Little Logan and his family were having Thanksgiving dinner at his grandmother's house. Everyone was seated round the table as...
propus: 21 Nov 2006
Little Logan and his family were having
Thanksgiving dinner at his grandmother's
house. Everyone was seated round the
table as the food was being served. When
little Logan received his plate, he
started eating right away. A cowboy went to an insurance agency to buy a policy. The agent asked, Have you ever had an accident? Nope, replied the cowboy. Last summer, a bronc kicked in two of my ribs, and a couple of [...]
wait until we say our prayer, his mother
- I don't need to, the
little boy replied.
- Of course you
do! his mother insisted, We say a prayer
before eating at our house.
at our house, Logan explained, but this
is Grandma's house, and she knows how to
banc precedent This is an actual job application that a 75 year old senior citizen submitted to Walmart in Arkansas. They hired him because he was so funny. - - - - - - - - - - - NAME: Kenneth Way [...]
When you have an "I hate My Job" day,
On your way home from
work, stop at your pharmacy and go to
the thermometer section and purchase a
rectal thermometer made by Johnson &
Johnson. Be very sure you get this
brand. When you get home, lock your
doors, draw the curtains and disconnect
the phone so you will not be disturbed.
Change into very comfortable clothing
and sit in your ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 12 Septembrie 2006
TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical
formula for water?
DONALD: H I J K L
M N O.
TEACHER: What are you talking
DONALD: Yesterday you said
it's H to O. ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 26 Noiembrie 2008
CIGARETTES AND TAMPONS
A man walks
into a pharmacy and wanders up & down
The sales girl notices
him and asks him if she can help him. He
answers that he is looking for a box of
tampons for his wife. She directs him
down the correct aisle.
minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of
cotton balls and a ball of string on the
She says, confused, 'Sir, I
thought you were ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Duminica, 30 Mai 2010
A man is dying of Cancer. His son asked
him, "Dad, why do you keep telling
people you're dying of AIDS?"
Answer: "So when I'm dead no one
will dare touch your mom!" ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 5 Octombrie 2006
George Bush is visiting the Queen of
England. He asks her, "Your Majesty, how
do you run such an efficient government?
Are there any tips you can give me?"
"Well," says the Queen, "the
most important thing is to surround
yourself with intelligent people.
"Bush frowns. "But how do I know the
people around me are really
The Queen takes a
sip of tea. "Oh, that's easy. You just ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 14 Iulie 2006
On a flight to Chicago, a gentleman had
made several attempts to get into the
men's restroom, but it had always
been occupied. The flight attendant
noticed his predicament. "Sir, she said,
"You may use the ladies room if you
promise not to touch any of the buttons
on the wall."
He did what he
needed to, and as he sat there he
noticed the Buttons he had promised not
to touch. Each button ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 15 Septembrie 2004
I was having trouble with my computer.
So I called Harold, the computer guy, to
come over. Harold clicked a couple of
buttons and solved the problem. He gave
me a bill for a minimum service call.
As he was walking away, I called
after him, "So, what was wrong?"
replied, "It was an 'ID ten T' error."
I didn't want to appear stupid, but
I nonetheless inquired, "An ID ten T
Error? What's that, ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 4 Iunie 2007
A Spanish teacher was explaining to her
class that in Spanish, unlike English,
nouns are designated as either masculine
"House" for instance,
is feminine: "la casa."
however, is masculine: "el lapiz."
student asked, "What gender is
Instead of giving the
answer, the teacher split the class into
two groups, male and female, and asked
them to decide for ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 5 Iunie 2007
Man: Can I
ask you something?
Man: What is for you a million of
God: A second.
a million of dollars?
God: A penny.
Man: God, Can you give me a penny?
God: Wait a second! ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 27 Octombrie 2005
Positive Thinking Poem...
Little birdy in the sky,
look up and it shits in your eye
You don't mind and you don't cry,
You just thank God that cows don't
fly... ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 10 Martie 2006
Two guys walk into a bar, separately,
and have a seat at the bar.
guy notices the other has a black eye,
just like him.
how’d you get your shiner?”
“Well, I was at the train station,
and the ticket girl was veeery hot. And
instead of two tickets to Pittsburg, I
slipped and said ‘two PICKets to
TITTsburg’ and she hit me square in
the ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Duminica, 24 August 2008
In an airplane the captain tells the
- This is your captain
speaking. We are losing altitude and we
do not have enough fuel to reach land.
Therefore, we have to let all the
baggage leave the airplane.
airplane gains altitude again. Half an
hour later the airplane begins losing
altitude again and the captain is on the
loudspeakers once more:
- This is
your captain speaking. We ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 31 Iulie 2006