An English professor wrote the words : A woman without her man is nothing on the chalkboard and asked his students to...

Banc din categoria: Bancuri in Engleza (English)

propus: 31 Aug 2004

An English professor wrote the words :
"A woman without her man is nothing"
on the chalkboard and asked his students to punctuate it correctly.

All of the males in the class wrote:
"A woman, without her man, is nothing."


All the females in the class wrote:
"A woman: without her, man is nothing."

Punctuation is powerful

Bill and Diane were in a terrible accident and Diane's face was severely burned. The doctor told Bill that they couldn't graft any skin from her body because she was too skinny. [...]
banc precedent
A couple was going out for the evening. They'd gotten ready, all dolled up, dog put out, etc. The taxi arrives, and as the couple start out, the dog shoots back in the house. They don't want the dog [...]
banc urmator

Five Jews changed the way you see the world...
- Moses: The Law is everything.
- Jesus: Love is everything.
- Marx: Money is everything.
- Freud: Sex is everything.
- Einstein: Everything is relative. ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 14 Februarie 2005


Each Friday night after work, Bubba would fire up his outdoor grill and cook venison steak. But all of Bubba's neighbors were Catholic, and since it was Lent, they were forbidden from eating red meat on Friday.
The delicious aroma from the grilled venison steaks was causing such a problem for the Catholic faithful that they finally talked to their priest.
The priest came to visit Bubba and ... citeste tot

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 8 Martie 2007


Women are like apples on trees. The best ones are at the top of the tree. Most men don't want to reach for the good ones because they are afraid of falling and getting hurt. Instead, they just take the rotten apples from the ground that aren't as good, but easy....... The apples at the top think something is wrong with them, when in reality, they're amazing. They just have to wait for ... citeste tot

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 5 Mai 2005


In an attempt to stop the spread of bird flu, President George W. Bush has just bombed the Canary Islands."
Turkey is next... ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 2 Iunie 2006


Q: What's the difference between biology and sociology?
A: When the baby looks like his dad or mom, then it is biology. When the baby looks like the neighbour, then it is sociology. ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 5 Februarie 2007


See if you can do this. Read each line aloud.

This is this cat
This is is cat
This is how cat
This is to cat
This is keep cat
This is a cat
This is dumbass cat
This is busy cat
This is for cat
This is forty cat
This is seconds cat

Now go back and read the THIRD word
in each line from the top.
Betcha you can't resist passing it on. LOL! ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 21 Noiembrie 2011


Dr. Marc Faber, investment guru, concluded his monthly bulletin (June 2008) with the following comments:
"The federal government is sending each of us a $600 rebate. If we spend that money at Wal-Mart, the money goes to China. If we spend it on gasoline it goes to the Arabs. If we buy a computer, it will go to India. If we purchase fruits and vegetables it will go to Mexico, Honduras and ... citeste tot

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 3 Aprilie 2009


A man is walking along a cliff and all of a sudden loses his balance, slips, and falls off. Fortunately, he has the presence of mind to grab on to the edge, and he's hanging there for dear life. He hangs and hangs an finally yells out: "Is there anybody up there who can help me?"
There's no answer.
He keeps calling and calling. "Is there anybody up there who can help me?".
Finally this big ... citeste tot

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 20 August 2007


I'm sorry that you haven't gotten much email from me lately. It's because I'm tired. For a couple years I've been blaming it on iron poor blood, lack of vitamins, dieting and a dozen other maladies. But now I found out the real reason. I'm tired because I'm overworked.
The population of this country is 237 million. 104 million are retired. That leaves 133 million to ... citeste tot

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 18 Octombrie 2004


Two guys walk into a bar, separately, and have a seat at the bar.

One guy notices the other has a black eye, just like him.

“Hey buddy, how’d you get your shiner?”

“Well, I was at the train station, and the ticket girl was veeery hot. And instead of two tickets to Pittsburg, I slipped and said ‘two PICKets to TITTsburg’ and she hit me square in the ... citeste tot

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Duminica, 24 August 2008


WIFE VS. HUSBAND
A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word.
An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position..
As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, 'Relatives of yours?'
'Yep,' the wife replied, 'in-laws.' ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Duminica, 30 Mai 2010


I was having trouble with my computer. So I called Harold, the computer guy, to come over. Harold clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem. He gave me a bill for a minimum service call.
As he was walking away, I called after him, "So, what was wrong?"
He replied, "It was an 'ID ten T' error."
I didn't want to appear stupid, but I nonetheless inquired, "An ID ten T Error? What's that, ... citeste tot

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 4 Iunie 2007


Marriage is the only war where you get to sleep with the enemy. ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 18 Octombrie 2004


What do you get if you cross an insomniac, an agnostic, and a dyslexic?
Someone who stays awake at night wondering if there really is a dog. ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 17 August 2007


A man is dying of Cancer. His son asked him, "Dad, why do you keep telling people you're dying of AIDS?"
Answer: "So when I'm dead no one will dare touch your mom!" ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 5 Octombrie 2006