Husband and wife are waiting at the bus stop with their 9 children. A blind man joins them after a few minutes. When the bus...
propus: 5 Oct 2006
Husband and wife are waiting at the bus
stop with their 9 children. A blind man
joins them after a few minutes. When the
bus arrives, they find it overloaded and
only the wife and the 9 kids are able to
fit onto the bus. A man is dying of Cancer. His son asked him, Dad, why do you keep telling people you're dying of AIDS? Answer: So when I'm dead no one will dare touch your mom!
husband and the blind man decide to
walk. After a while, the husband gets
irritated by the ticking of the stick of
the blind man as he taps it on the
sidewalk, and says to him, "Why don't
you put a piece of rubber at the end of
your stick? That ticking sound is
driving me crazy."
man replies, "If you would've put a
rubber at the end of YOUR stick, we'd be
riding the bus. So please shut up."
banc precedent Then there was a man who said: I never knew what real happiness was until I got married, and by then, it was too late.
Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is your
Caller: I heard what
sounded like gunshots coming from the
brown house on the corner.
Dispatcher: Do you have an address?
Caller: No, I have on a blouse and
slacks, why? ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 12 Aprilie 2007
The Programmer's drinking song:
99 little bugs in the code,
bugs in the code,
Fix one bug,
compile it again,
101 little bugs
in the code.
101 little bugs in the
101 bugs in the code,
Fix one bug, compile it again,
103 little bugs in the code. ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 16 Octombrie 2006
A newlywed farmer and his wife were
visited by her mother, who immediately
demanded an inspection of the place.
While they were walking through the
barn, the farmer's mule suddenly reared
up and kicked the mother-in-law in the
head, killing her instantly.
the funeral service a few days later,
the farmer stood near the casket and
greeted folks as they walked by. The
pastor noticed that ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 19 Decembrie 2008
01. While working with Mr. Ionescu, I
have always found him
studiously and sincerely at his table
03. gossiping with
colleagues in the office. He seldom
04. wastes his time on useless
things. Given a job, he always
finishes the given assignment in time.
He is always
06. deeply engrossed in
his official work, and can never be
07. found chitchatting in the
canteen. He ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 2 Iunie 2011
A Chinese couple got married. When a
baby girl was born, her eyes were big
and blue, hair was curly and blonde,
skin was brown. Finally, the father
named the baby SUM TING RONG." ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 11 Septembrie 2006
A US Navy Admiral was attending a naval
conference that included 20 Admirals
from the US, English, Canadian,
Australian and French Navies.
reception, he found himself standing
with a huge group of officers that
included personnel from most of the
Everyone was chatting
away in English as they sipped their
drinks, but a French admiral suddenly
complained that, whereas Europeans ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 4 Iulie 2007
A Sunday school teacher was telling her
class the story of the Good Samaritan,
in which a man was beaten, robbed, and
left for dead. She described the
situation in vivid detail so her
students would catch the drama. Then she
asked the class, "If you saw a person
lying on the roadside, all wounded and
bleeding, what would you do?"
thoughtful little girl broke the hushed
silence, "I think I'd ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 2 Mai 2007
Gravitation is not responsible for
people falling in love.
think of the future. It comes soon
The only thing that
interferes with my learning is my
Education is what remains
after one has forgotten everything he
learned in school.
Two things are
infinite: the universe and human
stupidity; and I'm not sure about
Wire telegraph is a
kind of a very, ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 12 Aprilie 2005
1. The Japanese eat very little fat and
suffer fewer heart attacks than
2. The Mexicans eat a lot
of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks
3. The Chinese drink
very little red wine and suffer fewer
heart attacks than Americans.
Italians drink excessive amounts of red
wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than
5. The Germans drink a
lot of beers and eat ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 11 Noiembrie 2004
An engineer was crossing a road one-day
when a frog called out to him and said:
- If you kiss me, I'll turn into
a beautiful princess.
He bent over,
picked up the frog and put it in his
The frog spoke up again and
- If you kiss me and turn me
back into a beautiful princess, I will
stay with you for one week.
engineer took the frog out of his
pocket, smiled at it and ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 31 Martie 2005
One day Jake, a nine-year-old, asked to
pack his own lunch for school. His mom
agreed. But they couldn't agree on what
he should pack, so they both made lists.
This was the mom's list:
A carton of milk
This was Jake's list:
to compromise. Sure enough, the next
morning, Jake was ready for school and
he packed his lunch. ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 12 Ianuarie 2007
1. Enter any
11-digit prime number to continue.
2. Press any key to continue or any
other key to quit.
3. Bad command or
file name! Go stand in the corner.
4. This will end your Windows
session. Do you want to play another
5. Windows message: "Error
saving file! Format drive now? (Y/Y)"
6. To "shut down" your system, type
7. BREAKFAST.SYS halted...
Cereal port ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 10 Noiembrie 2004