George B.: Condi! Nice to see you. What's happening? Condoleeza R.: Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of...
propus: 12 Sep 2006
George B.: Condi! Nice to see you.
What's happening?
Condoleeza R.:
Sir, I have the report here about the
new leader of China.
George B.:
Great. Lay it on me.
Condoleeza R.:
Hu is the new leader of China.
George B.: That's what I want to
know.
Condoleeza R.: That's what I'm
telling you.
George B.: That's what
I'm asking you. Who is the new leader of
China?
Condoleeza R.: Yes.
George B.: I mean the fellow's name.
Condoleeza R.: Hu.
George B.:
The guy in China.
Condoleeza R.: Hu.
George B.: The new leader of China.
Condoleeza R.: Hu.
George B.:
The Chinaman!
Condoleeza R.: Hu is
leading China.
George B.: Now
whaddya' asking me for?
Condoleeza
R.: I'm telling you Hu is leading China.
George B.: Well, I'm asking you. Who
is leading China?
Condoleeza R.:
That's the man's name.
George B.:
That's who's name?
Condoleeza R.:
Yes.
George B.: Will you or will you
not tell me the name of the new leader
of China?
Condoleeza R.: Yes, sir.
George B.: Yassir? Yassir Arafat is
in China? I thought he was in the Middle
East.
Condoleeza R.: That's correct.
George B.: Then who is in China?
Condoleeza R.: Yes, sir.
George
B.: Yassir is in China?
Condoleeza
R.: No, sir.
George B.: Then who is?
Condoleeza R.: Yes, sir.
George
B.: Yassir?
Condoleeza R.: No, sir.
George B.: Look, Condi. I need to
know the name of the new leader of
China. Get me the Secretary General of
the U.N. on the phone.
Condoleeza
R.: Kofi?
George B.: No, thanks.
Condoleeza R.: You want Kofi?
George B.: No.
Condoleeza R.:
You don't want Kofi.
George B.: No.
But now that you mention it, I could use
a glass of milk. And then get me the
U.N.
Condoleeza R.: Yes, sir.
George B.: Not Yassir! The guy at
the U.N.
Condoleeza R.: Kofi?
George B.: Milk! Will you please
make the call?
Condoleeza R.: And
call who?
George B.: Who is the guy
at the U.N?
Condoleeza R.: Hu is the
guy in China.
George B.: Will you
stay out of China?!
Condoleeza R.:
Yes, sir.
George B.: And stay out of
the Middle East! Just get me the guy at
the U.N.
Condoleeza R.: Kofi.
George B.: All right! With cream and
two sugars. Now get on the phone.
(Condi picks up the phone.)
Condoleeza R.: Rice, here.
George B.: Rice? Good idea. And a
couple of egg rolls, too. Maybe we
should send some to the guy in China.
And the Middle East.
A Chinese couple got married. When a baby girl was born, her eyes were big and blue, hair was curly and blonde, skin was brown. Finally, the father named the baby SUM TING RONG.
banc precedent When you have an I hate My Job day, try this: On your way home from work, stop at your pharmacy and go to the thermometer section and purchase a rectal thermometer made by Johnson [...]
banc urmator
A US Navy Admiral was attending a naval
conference that included 20 Admirals
from the US, English, Canadian,
Australian and French Navies.
At a
reception, he found himself standing
with a huge group of officers that
included personnel from most of the
countries.
Everyone was chatting
away in English as they sipped their
drinks, but a French admiral suddenly
complained that, whereas Europeans
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3 Little Pigs - The Untold Story
This is classic - a true story,
proving how fascinating is the mind of a
six year old. They think so logically.
A teacher was reading the story
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She came to the part of the story where
the first pig was trying to gather the
building materials for his home. She
read, "...and so the pig went up to the
man with the
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School: Define The Following Terms
Antibody: Against everyone.
Artery: The study of fine paintings.
Bacteria: Back door to a cafeteria.
Benign: What you've been after
eight.
Cardiology: Advance study of
poker playing.
Cat Scan: Searching
for lost kitty.
Chronic: Neck of a
crow.
Coma: Punctuation mark.
