European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather...
propus: 5 Apr 2006
European Commission has just announced
an agreement whereby English will be the
official language of the European Union
rather than German, which was the other
possibility.
As part of the
negotiations, the British Government
conceded that English spelling had some
room for improvement and has accepted a
5- year phase-in plan that would become
known as "Euro-English".
In the
first year, "s" will replace the soft
"c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil
servants jump with joy.
The hard
"c" will be dropped in favour of "k".
This should klear up konfusion, and
keyboards kan have one less letter.
There will be growing publik
enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with
"f". This will make words like fotograf
20% shorter.
In the 3rd year, publik
akseptanse of the new spelling kan be
expekted to reach the stage where more
komplikated changes are possible.
Governments will enkourage the
removal of double letters which have
always ben a deterent to akurate
speling.
Also, al wil agre that the
horibl mes of the silent "e" in the
languag is disgrasful and it should go
away.
By the 4th yer people wil be
reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th"
with "z" and "w" with "v".
During ze
fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd
from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz
fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensi bl
riten styl.
Zer vil be no mor trubl
or difikultis and evrivun
vil find
it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of
a united urop vil finali kum tru.
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be
speking German like zey vunted in ze
forst plas.
If zis mad you smil,
pleas pas on to oza pepl.
HOW TO RECRUIT THE RIGHT PERSON FOR THE JOB? Put about 100 bricks in some particular order in a closed room with an open window. Then send 2 or 3 candidates in the room and close the door. [...]
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banc următor
In a class on abnormal psychology, the
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The instructor asked, "How would you
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forth, screaming at the top of his lungs
one minute, then sits in a chair weeping
uncontrollably the next?"
A young man in the rear raised his hand
and suggested earnestly, "A basketball
coach?"
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"Due to lack of maintenance," he read,
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The orthopedic surgeon I work for was
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I sat the display skeleton in the front
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drive across town. At one traffic light,
the stares of the people in the car
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FINAL EXAM
The student reports for his university
final examination that consists of
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seat in the examination hall, stares at
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then, in a fit of inspiration, takes out
a coin and starts tossing it, marking
the answer sheet: Yes, for Heads, and!
No, for Tails. Within half an hour he
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Suddenly he hears a deep voice: DIG!
He looks around; nobody's there. "I am
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So he starts to dig in the sand with his
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The deep voice says: OPEN!
OK, the man thinks, let's open the
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Robert went to his lawyer and said:
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The lawyer smiled at Robert and replied:
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Robert looked somewhat upset and said:
- Well, I knew you were going to take a
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1. Project Manager is a person who
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2. Developer is a person who thinks it
will take 18 months to deliver a baby.
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If you love something, set it free. If
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If it doesn't come back, it was never
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sits in your living room, messes up your
stuff, eats your food, uses your
telephone, takes your money, and doesn't
appear to realize that you had set it
free... You either married it or gave
birth to it
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 9 August 2007
On a sunny morning, William's mother
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"William, it's Sunday. Time to get up!
Time to get up and go to church! Get
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From under the covers came mumbles, "I
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"What do you mean?" she said. "That's
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Positive Thinking Poem...
Little birdy in the sky,
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You don't mind and you don't cry,
You just thank God that cows don't
fly...
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