A statistician, who refused to fly after reading of the alarmingly high probability that there will be a bomb on any given plane,...
propus: 7 Feb 2006
Each Friday night after work, Bubba
would fire up his outdoor grill and cook
venison steak. But all of Bubba's
neighbors were Catholic, and since it
was Lent, they were forbidden from
eating red meat on Friday.
The
delicious aroma from the grilled venison
steaks was causing such a problem for
the Catholic faithful that they finally
talked to their priest.
The priest
came to visit Bubba and
... citeste tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 8 Martie 2007
A property manager of an apartment
complex was showing a unit to
prospective tenants and asking the usual
questions.
"Professionally
employed?" he asked.
"We're a
military family," the wife answered.
"Children?"
"Oh, yes, ages nine
and twelve," she answered proudly.
"Animals?"
"Oh, no," she said
earnestly. "They're very well behaved."
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 23 Aprilie 2008

Young Chuck moved to Texas and bought a
Donkey from a farmer for $100. The
farmer agreed to deliver the Donkey the
next day.
The next day he drove
up and said, 'Sorry son, but I have some
bad News, the donkey died.' Chuck
replied, 'Well, then just give me my
money back.' The farmer said, 'Can't
do that. I went and spent it already.'
Chuck said, 'Ok, then, just
bring me the dead
... citeste tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 14 Octombrie 2008
A man follows a woman out of a movie
theatre. She has a dog on a leash. He
stops her and says, "I'm sorry to
bother you, but I couldn't help but
notice that your dog was really into the
movie. He cried at the right spots, he
moved nervously in his seat at the
boring parts, but most of all, he
laughed like crazy at the funny parts.
Did you find that unusual?"
"Yes,"
she replied, "I found
... citeste tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 18 Octombrie 2004
A psychiatrist was conducting a group
therapy session with four young mothers
and their small children...
- You
all have obsessions, he observed.
To
the first mother, Mary, he said:
-
You are obsessed with eating. You've
even named your daughter Candy.
He
turned to the second Mom, Ann:
-
Your obsession is money. Again, it
manifests itself in your child's name,
Penny.
He turns to the third
... citeste tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 17 Ianuarie 2007
Concerned about fitness in my middle
40s, I enrolled in an aerobics class. To
my dismay I walked into a room filled
with much younger women and decided to
combat my nervousness with humor.
"I'm here to do my postnatal
exercises."
The instructor gave me
an appraising look. "How old is your
baby?"
"Twenty-six," I replied.
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 13 Februarie 2008
I was having trouble with my computer.
So I called Harold, the computer guy, to
come over. Harold clicked a couple of
buttons and solved the problem. He gave
me a bill for a minimum service call.
As he was walking away, I called
after him, "So, what was wrong?"
He
replied, "It was an 'ID ten T' error."
I didn't want to appear stupid, but
I nonetheless inquired, "An ID ten T
Error? What's that,
... citeste tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 4 Iunie 2007
Friends of women:
A wife was
not at home for a whole night. So she
tells her husband, the very next
morning, that she stayed at her
girlfriend's apartment over night.
So the husband calls 10 of her best
girlfriends and none of them confirm
that.
Friends of men:
A husband was not at home for a
whole night. So he tells his wife the
very next morning, that he stayed at his
friend's
... citeste tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 28 Septembrie 2004
My grandmother is a computer geek. She
also has trouble remembering quickly
sometimes. One day she couldn't think of
what she wanted to tell us.
Mom
explained, "Your grandma is trying to
retrieve the information, but it is
taking awhile. Evidently she hasn't
defragmented her hard drive lately."
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 8 Octombrie 2007
On the first day of school, the teacher
asked a student:
- What are your
parents' names?
The student replied:
- My father's name is Laughing and
my mother's name is Smiling.
The
teacher said:
- Are you kidding?
The student said:
- No, Kidding
is my brother. I am Joking.
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 19 Martie 2015
This coming week is National Mental
Health Care week.
You can do
your part by remembering to contact at
least one unstable person to show you
care.
Well, my job is done!
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 18 Ianuarie 2007
Two guys walk into a bar, separately,
and have a seat at the bar.
One
guy notices the other has a black eye,
just like him.
“Hey buddy,
how’d you get your shiner?”
“Well, I was at the train station,
and the ticket girl was veeery hot. And
instead of two tickets to Pittsburg, I
slipped and said ‘two PICKets to
TITTsburg’ and she hit me square in
the
... citeste tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Duminica, 24 August 2008