FINAL EXAM The blonde reports for her university final examination that consists of yes/no type questions. She takes her seat...
propus: 31 Aug 2004
FINAL EXAM 3 Little Pigs - The Untold Story This is classic - a true story, proving how fascinating is the mind of a six year old. They think so logically. A teacher was reading the story of [...]
The blonde reports
for her university final examination
that consists of yes/no type questions.
She takes her seat in the examination
hall, stares at the question paper for
five minutes and then, in a fit of
inspiration, takes out her purse,
removes a coin and starts tossing the
coin, marking the answer sheet: Yes, for
Heads, and! No, for Tails. Within half
an hour she is all done, whereas the
rest of the class is still sweating it
During the last few
minutes she is seen desperately throwing
the coin, muttering and sweating. The
moderator, alarmed, approaches her and
asks what is going on. "I finished the
exam in half an hour, but now I'm
rechecking my answers."
banc precedent An American tourist in London found himself needing to take a leak, something terrible. After a long search he just couldn't find any public bathroom to relieve himself. So he went down one of the [...]
There is this good old barber in one
city in the US.
- One day a florist
goes to him for a haircut. After the
cut, he goes to pay the barber and the
barber replies: "I am sorry. I cannot
accept money from you. I am doing
community service." The Florist is happy
and leaves the shop. The next morning
when the barber goes to open his shop,
there is a thank you card and a dozen
roses waiting at his ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 9 Februarie 2006
News from Apple
announced today that is has developed a
computer chip that can store and play
music in women's breast implants.
The iBoob will cost between $499 and
This is considered to be
a major breakthrough, because women are
always complaining about men staring at
their breasts and not listening to them.
Thank to Apple, everyone is now
happy. ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 28 Noiembrie 2007
One spelling mistake can destroy your
A husband wrote a message to
his wife on his business trip and forgot
add 'e' at the end of a word...
"I am having such a wonderful time!
I wish you were her..." ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 7 Aprilie 2011
Manning the computer help desk for the
local school district was my first job.
And though I was just an intern, I took
the job very seriously. But not every
caller took me seriously.
- Can I
talk to a real person? a caller asked.
- I am real, I said.
- Oh, I'm
sorry, the caller said. That was rude of
me. What I meant to say was, could I
talk to someone who actually knows
something? ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 14 Martie 2008
1. Enter any
11-digit prime number to continue.
2. Press any key to continue or any
other key to quit.
3. Bad command or
file name! Go stand in the corner.
4. This will end your Windows
session. Do you want to play another
5. Windows message: "Error
saving file! Format drive now? (Y/Y)"
6. To "shut down" your system, type
7. BREAKFAST.SYS halted...
Cereal port ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 10 Noiembrie 2004
Our pastor, an avid golfer, was once
taking part in a local tournament. As he
was preparing to tee off, the organizer
of the tournament approached him and
pointed to the dark, threatening storm
clouds that were gathering.
"Preacher," the organizer said, "I
trust you'll see to it that the weather
won't turn bad on us."
shook his head. "Sorry," he replied.
"I'm sales, not management!" ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 29 Octombrie 2008
1. The sport of choice for the urban
poor is BASKETBALL.
2. The sport of
choice for maintenance level employees
3. The sport of choice
for front-line workers is FOOTBALL.
4. The sport of choice for
supervisors is BASEBALL.
sport of choice for middle management is
6. The sport of choice for
corporate officers is GOLF.
you are in ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 18 Octombrie 2004
Hung Chow calls work and says:
Hey, boss I no come work today, I really
sick. I got headache, stomach ache and
my legs hurt, I no come work.
- You know Hung Chow, I
really need you today. When I feel like
that I go to my wife and tell her to
sing for me. That makes everything
better and I go work. You try that.
Two hours later Hung Chow calls
- Boss, I do what you say ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 16 Martie 2005
There were 3 good arguments that Jesus
1. He called everyone
2. He liked Gospel.
He couldn't get a fair trial.
But then there were 3 equally good
arguments that Jesus was Jewish:
He went into His Father's business.
2. He lived at home until he was 33.
3. He was sure his Mother was a
virgin and his mother was sure he was
But then there
were 3 ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 20 Octombrie 2005
A baby polar bear comes up to his mother
and asks, "Momma, am I a polar bear?"
"Why, yes, son, of course you are a
polar bear," she replies, sending him
out to play.
later, he returns. "Momma, are you
absolutely sure I am a polar bear?"
"Yes, son, absolutely sure. Now go
later, he returns asking, "Momma, you're
sure I'm 100% polar bear?"
"Yes, ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 13 August 2008
Headlines from the year 2029:
Ozone created by electric cars now
killing millions in the seventh largest
country in the world, Mexifornia,
formerly known as California. White
minorities still trying to have English
recognized as Mexifornia's third
Spotted Owl plague
threatens northwestern United States
crops and livestock.
conceived naturally. Scientists stumped.
Couple ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 2 Martie 2006
The truth about working in the IT
1. We work weird
2. They pay you to
make the client happy...
client pays a lot of money, but your
employer keeps almost every penny...
4. You are rewarded for fulfilling
the client's dreams...
friends fall apart and you end up
hanging out with people in the same
profession as you...
6. When you
have to meet the ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 27 Noiembrie 2006
A father was trying to teach his young
son the evils of alcohol.
put one worm in a glass of water and
another worm in a glass of
The worm in the water lived, while the
one in the whiskey
curled up and
"All right, son," asked
the father, "what does that show you?"
"Well, Dad, it shows that if
you drink alcohol, you will not have
worms." ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 18 August 2008