There were these three nuns that were killed in a traffic accident, and immediately sent to the Pearly Gates. As St. Peter was...
propus de: Asignix pe data: 5 Iun 2006
There were these three nuns that were
killed in a traffic accident, and
immediately sent to the Pearly Gates.
As St. Peter was looking over their
files, he said, "You ladies have been
very good, but before I can let you in,
you have to answer a question." So he
asks the first nun,
- "What was the
name of the first man that God created?"
- "Adam," she replied. The lights
started flashing, music started playing,
the angels started singing, and then two
angels came out and gave the nun her
halo and wings, and off she went into
the Pearly Gates. Then St.Peter asked
the second nun,
- "What was the name
of the name of the first woman that God
created?"
- "Eve," the nun said. And
the lights started and two angels came
out and gave the nun her halo and wings,
and off she went into the Pearly Gates.
Then St. Peter asked the third nun,
- "What was the first thing that Eve
said to Adam?" The nun, clearly
confused, started scratching her head,
and replied,
- "Gee, that's a hard
one!" And the lights started flashing,
the music started playing....
In an attempt to stop the spread of bird flu, President George W. Bush has just bombed the Canary Islands. Turkey is next...
banc precedent A man walks into a bar and he's really pissed. The bartender gives him a drink and asks what the problem is. All he says is: - All lawyers are assholes. A man sitting in the corner [...]
banc urmator
HOW TO RECRUIT THE RIGHT PERSON FOR THE
JOB?
Put about 100 bricks in
some particular order in a closed room
with an open window. Then send 2 or 3
candidates in the room and close the
door. Leave them alone and come back
after 6 hours and then analyses the
situation.
If they are counting
the bricks. Put them in the accounts
department.
If they are
recounting them. Put them in
... citeste tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 10 Martie 2006
TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence
starting with 'I.'
MILLIE: I is..
TEACHER: No, Millie..... Always say,
'I am.'
MILLIE: All right... 'I am
the ninth letter of the alphabet.'
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 26 Noiembrie 2008
The man told his doctor that he wasn't
able to do all the things around the
house that he used to do. When the
examination was complete, he said:
-
Now, Doc, I can take it. Tell me in
plain English what is wrong with me.
- Well, in plain English, the doctor
replied, you're just lazy.
- Okay,
said the man. Now give me the medical
term so I can tell my wife.
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 2 Iunie 2011
Gravitation is not responsible for
people falling in love.
I never
think of the future. It comes soon
enough.
The only thing that
interferes with my learning is my
education.
Education is what remains
after one has forgotten everything he
learned in school.
Two things are
infinite: the universe and human
stupidity; and I'm not sure about
the universe.
Wire telegraph is a
kind of a very,
... citeste tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 12 Aprilie 2005
Tom Thumb, Sleeping Beauty, and
Quasimodo were all talking one day.
Sleeping Beauty said:
- I
believe myself to be the most beautiful
girl in the world.
Tom Thumb said:
- I must be the smallest person in
the world.
Quasimodo said:
- I
absolutely have to be the ugliest person
in the world.
They decided to
go to the Guinness Book of World Records
to have their claims verified.
Sleeping
... citeste tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 15 Martie 2005
On the first day of school, the teacher
asked a student:
- What are your
parents' names?
The student replied:
- My father's name is Laughing and
my mother's name is Smiling.
The
teacher said:
- Are you kidding?
The student said:
- No, Kidding
is my brother. I am Joking.
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 19 Martie 2015
George Bush is visiting the Queen of
England. He asks her, "Your Majesty, how
do you run such an efficient government?
Are there any tips you can give me?"
"Well," says the Queen, "the
most important thing is to surround
yourself with intelligent people.
"Bush frowns. "But how do I know the
people around me are really
intelligent?"
The Queen takes a
sip of tea. "Oh, that's easy. You just
... citeste tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 14 Iulie 2006
This is an actual job application that a
75 year old senior citizen submitted to
Walmart in Arkansas. They hired him
because he was so funny.
- - - - - -
- - - - -
NAME: Kenneth Way (Grumpy
Bastard)
SEX: Not lately, but I am
looking for the right woman (or at least
one who will cooperate)
DESIRED
POSITION: Company's President or Vice
President. But seriously, whatever's
available. If I was in
... citeste tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 21 Noiembrie 2006
A school teacher sends this note to all
parents on the first day of school: "If
you promise not to believe everything
your child says happens at school, I'll
promise not to believe everything he
says happens at home."
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Duminica, 27 Ianuarie 2008
A Spanish teacher was explaining to her
class that in Spanish, unlike English,
nouns are designated as either masculine
or feminine.
"House" for instance,
is feminine: "la casa."
"Pencil,"
however, is masculine: "el lapiz."
A
student asked, "What gender is
'computer'?"
Instead of giving the
answer, the teacher split the class into
two groups, male and female, and asked
them to decide for
... citeste tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 5 Iunie 2007
An engineer was crossing a road one-day
when a frog called out to him and said:
- If you kiss me, I'll turn into
a beautiful princess.
He bent over,
picked up the frog and put it in his
pocket.
The frog spoke up again and
said:
- If you kiss me and turn me
back into a beautiful princess, I will
stay with you for one week.
The
engineer took the frog out of his
pocket, smiled at it and
... citeste tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 31 Martie 2005
Error messages:
1. Enter any
11-digit prime number to continue.
2. Press any key to continue or any
other key to quit.
3. Bad command or
file name! Go stand in the corner.
4. This will end your Windows
session. Do you want to play another
game?
5. Windows message: "Error
saving file! Format drive now? (Y/Y)"
6. To "shut down" your system, type
"WIN"
7. BREAKFAST.SYS halted...
Cereal port
... citeste tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 10 Noiembrie 2004