FINAL EXAM The student reports for his university final examination that consists of yes/no type questions. He takes his seat...

Banc din categoria: Bancuri in Engleza (English)

propus: 31 Aug 2004

FINAL EXAM

The student reports for his university final examination that consists of yes/no type questions. He takes his seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes and then, in a fit of inspiration, takes out a coin and starts tossing it, marking the answer sheet: Yes, for Heads, and! No, for Tails. Within half an hour he is all done, whereas the rest of the class is still sweating it out.

During the last few minutes he is seen desperately throwing the coin, muttering and sweating. The moderator, alarmed, approaches him and asks what is going on. "I finished the exam in half an hour, but now I'm rechecking my answers."

3 Little Pigs - The Untold Story This is classic - a true story, proving how fascinating is the mind of a six year old. They think so logically. A teacher was reading the story of [...]
banc precedent A young husband comes home one night, and his wife throws her arms around his neck: Darling, I have great news: I'm a month overdue. I think we're going to have a baby! The doctor gave me a [...]
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At a cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?" "Yes, I am. I married the wrong man." ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 6 Octombrie 2006


- 25th Wedding Anniversary - At the banquet of Tom and Susan's 25th wedding anniversary, Tom was asked to give his friends a brief account of the benefits of a marriage of such long duration. - Tell us, Tom, just what is it you have learned from all those wonderful years with your wife? Tom responded: - Well, I've learned that marriage is the best teacher of all. It teaches you loyalty, ... citește tot

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 21 Iunie 2007


Two women came before wise King Solomon, dragging between them a young man in a three-piece suit. "This young lawyer agreed to marry my daughter," said one. "No! He agreed to marry MY daughter," said the other. And so they haggled before the king until he called for silence. "Bring me my biggest sword," said Solomon, "and I shall hew the young attorney in half. Each of you shall receive a ... citește tot

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marți, 17 Octombrie 2006


I recall a time when my son was about 18 months old. I had him strapped into a backpack and was rushing to catch the bus. Apparently I mis-stepped and fell down an entire flight of stairs (13 to be exact). I was bruised and bleeding and had torn my jeans ... but my main concern was, naturally, for my child. My fears were alleviated, though, when from behind me I heard a gleeful giggle followed ... citește tot

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 13 August 2008


Two lawyers arrive at the pub and ordered a couple of drinks. They then take sandwiches from their briefcases and began to eat. Seeing this, the angry publican approaches them and says, 'Excuse me, but you cannot eat your own sandwiches in here!' The two look at each other, shrug and exchange sandwiches. ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 8 Iunie 2011


A dog looks at its owner and thinks: "You feed me, care for me, and love me...you must be a god!" A cat looks at its owner and thinks: "You feed me, care for me, and love me...I must be a god!" ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 17 August 2005


An eighteen-year-old girl tells her Mom that she has missed her period for two months. Very worried, the mother goes to the drugstore and buys a pregnancy kit. The test result shows that the girl is pregnant. Shouting, crying, the mother says, "Who did this to you? I want to know!" The girl picks up the phone and makes a call. Half an hour later a Ferrari stops in front of their house; a mature ... citește tot

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 18 Octombrie 2004


Man: God? God: Yes!? Man: Can I ask you something? God: Yes. Man: What is for you a million of years? God: A second. Man: And a million of dollars? God: A penny. Man: God, Can you give me a penny? God: Wait a second! ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 27 Octombrie 2005


I am not sure exactly how this works, but this is amazingly accurate. The picture below has two identical dolphins in it. It was used in a case study on stress levels at the Mayo Clinic and later at ...I am not sure exactly how this works, but this is amazingly accurate. The picture below has two identical dolphins in it. It was used in a case study on stress levels at the Mayo Clinic and later at Fletcher Medical Center in Burlington. Look at both dolphins jumping out of the water. The dolphins are identical. A closely monitored, scientific study revealed that, in spite of the fact that the ... citește tot

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marți, 25 Martie 2008


My sister, a truck driver, had decided to get a dog for protection. As she inspected a likely candidate, the trainer told her, "He doesn't like men." Perfect, my sister thought, and took the dog. Then one day, two men in a parking lot approached her, and she watched to see how her canine bodyguard would react. Soon it became clear that the trainer wasn't kidding. As the men got closer, the dog ... citește tot

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 13 Iunie 2007


The man told his doctor that he wasn't able to do all the things around the house that he used to do. When the examination was complete, he said: - Now, Doc, I can take it. Tell me in plain English what is wrong with me. - Well, in plain English, the doctor replied, you're just lazy. - Okay, said the man. Now give me the medical term so I can tell my wife. ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 2 Iunie 2011


A Polish man moved to the USA and married an American girl. Although his English was far from perfect, they got along very well until one day he rushed into a lawyer's office and asked him if he could arrange a divorce for him. The lawyer said that getting a divorce would depend on the circumstances, and asked him the following questions: - Have you any grounds? - Yes, an acre and half and nice ... citește tot

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marți, 16 Ianuarie 2007


WORDS A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day: 30,000 to a man's 15,000. The wife replied, 'The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men... The husband then turned to his wife and asked, 'What?' ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Duminică, 30 Mai 2010


A soldier stationed in Iraq recently received a "Dear John" letter from his girlfriend back home. It read as follows: Dear Ricky, I can no longer continue our relationship. The distance between us is just too great. I must admit that I have cheated on you twice, since you've been gone, and it's not fair to either of us. I'm sorry. Please return the picture of me that I sent to ... citește tot

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 10 Iunie 2005


A guy joins a monastery and takes a vow of silence: he is allowed to say two words every seven years. After the first seven years, the elders bring him in and ask for his two words. "Cold floors," he says. They nod and send him away. Seven more years pass. They bring him back in and ask for his two words. He clears his throats and says, "Bad food." They nod and send him away. Seven more years ... citește tot

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 2 Februarie 2006