Little Logan and his family were having Thanksgiving dinner at his grandmother's house. Everyone was seated round the table as...
Banc din categoria: Bancuri in Engleza (English)
propus: 21 Nov 2006
Little Logan and his family were having Thanksgiving dinner at his grandmother's house. Everyone was seated round the table as the food was being served. When little Logan received his plate, he started eating right away.
banc precedent This is an actual job application that a 75 year old senior citizen submitted to Walmart in Arkansas. They hired him because he was so funny. - - - - - - - - - - - NAME: Kenneth Way [...]
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- Comenteaza
- 8.4 din 8 note
When you have an "I hate My Job" day, try this:
On your way home from work, stop at your pharmacy and go to the thermometer section and purchase a rectal thermometer made by Johnson & Johnson. Be very sure you get this brand. When you get home, lock your doors, draw the curtains and disconnect the phone so you will not be disturbed. Change into very comfortable clothing and sit in your ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 12 Septembrie 2006
TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD: H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O. ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 26 Noiembrie 2008
CIGARETTES AND TAMPONS
A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up & down the aisles..
The sales girl notices him and asks him if she can help him. He answers that he is looking for a box of tampons for his wife. She directs him down the correct aisle.
A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton balls and a ball of string on the counter.
She says, confused, 'Sir, I thought you were ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Duminica, 30 Mai 2010
A man is dying of Cancer. His son asked him, "Dad, why do you keep telling people you're dying of AIDS?"
Answer: "So when I'm dead no one will dare touch your mom!" ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 5 Octombrie 2006
George Bush is visiting the Queen of England. He asks her, "Your Majesty, how do you run such an efficient government? Are there any tips you can give me?"
"Well," says the Queen, "the most important thing is to surround yourself with intelligent people.
"Bush frowns. "But how do I know the people around me are really intelligent?"
The Queen takes a sip of tea. "Oh, that's easy. You just ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 14 Iulie 2006
On a flight to Chicago, a gentleman had made several attempts to get into the men's restroom, but it had always been occupied. The flight attendant noticed his predicament. "Sir, she said, "You may use the ladies room if you promise not to touch any of the buttons on the wall."
He did what he needed to, and as he sat there he noticed the Buttons he had promised not to touch. Each button ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 15 Septembrie 2004
Despite the old saying, "Don't take your troubles to bed", many men still sleep with their wives! ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 18 Octombrie 2004
I was having trouble with my computer. So I called Harold, the computer guy, to come over. Harold clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem. He gave me a bill for a minimum service call.
As he was walking away, I called after him, "So, what was wrong?"
He replied, "It was an 'ID ten T' error."
I didn't want to appear stupid, but I nonetheless inquired, "An ID ten T Error? What's that, ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 4 Iunie 2007
A Spanish teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine.
"House" for instance, is feminine: "la casa."
"Pencil," however, is masculine: "el lapiz."
A student asked, "What gender is 'computer'?"
Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two groups, male and female, and asked them to decide for ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 5 Iunie 2007
Man: God?
God: Yes!?
Man: Can I ask you something?
God: Yes.
Man: What is for you a million of years?
God: A second.
Man: And a million of dollars?
God: A penny.
Man: God, Can you give me a penny?
God: Wait a second! ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 27 Octombrie 2005
Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
A: Breasts don't have eyes....... ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 18 Octombrie 2004
Positive Thinking Poem...
Little birdy in the sky,
You look up and it shits in your eye
You don't mind and you don't cry,
You just thank God that cows don't fly... ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 10 Martie 2006
Two guys walk into a bar, separately, and have a seat at the bar.
One guy notices the other has a black eye, just like him.
“Hey buddy, how’d you get your shiner?”
“Well, I was at the train station, and the ticket girl was veeery hot. And instead of two tickets to Pittsburg, I slipped and said ‘two PICKets to TITTsburg’ and she hit me square in the ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Duminica, 24 August 2008
In an airplane the captain tells the passengers:
- This is your captain speaking. We are losing altitude and we do not have enough fuel to reach land. Therefore, we have to let all the baggage leave the airplane.
The airplane gains altitude again. Half an hour later the airplane begins losing altitude again and the captain is on the loudspeakers once more:
- This is your captain speaking. We ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 31 Iulie 2006