Positive Thinking Poem... Little birdy in the sky, You look up and it shits in your eye You don't mind and you don't...
propus de: Dovy pe data: 10 Mar 2006
THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN
THINGS THAT ARE VERY
DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
THINGS THAT ARE
DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
1. No thanks, I'm married.
Nope, no more booze for me!
Sorry, but ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 22 Mai 2008
Have you heard of the Air Force's
ultra-high-security, super-secret base
in Nevada, known simply as "Area 51"?
Well, late one afternoon, the
Air Force folks out at Area 51 were very
surprised to see a Cessna landing at
their "secret" base. They immediately
impounded the aircraft and hauled the
pilot into an interrogation room.
The pilot's story was that he took
off from Las Vegas, got lost, ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 10 Decembrie 2007
Bill and Diane were in a terrible
accident and Diane's face was
told Bill that they couldn't graft
any skin from her body because she was
So Bill offered to
donate some of his own skin. However,
the only skin on his body that the
doctor felt was suitable would have to
come from his buttocks.
husband and wife agreed that they would ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 31 August 2004
TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence
starting with 'I.'
MILLIE: I is..
TEACHER: No, Millie..... Always say,
MILLIE: All right... 'I am
the ninth letter of the alphabet.' ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 26 Noiembrie 2008
The truth about working in the IT
1. We work weird
2. They pay you to
make the client happy...
client pays a lot of money, but your
employer keeps almost every penny...
4. You are rewarded for fulfilling
the client's dreams...
friends fall apart and you end up
hanging out with people in the same
profession as you...
6. When you
have to meet the ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 27 Noiembrie 2006
1. The Japanese eat very little fat and
suffer fewer heart attacks than
2. The Mexicans eat a lot
of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks
3. The Chinese drink
very little red wine and suffer fewer
heart attacks than Americans.
Italians drink excessive amounts of red
wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than
5. The Germans drink a
lot of beers and eat ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 11 Noiembrie 2004
In an airplane the captain tells the
- This is your captain
speaking. We are losing altitude and we
do not have enough fuel to reach land.
Therefore, we have to let all the
baggage leave the airplane.
airplane gains altitude again. Half an
hour later the airplane begins losing
altitude again and the captain is on the
loudspeakers once more:
- This is
your captain speaking. We ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 31 Iulie 2006
21st CENTURY LIFELESSNESS...
Our communication - Wireless
telephone - Cordless
Our cooking -
Our youth - Jobless
religion - Creedless
Our food -
Our faith - Godless
labor - Effortless
Our conduct -
Our relation - Loveless
Our attitude - Careless
feelings - Heartless
Our politics -
Our education - Valueless
Our Follies - ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 20 Iulie 2005
European Commission has just announced
an agreement whereby English will be the
official language of the European Union
rather than German, which was the other
As part of the
negotiations, the British Government
conceded that English spelling had some
room for improvement and has accepted a
5- year phase-in plan that would become
known as "Euro-English".
first year, "s" will ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 5 Aprilie 2006
Many hymnals have a hymn called "Gladly
the Cross I'd Bear."
that one week when the church secretary
was typing the Sunday
asked the pastor which hymn would come
just before the
sermon. He replied
with the above-mentioned hymn.
The following Sunday the bulletin
Hymn No. 134: "Gladly,
the Cross-eyed Bear." ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 16 Octombrie 2008