The orthopedic surgeon I work for was moving to a new office, and his staff was helping transport many of the items. I sat the...
propus: 31 Oct 2006
The orthopedic surgeon I work for was
moving to a new office, and his staff
was helping transport many of the items.
Queen Elizabeth II, George W Bush & Traian Basescu died & went straight to hell. Queen Elizabeth II said I miss Britain, I want to call Britain and see how everybody is doing there. She [...]
I sat the display skeleton in
the front of my car, his bony arm across
the back of my seat. I hadn't considered
the drive across town. At one traffic
light, the stares of the people in the
car beside me became obvious, and I
looked across and explained, "I'm
delivering him to my doctor's office."
The other driver leaned out of
his window. "I hate to tell you, lady,"
he said, "but I think it's too late!"
banc precedent A real estate agent had just closed his first deal, only to discover that the piece of land he had sold was completely under water. That customer's going to come back here pretty mad, [...]
All eyes were on the radiant bride as
her father escorted her down the aisle.
They reached the altar and the waiting
groom; the bride kissed her father and
placed something in his hand. The guests
in the front pews, and the minister,
responded with ripples of laughter. As
her father gave her away in marriage,
the bride had given him back his credit
card. ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 28 Noiembrie 2006
News from Apple
announced today that is has developed a
computer chip that can store and play
music in women's breast implants.
The iBoob will cost between $499 and
This is considered to be
a major breakthrough, because women are
always complaining about men staring at
their breasts and not listening to them.
Thank to Apple, everyone is now
happy. ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 28 Noiembrie 2007
A man visited a psychiatrist to talk
about his dreams.
"Every night," the
man said, "I dream that these three
hideous monsters are sitting on the edge
of my bed, ready to attack me."
"Hmmm," said the doctor. "I feel
sure I can cure you of this problem. But
the treatment will cost you somewhere
between twenty-five and thirty thousand
"Thirty thousand dollars!"
the man gasped. "Never ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 9 Martie 2007
First-year students at Texas A&M's Vet
School were receiving theirfirst anatomy
class, with a real dead cow. They all
gathered around the surgery table with
the body covered with a white sheet. The
professor started the class by telling
- In vet medicine it is
necessary to have two important
qualities as a doctor: the first is that
you not be disgusted by anything
involving the animal ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 2 Mai 2007
1. The Japanese eat very little fat and
suffer fewer heart attacks than
2. The Mexicans eat a lot
of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks
3. The Chinese drink
very little red wine and suffer fewer
heart attacks than Americans.
Italians drink excessive amounts of red
wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than
5. The Germans drink a
lot of beers and eat ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 11 Noiembrie 2004
Queen Elizabeth II, George W Bush &
Traian Basescu died & went straight to
Queen Elizabeth II said
"I miss Britain, I want to call Britain
and see how everybody is doing there.
She called and talked for about 5
minutes, then her Majesty asked "Well,
Devil how much do I owe you? The devil
replied "Five million dollars" She wrote
him a cheque and went to sit back on her
George ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 27 Octombrie 2006
An elderly gentleman had serious hearing
problems for a number of years. He went
to the doctor and the doctor was able to
have him fitted for a set of hearing
aids that allowed the gentleman to hear
The elderly gentleman
went back in a month to the doctor and
the doctor said:
- Your hearing is
perfect. Your family must be really
pleased that you can hear again.
To which the gentleman ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 19 Noiembrie 2013
See if you can do this. Read each line
This is this cat
This is is cat
This is how cat
This is to cat
This is keep cat
This is a cat
This is dumbass
This is busy cat
This is for
This is forty cat
Now go back and
read the THIRD word
in each line
from the top.
Betcha you can't
resist passing it on. LOL! ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 21 Noiembrie 2011
All the scientists die and go to heaven.
They decide to play hide-n-seek.
Unfortunately Einstein is the one who
has the den. He is supposed to count up
to 100 and then start searching.
Everyone starts hiding except Newton.
Newton just draws a square of 1 meter
and stands in it right in front of
Einstein. Einstein's counting:
He opens his
eyes and finds Newton standing in ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 5 Septembrie 2005
A soldier stationed in Iraq recently
received a "Dear John" letter from his
girlfriend back home. It read as
no longer continue our relationship. The
distance between us is just too great. I
must admit that I have cheated on you
twice, since you've been gone, and
it's not fair to either of us.
Please return the
picture of me that I sent to ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 10 Iunie 2005
Three engineering students were gathered
together discussing the possible
designers of the human body.
said, "It was a mechanical engineer."
Just look at all the joints."
Another said, "No, it was an
electrical engineer. The nervous system
has many thousands of electrical
The last one said,
"Actually it must have been a civil
engineer. Who else would run a toxic
waste ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 31 Martie 2005
A man is incomplete until he is married.
Then he is finished.
is the triumph of imagination over
When a woman
steals your husband, there is no better
revenge than to let her keep him. ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 6 Octombrie 2006