An English professor wrote the words : A woman without her man is nothing on the chalkboard and asked his students to...
propus: 31 Aug 2004
A father was trying to teach his young
son the evils of alcohol.
put one worm in a glass of water and
another worm in a glass of
The worm in the water lived, while the
one in the whiskey
curled up and
"All right, son," asked
the father, "what does that show you?"
"Well, Dad, it shows that if
you drink alcohol, you will not have
worms." ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 18 August 2008
1. The sport of choice for the urban
poor is BASKETBALL.
2. The sport of
choice for maintenance level employees
3. The sport of choice
for front-line workers is FOOTBALL.
4. The sport of choice for
supervisors is BASEBALL.
sport of choice for middle management is
6. The sport of choice for
corporate officers is GOLF.
you are in ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 18 Octombrie 2004
Women are like apples on trees. The best
ones are at the top of the tree. Most
men don't want to reach for the good
ones because they are afraid of falling
and getting hurt. Instead, they just
take the rotten apples from the ground
that aren't as good, but easy.......
The apples at the top think something is
wrong with them, when in reality,
they're amazing. They just have to
wait for ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 5 Mai 2005
Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is the nature of
Caller: I'm trying
to reach nine eleven but my phone
doesn't have an eleven on it.
Dispatcher: This is nine eleven.
Caller: I though you just said it
ma'am nine-one-one and nine-eleven are
the same thing.
Caller: Honey, I may
be old, but I'm not stupid. ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 12 Aprilie 2007
TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence
starting with 'I.'
MILLIE: I is..
TEACHER: No, Millie..... Always say,
MILLIE: All right... 'I am
the ninth letter of the alphabet.' ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 26 Noiembrie 2008
A man drinks a shot of whisky every
night before bed. After years of this,
his wife wants him to quit; she gets two
shot glasses, filling one with water and
the other with whisky.
him to the table that has the glasses,
she brings his bait box. She says, "I
want you to see this." She puts a worm
in the water, and it swims around.
She puts a worm in the whisky, and
the worm dies ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 8 Decembrie 2006
In an airplane the captain tells the
- This is your captain
speaking. We are losing altitude and we
do not have enough fuel to reach land.
Therefore, we have to let all the
baggage leave the airplane.
airplane gains altitude again. Half an
hour later the airplane begins losing
altitude again and the captain is on the
loudspeakers once more:
- This is
your captain speaking. We ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 31 Iulie 2006
There were these three nuns that were
killed in a traffic accident, and
immediately sent to the Pearly Gates.
As St. Peter was looking over their
files, he said, "You ladies have been
very good, but before I can let you in,
you have to answer a question." So he
asks the first nun,
- "What was the
name of the first man that God created?"
- "Adam," she replied. The lights
started flashing, ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 5 Iunie 2006
I was out walking with my 4 year old
daughter. She picked up something off
the ground and started to put it in her
mouth. I took the item away from her and
I asked her not to do that. "Why?" my
daughter asked. "Because it's been on
the ground, you don't know where it's
been, it'sdirty and probably has germs"
I replied. At this point, my daughter
looked at me with total admiration and ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 22 Martie 2007
A Chinese couple got married. When a
baby girl was born, her eyes were big
and blue, hair was curly and blonde,
skin was brown. Finally, the father
named the baby SUM TING RONG." ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 11 Septembrie 2006
A new missionary recruit went to
Venezuela for the first time. He was
struggling with the language and didn't
understand a whole lot of what was going
on. Intending to visit one of the local
churches, he got lost, but he eventually
got back on track and found the place.
Having arrived late, the church was
already packed. The only pew left was
the one on the front row.
not to make a fool ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 21 Februarie 2007
In a class on abnormal psychology, the
instructor was about to introduce the
subject of manic depression.
instructor asked, "How would you
diagnose a patient who walks back and
forth, screaming at the top of his lungs
one minute, then sits in a chair weeping
uncontrollably the next?"
man in the rear raised his hand and
suggested earnestly, "A basketball
coach?" ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 4 Decembrie 2006
A statistician, who refused to fly after
reading of the alarmingly high
probability that there will be a bomb on
any given plane, realized that the
probability of there being two bombs on
any given flight is very low. Now,
whenever he flies, he carries a bomb
with him. ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 7 Februarie 2006
Sally phoned her husband, Bill, at work
for a chat.
"I'm sorry dear," said
Bill, "but I'm up to my neck in work
today. I don't have time to chat."
Sally replied, "But I've got some
good news and some bad news for you,
"OK, darling," said Bill,
"but as I've got no time right now, just
give me the good news."
Sally. "Well, the air bag works!" ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 7 August 2008
"In Italy for thirty years under the
Borgias they had warfare, terror,
murder, bloodshed; they produced
Michelangelo, Leonardo da Vinci and the
In Switzerland they had
brotherly love, five hundred years of
democracy and peace, and what did they
produce? The cuckoo clock!"
Welles ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 16 Mai 2005