Drug-dealers vs software developers. Drug dealers - Refer to their clients as users. Software developers - Refer to their...
Banc din categoria: Bancuri in Engleza (English)
propus de: Olly pe data: 28 Apr 2006
Drug-dealers vs software developers.
banc precedent A man is taking a walk in Central park in New York. Suddenly he sees the little girl being attacked by a pitbull. He runs over and starts fighting with the dog. He succeds in killing the dog [...]
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One sunny day in 2005 an old man approached the White House from across Pennsylvania Ave, where he'd been sitting on a park bench. He spoke to the US Marine standing guard and said, "I would like to go in and meet with President Bush."
The Marine looked at the man and said, "Sir, Mr. Bush is no longer president and no longer resides here." The old man said, "Okay" and walked away.
The following ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 24 Noiembrie 2005
After school one day, a young first-grade boy was sitting at the kitchen table, eating his afternoon snack, when he blurted out, "Mom, the teacher was asking me today if I have any brothers or sisters who will be coming to school."
The boy's mother replied, "That's nice of her to take such an interest, dear. What did she say when you told her you are an only child?"
She just said, "Thank ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 10 Martie 2008
TEACHER: Clyde, your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
CLYDE: No, sir. It's the same dog. ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 26 Noiembrie 2008
Amazingly simple home remedies: 1. Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold the vegetables while you chop.
2. Avoid arguments with the females about lifting the toilet seat by using the sink.
3. For high blood pressure sufferers: Simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure on your veins. Remember to use a timer.
4. A mouse ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Duminica, 9 Noiembrie 2008
A man is taking a walk in Central park in New York. Suddenly he sees the little girl being attacked by a pitbull. He runs over and starts fighting with the dog. He succeds in killing the dog and saving the girls live.
A policeman who was watching the scene walks over and says:
- You are a hero, tomorrow you can read it in all the newspapers: "Brave New Yorker saves a little girl's life"
- But ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 3 Mai 2006
A crew of highway maintenance workers was sent to repair some road signs that vandals had knocked down in a forested area. The first one they put back up was a symbol warning of a deer crossing.
As they moved down the road to repair the next sign, one crew member looked back and spotted a deer running across the highway.
She turned to a co-worker and said, "I wonder how long he's been waiting ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 11 Iunie 2007
Five Germans in an Audi Quattro arrive at the Italian border.
The Italian Customs Officer stops them and tells them:
- It's a illegala to put a cinque people in a Quattro.
- Vot do you mean it's illegal? asks the German driver.
- Quattro meansa four, replies the Italian official.
- Quattro is just ze name of ze automobile!, the German says unbelievingly. Look at ze dam papers: ze car is ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 26 Ianuarie 2006
A guy dies and is sent to Hell. Satan meets him, shows him doors to three rooms, and says he must choose one spend eternity in.
In the first room, people are standing in shit up to their necks. The guy says "no, let me see the next room."
In the second room, people are standing with shit up to their noses. Guy says no again.
Finally, Satan opens the door to the third room. People are standing ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 2 Februarie 2006
I am not sure exactly how this works,
but this is amazingly accurate. The picture below has two identical dolphins in it. It was used in a case study on stress levels at the Mayo Clinic and later at Fletcher Medical Center in Burlington.
Look at both dolphins jumping out of the water. The dolphins are identical. A closely monitored, scientific study revealed that, in spite of the fact that ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 25 Martie 2008
A clergyman, walking down a country lane, saw a young farmer struggling to load hay back onto a cart after it had fallen off.
- You look tired, my son, said the cleric. Why don't you rest a moment, and I'll give you a hand.
- No thanks, said the young man. My father wouldn't approve.
- Don't be silly, the minister said. Everyone is entitled to a break. Come and have a drink of water.
Again ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 3 Mai 2007
Many hymnals have a hymn called "Gladly
the Cross I'd Bear." It seems that one week when the church secretary was typing the Sunday
bulletin, she asked the pastor which hymn would come just before the
sermon. He replied with the above-mentioned hymn.
The following Sunday the bulletin read:
Hymn No. 134: "Gladly, the Cross-eyed Bear." ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 16 Octombrie 2008
Thoughts from USA...
(1) Zero Gravity
When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ball-point pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat this problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 billion developing a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside-down, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to over 300 ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 10 Martie 2006
When Charles de Gaulle decided to retire
from public life, the British ambassador
and his wife threw a gala dinner party
in his honor. At the dinner table, the
Ambassador’s wife was talking with
Madame deGaulle: - Your husband has been such a prominent public figure, such a presence on the French and international scene for so many years! How quiet retirement will seem in comparison. What ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 6 Martie 2009
Explicatii de dat atunci cand nu va merg aplicatiile si programele.
COUNT DOWN......
20. "That's weird..."
19. "It's never done that before."
18. "It worked yesterday."
17. "How is that possible?"
16. "It must be a hardware problem."
15. "What did you type in wrong to get it to crash?"
14. "There is something funky in your data."
13. "I haven't touched that module in weeks!"
12. ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 28 Noiembrie 2006
One Sunday morning, everyone in a bright, beautiful, tiny town got up early and went to the local church. Before the services started, the townspeople were sitting in their pews and talking about their lives, their families, etc.
Suddenly, Satan appeared at the front of the church. Everyone started screaming and running for the front entrance, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 5 Aprilie 2007