Three kids come down to the kitchen and sit around the breakfast table. The mother asks the oldest boy what he would like to...
propus de: Olly pe data: 2 Feb 2006
Three kids come down to the kitchen and
sit around the breakfast table. The
mother asks the oldest boy what he would
like to eat. A guy joins a monastery and takes a vow of silence: he is allowed to say two words every seven years. After the first seven years, the elders bring him in and ask for his two words. [...]
- I would have some
****** French toast, he says.
mother is outraged at his language, hits
him, and sends him upstairs. She asks
the middle child what he wants.
Well, I guess that leaves more *******
French toast for me, he says.
livid, smacks him, and sends him away.
Finally she asks the youngest son what
he wants for breakfast.
- I do not
know, he says meekly, but I definitely
do not want the ******** French toast.
banc precedent Last night I went to a 24-hour grocery. When I got there, the guy was locking the front door. I said, Hey, the sign says you're open 24 hours. He goes: Not in a row!
A couple was going out for the evening.
They'd gotten ready, all dolled up,
dog put out, etc. The taxi arrives, and
as the couple start out, the dog shoots
back in the house. They don't want
the dog shut in the house,so the wife
goes out to the taxi while the husband
goes upstairs to chase the dog out.
The wife, not wanting it known that
the house will be empty explains to the
taxi ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 31 August 2004
Little Logan and his family were having
Thanksgiving dinner at his grandmother's
house. Everyone was seated round the
table as the food was being served. When
little Logan received his plate, he
started eating right away.
wait until we say our prayer, his mother
- I don't need to, the
little boy replied.
- Of course you
do! his mother insisted, We say a prayer
before ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 21 Noiembrie 2006
The man told his doctor that he wasn't
able to do all the things around the
house that he used to do. When the
examination was complete, he said:
Now, Doc, I can take it. Tell me in
plain English what is wrong with me.
- Well, in plain English, the doctor
replied, you're just lazy.
said the man. Now give me the medical
term so I can tell my wife. ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 2 Iunie 2011
The graduate with a Science degree asks,
"Why does it work?"
with an Engineering degree asks, "How
does it work?"
The graduate with an
Accounting degree asks, "How much will
The graduate with an Arts
degree asks, "Do you want fries with
that?" ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 31 Martie 2005
A man is incomplete until he is married.
Then he is finished.
is the triumph of imagination over
When a woman
steals your husband, there is no better
revenge than to let her keep him. ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 6 Octombrie 2006
A young man married a beautiful woman
who had previously divorced ten
husbands. She told her new husband,
"Please be gentle with me, as for me
it's the first time."
the puzzled groom. "How can that be if
you've been married ten times?"
"Well, husband #1 was a Sales
Representative; he kept telling me how
great it was going to be."
#2 was in Software Services; he was
never ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 2 August 2006
The Programmer's drinking song:
99 little bugs in the code,
bugs in the code,
Fix one bug,
compile it again,
101 little bugs
in the code.
101 little bugs in the
101 bugs in the code,
Fix one bug, compile it again,
103 little bugs in the code. ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 16 Octombrie 2006
TEACHER: George Washington not only
chopped down his father's cherry tree,
but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you
know why his father didn't punish him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the
axe in his hand. ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 1 Mai 2009
You Know You Have a Bad Computer When...
10. The lower corner of screen has
the words "Etch A Sketch" on it.
When you insert a disk, it spits out a
pack of cigarettes.
8. You have to
7. The manual contains one
sentence: "Good luck!"
6. The only
chip inside came from a bag of Doritos.
5. When you turn it on, the dogs in
the neighborhood start howling.
You catch a virus from ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 20 August 2007
- 25th Wedding Anniversary -
banquet of Tom and Susan's 25th wedding
anniversary, Tom was asked to give his
friends a brief account of the benefits
of a marriage of such long duration.
- Tell us, Tom, just what is it you
have learned from all those wonderful
years with your wife?
- Well, I've learned that marriage
is the best teacher of all. It teaches
you loyalty, ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 21 Iunie 2007
"I just don't understand it", an Irish
footballer complained... "One match I
play very well, and then the next match
"Well", said his
wife, "why don't you just play every
other match?" ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 30 Aprilie 2008
Five Jews changed the way you see the
- Moses: The Law is
- Jesus: Love is
- Marx: Money is
- Freud: Sex is
- Einstein: Everything
is relative. ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 14 Februarie 2005
Depression in the age of global
outsourcing: I was feeling depressed the
other day, so I called LifeLine. They
had recently outsourced, so I was put
through to their new Call Center in
I explained that I was
feeling suicidal. They were very excited
to hear this and wanted to know if I
could drive a truck or fly an
airplane.... ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 12 Noiembrie 2007