Cyst: Short of sister.
Diagnosis: Person with slanted nose.
Dislocation: In
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After school one day, a young
first-grade boy was sitting at the
kitchen table, eating his afternoon
snack, when he blurted out, "Mom, the
teacher was asking me today if I have
any brothers or sisters who will be
coming to school."
The boy's mother
replied, "That's nice of her to take
such an interest, dear. What did she say
when you told her you are an only
child?"
She just said, "Thank
... citeste tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 10 Martie 2008
UNDERSTANDING WOMEN (A MAN'S
PERSPECTIVE)
I know I'm not going to
understand women.
I'll never
understand how you can take boiling hot
wax, pour it onto your upper thigh, rip
the hair out by the root, and still be
afraid of a spider.
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 13 Mai 2010
Well, it appears our African-American
friends have found yet something else to
be pissed about. A black congresswoman
reportedly complained that the names of
hurricanes are all Caucasian sounding
names. She would prefer some names that
reflect African-American culture such as
Chamiqua, Tanisha, Woeisha, Shaqueal,
and Jamal. She would also like the
weather reports to be broadcast in
language that
... citeste tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 20 Februarie 2007
A soldier stationed in Iraq recently
received a "Dear John" letter from his
girlfriend back home. It read as
follows:
Dear Ricky,
I can
no longer continue our relationship. The
distance between us is just too great. I
must admit that I have cheated on you
twice, since you've been gone, and
it's not fair to either of us.
I'm sorry.
Please return the
picture of me that I sent to
... citeste tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 10 Iunie 2005
A new missionary recruit went to
Venezuela for the first time. He was
struggling with the language and didn't
understand a whole lot of what was going
on. Intending to visit one of the local
churches, he got lost, but he eventually
got back on track and found the place.
Having arrived late, the church was
already packed. The only pew left was
the one on the front row.
So as
not to make a fool
... citeste tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 21 Februarie 2007
A cat died and went to Heaven. God met
her at the gates and said:
- You
have been a good cat all these years.
Anything you want is yours for the
asking.
The cat thought for a minute
and then said:
- All my life I lived
on a farm and slept on hard wooden
floors. I would like a real fluffy
pillow to sleep on.
God said:
-
Say no more.
Instantly the cat had a
huge fluffy pillow.
A few days
... citeste tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 30 Martie 2005
Each Friday night after work, Bubba
would fire up his outdoor grill and cook
venison steak. But all of Bubba's
neighbors were Catholic, and since it
was Lent, they were forbidden from
eating red meat on Friday.
The
delicious aroma from the grilled venison
steaks was causing such a problem for
the Catholic faithful that they finally
talked to their priest.
The priest
came to visit Bubba and
... citeste tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 8 Martie 2007
The Liverpool manager flies to Baghdad
to watch a young iraqi play football and
is suitably impressed and arranges him
to come over to Anfield.
Two
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Man Utd with only 20 minutes left. The
manager gives the young Iraqi striker
the nod and on he goes.
The lad
is a sensation, scores 5 in 20 minutes
and wins the game for Liverpool.
The fans are delighted,
... citeste tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 13 Februarie 2006
Phrases For Your "Out-Of-The-Office"
E-Mail Auto-Reply:
- I am
currently out at a job interview and
will reply to you if I fail to get the
position. Be prepared for my mood.
- I'm not really out of the
office. I'm just ignoring you.
- You are receiving this automatic
notification because I am out of the
office. If I was in, chances are you
wouldn't have received anything at
... citeste tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 18 Octombrie 2004
A Czech goes to the optician who shows
him a card with the letters 'C Z W X
N Q S T A C Z'.
"Can you read
this?" the optician asks.
"Read
it?" the Czech replies, "I even know the
guy."
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 31 August 2004
A man called home to his wife and said,
"Honey I have been asked to go
fishing up in Canada with my boss &
several of his friends. We'll be
gone for a week. This is a good
opportunity for me to get that promotion
I've been wanting so could you
please pack enough clothes for a week
and set out my rod and fishing box?
We're leaving from the office & I
will swing by the house to pick
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