THE WORLD'S SHORTEST FAIRY TALE: Once upon a time a guy asked a girl: Will you marry me? The girl said NO! And the guy...
propus: 16 Ian 2006
A dog walks into an employment agency
and says:
- I'd like to get a job please.
The guy at the employment agency says:
- Wow, you could easily get a job at the
circus, with your talents!
The dog replys:
- What would the circus want with a
plumber?
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marți, 19 Noiembrie 2013
Jack and Max are walking from religious
service. Jack wonders whether it would
be all right to smoke while praying. Max
replies, "Why don't you ask the
Priest?" So Jack goes up to the Priest
and asks, "Priest, may I smoke while I
pray?"
But the Priest says, "No, my son, you
may not. That's utter disrespect to
our religion."
Jack goes back to his friend and tells
him what the good Priest
... citește tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 1 Septembrie 2004
A man called 911 and said, "Someone come
quick! My wife fell asleep on the couch
with her mouth open and a mouse ran down
her throat!"
The operator replied, "Calm down, sir.
Wave a piece of cheese over her mouth
and maybe the mouse will come out. An
ambulance is on the way."
When the ambulance arrived, the EMT
found the man waving a fish over his
wife's mouth.
"What on earth are you doing?"
... citește tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 13 August 2008
A young lady visited the government
matchmaker for marriage and requested:
"I'm looking for a spouse. Can you
please help me to find a suitable one?"
The marriage officer said: "Your
requirements please."
"Well, let me see. Needs to be good
looking, polite, humorous, sporty,
knowledgeable, good at singing and
dancing.
Willing to accompany me the whole day at
home during my leisure hour, if I
... citește tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 27 August 2007
An English professor wrote the words :
"A woman without her man is nothing"
on the chalkboard and asked his students
to punctuate it correctly.
All of the males in the class wrote:
"A woman, without her man, is nothing."
All the females in the class wrote:
"A woman: without her, man is nothing."
Punctuation is powerful
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marți, 31 August 2004
There is an old story about a mother who
walks in on her six-year-old son and
finds him sobbing. "What's the matter?"
she asks.
"I've just figured out how to tie my
shoes."
"Well, honey, that's wonderful." Being a
wise mother, she recognizes his victory
in the Eriksonian struggle of autonomy
versus doubt: "You're growing up, but
why are you crying?"
"Because," he says, "now I'll have to do
it
... citește tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 20 Aprilie 2007
I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty
uesdnatnrd waht I was rdgnieg The
phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid
Aodccrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde
Uinervtisy, it dnsoe't mttaer in
waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are,
the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the
frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit
pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and
you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.
Tihs is bcuseae the
... citește tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 10 Noiembrie 2004
- Bless me Father, for I have sinned
with a woman.
The priest asks, "Is that you, little
Johnny Parisi?"
- Yes, Father, it is.
- And who was the woman you were with?
- I can't tell you, Father. I don't want
to ruin her reputation.
- Well, Johnny, I'm sure to find out her
name sooner or later, so you may as well
tell me now. Was it Tina Minetti?
- I cannot say.
- Was it Teresa Volpe?
- I'll never
... citește tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 6 Octombrie 2006
A few years ago, I decided to visit my
brother who was stationed in Germany. I
assumed that most Germans would speak
English. But I found that many people
spoke only their native tongue -
including the ticket inspector on the
train.
He punched my ticket, then chatted
cordially for a bit, making gestures
like a windmill. I simply nodded from
time to time to show him that I was
interested.
When he
... citește tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 20 Octombrie 2006
Sweetheart:
I can't send my salary this month,
so I am sending 100 kisses. You are my
sweetheart.
Your husband,
Allen
...
His wife replied back after some days to
her husband:
Dearest sweetheart,
Thanks for your 100 kisses, I am sending
the expenses details:
1. The Milk man agreed on 2 kisses for
one month's milk.
2. The electricity man only agreed after
7 kisses.
3. Your house owner
... citește tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marți, 13 Septembrie 2005
The man told his doctor that he wasn't
able to do all the things around the
house that he used to do. When the
examination was complete, he said:
- Now, Doc, I can take it. Tell me in
plain English what is wrong with me.
- Well, in plain English, the doctor
replied, you're just lazy.
- Okay, said the man. Now give me the
medical term so I can tell my wife.
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 2 Iunie 2011
Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is your
emergency?
Caller: I heard what sounded like
gunshots coming from the brown house on
the corner.
Dispatcher: Do you have an address?
Caller: No, I have on a blouse and
slacks, why?
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 12 Aprilie 2007
TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical
formula for water?
DONALD: H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O.
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 26 Noiembrie 2008