The orthopedic surgeon I work for was moving to a new office, and his staff was helping transport many of the items. I sat the...
propus: 31 Oct 2006
The orthopedic surgeon I work for was
moving to a new office, and his staff
was helping transport many of the items.
I sat the display skeleton in
the front of my car, his bony arm across
the back of my seat. I hadn't considered
the drive across town. At one traffic
light, the stares of the people in the
car beside me became obvious, and I
looked across and explained, "I'm
delivering him to my doctor's office."
The other driver leaned out of
his window. "I hate to tell you, lady,"
he said, "but I think it's too late!"
Queen Elizabeth II, George W Bush & Traian Basescu died & went straight to hell. Queen Elizabeth II said I miss Britain, I want to call Britain and see how everybody is doing there. She [...]
banc precedent A real estate agent had just closed his first deal, only to discover that the piece of land he had sold was completely under water. That customer's going to come back here pretty mad, [...]
banc urmator
CIGARETTES AND TAMPONS
A man walks
into a pharmacy and wanders up & down
the aisles..
The sales girl notices
him and asks him if she can help him. He
answers that he is looking for a box of
tampons for his wife. She directs him
down the correct aisle.
A few
minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of
cotton balls and a ball of string on the
counter.
She says, confused, 'Sir, I
thought you were
... citeste tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Duminica, 30 Mai 2010
A man follows a woman out of a movie
theatre. She has a dog on a leash. He
stops her and says, "I'm sorry to
bother you, but I couldn't help but
notice that your dog was really into the
movie. He cried at the right spots, he
moved nervously in his seat at the
boring parts, but most of all, he
laughed like crazy at the funny parts.
Did you find that unusual?"
"Yes,"
she replied, "I found
... citeste tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 18 Octombrie 2004
A mother and a daughter are shopping in
the mall, when the mother eyes an
expensive fur coat.
"This year," she
says, "I think that I will buy my
present instead of making you and Dad
shop for me." The daughter nods in
agreement. "And I think this fur coat
would be perfect too."
The daughter
protests, "But Mom, some helpless, poor
creature has to suffer so that you can
have this."
"Don't worry,
... citeste tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 7 Februarie 2008
Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is your
emergency?
Caller: I heard what
sounded like gunshots coming from the
brown house on the corner.
Dispatcher: Do you have an address?
Caller: No, I have on a blouse and
slacks, why?
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 12 Aprilie 2007
A US Navy Admiral was attending a naval
conference that included 20 Admirals
from the US, English, Canadian,
Australian and French Navies.
At a
reception, he found himself standing
with a huge group of officers that
included personnel from most of the
countries.
Everyone was chatting
away in English as they sipped their
drinks, but a French admiral suddenly
complained that, whereas Europeans
... citeste tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 4 Iulie 2007
A middle-aged couple had two beautiful
daughters but always talked about having
a son. They decided to try one last time
for the son they always wanted.
The
wife got pregnant and delivered a
healthy baby boy. The joyful father
rushed to the nursery to see his new
son. He was horrified at the ugliest
child he had ever seen.
He told his
wife:
'There's no way I can be the
father of this baby.
... citeste tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 3 Iunie 2008
Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is the nature of
your emergency?
Caller: I'm trying
to reach nine eleven but my phone
doesn't have an eleven on it.
Dispatcher: This is nine eleven.
Caller: I though you just said it
was nine-one-one.
Dispatcher: Yes,
ma'am nine-one-one and nine-eleven are
the same thing.
Caller: Honey, I may
be old, but I'm not stupid.
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 12 Aprilie 2007
Q: Tarzan and the animals went to the
river to take a bath. Tarzan removed his
clothes. All the animals laughed. Tarzan
asked "Why"?
A: The animals told
him. Your tail is in front".
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 5 Februarie 2007
Gravitation is not responsible for
people falling in love.
I never
think of the future. It comes soon
enough.
The only thing that
interferes with my learning is my
education.
Education is what remains
after one has forgotten everything he
learned in school.
Two things are
infinite: the universe and human
stupidity; and I'm not sure about
the universe.
Wire telegraph is a
kind of a very,
... citeste tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 12 Aprilie 2005
A man is taking a walk in Central park
in New York. Suddenly he sees the little
girl being attacked by a pitbull. He
runs over and starts fighting with the
dog. He succeds in killing the dog and
saving the girls live.
A policeman
who was watching the scene walks over
and says:
- You are a hero, tomorrow
you can read it in all the newspapers:
"Brave New Yorker saves a little girl's
life"
- But
... citeste tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 3 Mai 2006
A father was trying to teach his young
son the evils of alcohol.
He
put one worm in a glass of water and
another worm in a glass of
whiskey.
The worm in the water lived, while the
one in the whiskey
curled up and
died.
"All right, son," asked
the father, "what does that show you?"
"Well, Dad, it shows that if
you drink alcohol, you will not have
worms."
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 18 August 2008
An old mafia Don is dying and he calls
his grandson to the bed.
- You
lissin-a me. I wanna for you to taka my
chrome plated 38 revolver so you will
always remember me.
- But grandpa,
I really don't like guns. Howzabout you
leava me your rolex watch instead?
-
Shuddup and lissin. Somma day you gonna
runna da business, you gonna have a
beautifulla wife, lotsa money, a biga
home and maybe a
... citeste tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 17 Octombrie 2005
"I just don't understand it", an Irish
footballer complained... "One match I
play very well, and then the next match
I'm terrible".
"Well", said his
wife, "why don't you just play every
other match?"
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 30 Aprilie 2008