The Pope is visiting Washington, D.C., and President Bush takes him out for an afternoon on the Potomac, cruising on the...
propus de: Aserere pe data: 28 Iul 2006
The Pope is visiting Washington, D.C.,
and President Bush takes him out for an
afternoon on the Potomac, cruising on
the Presidential yacht, the Sequoia.
They're admiring the sights when, all of
a sudden, the Pope's hat (zucchetto)
blows off his head and out into the
water.
Secret Service guys start to
launch a boat, but President Bush waves
them off, saying, "Wait, wait. I'll take
care of this. Don't worry."
Bush
then steps off the yacht onto the
surface of the water and walks out to
the Holy Father's little hat, bends
over, picks it up, and then walks back
to the yacht and climbs aboard. He hands
the hat to the Pope amid stunned
silence.
The next morning, the
headlines in the New York Times, Boston
Globe, Atlanta Constitution, Washington
Post, Boston Herald, Buffalo News,
Houston Chronicle, Milwaukee
Sentinel-Journal, Minneapolis Tribune,
Denver Post, Albuquerque Journal, Los
Angeles Times, and San Francisco
Chronicle all proclaim:
"Bush Can't
Swim!"
George Bush is visiting the Queen of England. He asks her, Your Majesty, how do you run such an efficient government? Are there any tips you can give me? Well, says the Queen, the most [...]
banc precedent In an airplane the captain tells the passengers: - This is your captain speaking. We are losing altitude and we do not have enough fuel to reach land. Therefore, we have to let all the baggage [...]
banc urmator
All eyes were on the radiant bride as
her father escorted her down the aisle.
They reached the altar and the waiting
groom; the bride kissed her father and
placed something in his hand. The guests
in the front pews, and the minister,
responded with ripples of laughter. As
her father gave her away in marriage,
the bride had given him back his credit
card.
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 28 Noiembrie 2006
See if you can do this. Read each line
aloud.
This is this cat
This is is cat
This is how cat
This is to cat
This is keep cat
This is a cat
This is dumbass
cat
This is busy cat
This is for
cat
This is forty cat
This is
seconds cat
Now go back and
read the THIRD word
in each line
from the top.
Betcha you can't
resist passing it on. LOL!
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 21 Noiembrie 2011
Drug-dealers vs software developers.
Drug dealers - Refer to their
clients as "users".
Software
developers - Refer to their clients as
"users".
Drug dealers - "The
first one's free!"
Software
developers - "Download a free trial
version..."
Drug dealers -
Have important South-East Asian
connections (to help move the stuff).
Software developers - Have important
South-East Asian
... citeste tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 28 Aprilie 2006
The Pope is visiting Washington, D.C.,
and President Bush takes him out for an
afternoon on the Potomac, cruising on
the Presidential yacht, the Sequoia.
They're admiring the sights when, all of
a sudden, the Pope's hat (zucchetto)
blows off his head and out into the
water.
Secret Service guys start to
launch a boat, but President Bush waves
them off, saying, "Wait, wait. I'll take
care of this.
... citeste tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 28 Iulie 2006
10 WAYS THE BIBLE WOULD BE DIFFERENT (If
Written By College Students)
10. Last Supper would have been
eaten the next morning - cold.
9.
The Ten Commandments are actually only
five, double-spaced, and written in a
large font.
8. New edition every two
years in order to limit reselling.
7. Forbidden fruit would have been
eaten because it wasn't cafeteria food.
6. Paul's letter to the Romans
... citeste tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 17 Mai 2007
- Bless me Father, for I have sinned
with a woman.
The priest asks, "Is
that you, little Johnny Parisi?"
-
Yes, Father, it is.
- And who was
the woman you were with?
- I can't
tell you, Father. I don't want to ruin
her reputation.
- Well, Johnny, I'm
sure to find out her name sooner or
later, so you may as well tell me now.
Was it Tina Minetti?
- I cannot say.
- Was it Teresa Volpe?
-
... citeste tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 6 Octombrie 2006
Well, it appears our African-American
friends have found yet something else to
be pissed about. A black congresswoman
reportedly complained that the names of
hurricanes are all Caucasian sounding
names. She would prefer some names that
reflect African-American culture such as
Chamiqua, Tanisha, Woeisha, Shaqueal,
and Jamal. She would also like the
weather reports to be broadcast in
language that
... citeste tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 20 Februarie 2007
Queen Elizabeth II, George W Bush &
Traian Basescu died & went straight to
hell.
Queen Elizabeth II said
"I miss Britain, I want to call Britain
and see how everybody is doing there.
She called and talked for about 5
minutes, then her Majesty asked "Well,
Devil how much do I owe you? The devil
replied "Five million dollars" She wrote
him a cheque and went to sit back on her
chair.
George
... citeste tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 27 Octombrie 2006
Mr. Gable had a leak in the roof over
his dining room, so he called a
repairman to take a look at it. "When
did you first notice the leak?" the
repairman inquired.
Mr. Gable
scowled. "Last night, when it took me
two hours to finish my soup!"
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 12 Octombrie 2006
Gravitation is not responsible for
people falling in love.
I never
think of the future. It comes soon
enough.
The only thing that
interferes with my learning is my
education.
Education is what remains
after one has forgotten everything he
learned in school.
Two things are
infinite: the universe and human
stupidity; and I'm not sure about
the universe.
Wire telegraph is a
kind of a very,
... citeste tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 12 Aprilie 2005
An engineer dies and reports to Heaven.
St. Peter checks his dossier and says,
"Ah, you're an engineer, you're in the
wrong place."
So the engineer
reports to Hell and is let in. Pretty
soon, the engineer gets dissatisfied
with the level of comfort in Hell, and
starts designing and building
improvements. After a while, they've got
air conditioning and flush toilets and
escalators, and the
... citeste tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 4 Aprilie 2007
A soldier stationed in Iraq recently
received a "Dear John" letter from his
girlfriend back home. It read as
follows:
Dear Ricky,
I can
no longer continue our relationship. The
distance between us is just too great. I
must admit that I have cheated on you
twice, since you've been gone, and
it's not fair to either of us.
I'm sorry.
Please return the
picture of me that I sent to
... citeste tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 10 Iunie 2005
A linguistics professor was lecturing
his class one day.
- In English, he
said, a double negative forms a
positive. In some languages, though,
such as Romanian, a double negative is
still a negative. However, there is no
language wherein a double positive can
form a negative.
A loud voice from
the back of the room piped up:
-
Yeah, right.
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 8 Iunie 2011