George B.: Condi! Nice to see you. What's happening? Condoleeza R.: Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of...
propus: 12 Sep 2006
George B.: Condi! Nice to see you.
What's happening?
Condoleeza R.:
Sir, I have the report here about the
new leader of China.
George B.:
Great. Lay it on me.
Condoleeza R.:
Hu is the new leader of China.
George B.: That's what I want to
know.
Condoleeza R.: That's what I'm
telling you.
George B.: That's what
I'm asking you. Who is the new leader of
China?
Condoleeza R.: Yes.
George B.: I mean the fellow's name.
Condoleeza R.: Hu.
George B.:
The guy in China.
Condoleeza R.: Hu.
George B.: The new leader of China.
Condoleeza R.: Hu.
George B.:
The Chinaman!
Condoleeza R.: Hu is
leading China.
George B.: Now
whaddya' asking me for?
Condoleeza
R.: I'm telling you Hu is leading China.
George B.: Well, I'm asking you. Who
is leading China?
Condoleeza R.:
That's the man's name.
George B.:
That's who's name?
Condoleeza R.:
Yes.
George B.: Will you or will you
not tell me the name of the new leader
of China?
Condoleeza R.: Yes, sir.
George B.: Yassir? Yassir Arafat is
in China? I thought he was in the Middle
East.
Condoleeza R.: That's correct.
George B.: Then who is in China?
Condoleeza R.: Yes, sir.
George
B.: Yassir is in China?
Condoleeza
R.: No, sir.
George B.: Then who is?
Condoleeza R.: Yes, sir.
George
B.: Yassir?
Condoleeza R.: No, sir.
George B.: Look, Condi. I need to
know the name of the new leader of
China. Get me the Secretary General of
the U.N. on the phone.
Condoleeza
R.: Kofi?
George B.: No, thanks.
Condoleeza R.: You want Kofi?
George B.: No.
Condoleeza R.:
You don't want Kofi.
George B.: No.
But now that you mention it, I could use
a glass of milk. And then get me the
U.N.
Condoleeza R.: Yes, sir.
George B.: Not Yassir! The guy at
the U.N.
Condoleeza R.: Kofi?
George B.: Milk! Will you please
make the call?
Condoleeza R.: And
call who?
George B.: Who is the guy
at the U.N?
Condoleeza R.: Hu is the
guy in China.
George B.: Will you
stay out of China?!
Condoleeza R.:
Yes, sir.
George B.: And stay out of
the Middle East! Just get me the guy at
the U.N.
Condoleeza R.: Kofi.
George B.: All right! With cream and
two sugars. Now get on the phone.
(Condi picks up the phone.)
Condoleeza R.: Rice, here.
George B.: Rice? Good idea. And a
couple of egg rolls, too. Maybe we
should send some to the guy in China.
And the Middle East.
A Chinese couple got married. When a baby girl was born, her eyes were big and blue, hair was curly and blonde, skin was brown. Finally, the father named the baby SUM TING RONG.
banc precedent When you have an I hate My Job day, try this: On your way home from work, stop at your pharmacy and go to the thermometer section and purchase a rectal thermometer made by Johnson [...]
banc urmator

This year, taxpayers will receive an
Economic Stimulus Payment. This is a
very exciting new program that I will
explain using the Q and A
format:
"Q. What is an Economic
Stimulus Payment?
"A. It is money
that the federal government will send to
taxpayers.
"Q. Where will the
government get this money?
"A. From
taxpayers.
"Q. So the
government is giving me back my own
money?
"A. No,
... citeste tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 28 Ianuarie 2009
Dr. Marc Faber, investment guru,
concluded his monthly bulletin (June
2008) with the following comments:
"The federal government is sending
each of us a $600 rebate. If we spend
that money at Wal-Mart, the money goes
to China. If we spend it on gasoline it
goes to the Arabs. If we buy a computer,
it will go to India. If we purchase
fruits and vegetables it will go to
Mexico, Honduras and
... citeste tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 3 Aprilie 2009
A Spanish teacher was explaining to her
class that in Spanish, unlike English,
nouns are designated as either masculine
or feminine.
"House" for instance,
is feminine: "la casa."
"Pencil,"
however, is masculine: "el lapiz."
A
student asked, "What gender is
'computer'?"
Instead of giving the
answer, the teacher split the class into
two groups, male and female, and asked
them to decide for
... citeste tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 5 Iunie 2007
Error messages:
1. Enter any
11-digit prime number to continue.
2. Press any key to continue or any
other key to quit.
3. Bad command or
file name! Go stand in the corner.
4. This will end your Windows
session. Do you want to play another
game?
5. Windows message: "Error
saving file! Format drive now? (Y/Y)"
6. To "shut down" your system, type
"WIN"
7. BREAKFAST.SYS halted...
Cereal port
... citeste tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 10 Noiembrie 2004
A dog walks into an employment agency
and says:
- I'd like to get a job
please.
The guy at the employment
agency says:
- Wow, you could easily
get a job at the circus, with your
talents!
The dog replys:
- What
would the circus want with a plumber?
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 19 Noiembrie 2013
A young man married a beautiful woman
who had previously divorced ten
husbands. She told her new husband,
"Please be gentle with me, as for me
it's the first time."
"What?" said
the puzzled groom. "How can that be if
you've been married ten times?"
"Well, husband #1 was a Sales
Representative; he kept telling me how
great it was going to be."
"Husband
#2 was in Software Services; he was
never
... citeste tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 2 August 2006
Donald Rumsfeld is giving the president
Bush his daily briefing. He concludes by
saying:
- Yesterday, 3 Brazilian
soldiers were killed.
- OH NO!, the
president exclaims. That's terrible!
His staff sits stunned at this
display of emotion, nervously watching
as the president sits, head in hands.
Finally, president looks up and
asks:
- How many is a brazillion?
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 11 Octombrie 2005
One night while I was cat-sitting my
daughter's indoor feline, it escaped
outside. When it failed to return the
following morning, I found the beast
clinging to a branch about 30 feet up in
a spindly tree. Unable to lure it down,
I called the fire department.
"We
don't do that anymore," the woman
dispatcher said. When I persisted, she
was polite but firm. "The cat will come
down when it gets
... citeste tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 30 Ianuarie 2007
A father was trying to teach his young
son the evils of alcohol.
He
put one worm in a glass of water and
another worm in a glass of
whiskey.
The worm in the water lived, while the
one in the whiskey
curled up and
died.
"All right, son," asked
the father, "what does that show you?"
"Well, Dad, it shows that if
you drink alcohol, you will not have
worms."
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 18 August 2008
A new store named Husband-Mart opened.
Husband-Mart is a store where women can
go and choose a husband from among many
men. The store is composed of six
floors, and the men increase in positive
attributes as the shopper ascends the
flight of stairs. There is, however, a
catch. AS you open the door to any floor
you may choose a man from that floor,
but if you go up a floor, you cannot go
back down
... citeste tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 30 Noiembrie 2004
On the first day of school, the teacher
asked a student:
- What are your
parents' names?
The student replied:
- My father's name is Laughing and
my mother's name is Smiling.
The
teacher said:
- Are you kidding?
The student said:
- No, Kidding
is my brother. I am Joking.
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 19 Martie 2015
This coming week is National Mental
Health Care week.
You can do
your part by remembering to contact at
least one unstable person to show you
care.
Well, my job is done!
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 18 Ianuarie 2007

News from Heaven: Due to the current
financial crisis facing the world at the
moment, the light at the end of the
tunnel will be switched off to save on
electricity costs, until further notice.
Sincerely yours,
God
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 21 Noiembrie 2008