -
yes!
WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING
IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas
with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy
blonde supermodel who thinks I'm the
greatest thing since sliced bread.
Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.
NEAREST RELATIVE: 7 miles
DO YOU
CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND
COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?:
Oh yes, absolutely
***Old People
Rock!***
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banc precedent My wife's family and I were at a Harding University football game. Every time someone carried the ball or made a tackle, the announcer would broadcast who had made the play. Near the beginning of [...]
banc următor
THE WORLD'S SHORTEST FAIRY TALE:
Once upon a time a guy asked a girl:
"Will you marry me?" The girl said "NO!"
And the guy lived happily ever after and
went fishing, hunting and played golf a
lot and drank beer whenever he wanted.
THE END
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Jennifer paused, and
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My wife's family and I were at a Harding
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Near the
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Our pastor, an avid golfer, was once
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"Preacher," the organizer said, "I
trust you'll see to it that the weather
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Our pastor
shook his head. "Sorry," he replied.
"I'm sales, not management!"
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On some air bases, the Air Force is on
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middle. One day the tower received a
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The aircraft replied,
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The
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One night while I was cat-sitting my
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I am rejecting your rejection
Dear Sir / Madam
Thank you for
your letter of 4 September 2003. After
careful consideration I regret to inform
you that I am unable to accept your
refusal to offer me employment with your
company. This year I have been
particularly fortunate in receiving an
unusually large number of rejection
letters. With such a varied and
promising field of candidates it is
... citește tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marți, 8 Martie 2005