3 Little Pigs - The Untold Story This is classic - a true story, proving how fascinating is the mind of a six year old. They...
propus: 31 Aug 2004
Answering Machine at the Mental
Hospital:
Hello, and welcome to
the mental health hospital.
-If
you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1
repeatedly.
-If you are
co-dependent, please ask someone to
press 2 for you.
-If you have
multiple personalities, press 3,4,5 and
6.
-If you are paranoid, we
know who you are and what you want. Stay
on the line so we can trace your call.
-If you
... citeste tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 18 Octombrie 2004
Explicatii de dat atunci cand nu va merg
aplicatiile si programele.
COUNT DOWN......
20.
"That's weird..."
19. "It's never
done that before."
18. "It worked
yesterday."
17. "How is that
possible?"
16. "It must be a
hardware problem."
15. "What did you
type in wrong to get it to crash?"
14. "There is something funky in
your data."
13. "I haven't touched
that module in weeks!"
12.
... citeste tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 28 Noiembrie 2006
Bill and Diane were in a terrible
accident and Diane's face was
severely burned.
The doctor
told Bill that they couldn't graft
any skin from her body because she was
too skinny.
So Bill offered to
donate some of his own skin. However,
the only skin on his body that the
doctor felt was suitable would have to
come from his buttocks.
The
husband and wife agreed that they would
... citeste tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 31 August 2004
A dog looks at its owner and thinks:
"You feed me, care for me, and love
me...you must be a god!"
A cat looks
at its owner and thinks: "You feed me,
care for me, and love me...I must be a
god!"
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 17 August 2005
Recently while going through an airport
during one of his many trips, President
Bush encountered a man with long hair,
wearing a white robe, and sandals,
holding a staff.
President
Bush went up to the man and said,
"Aren't you Moses?" The man never
answered but just kept staring straight
ahead. Again the President said,
"Moses!" in a loud voice. The man just
kept staring ahead, never
... citeste tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 5 Aprilie 2005
George Bush is visiting the Queen of
England. He asks her, "Your Majesty, how
do you run such an efficient government?
Are there any tips you can give me?"
"Well," says the Queen, "the
most important thing is to surround
yourself with intelligent people.
"Bush frowns. "But how do I know the
people around me are really
intelligent?"
The Queen takes a
sip of tea. "Oh, that's easy. You just
... citeste tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 14 Iulie 2006
One spelling mistake can destroy your
life!
A husband wrote a message to
his wife on his business trip and forgot
to
add 'e' at the end of a word...
"I am having such a wonderful time!
I wish you were her..."
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 7 Aprilie 2011
A husband, the owner of a new car, was
somewhat reluctant to allow his wife to
drive his prize possession, even to the
grocery store, which was a few blocks
from the house.
After she insisted,
he finally relented, cautioning her as
she departed, "Remember, if you have an
accident, the newspaper will print your
age."
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 25 Septembrie 2008
Each Friday night after work, Bubba
would fire up his outdoor grill and cook
venison steak. But all of Bubba's
neighbors were Catholic, and since it
was Lent, they were forbidden from
eating red meat on Friday.
The
delicious aroma from the grilled venison
steaks was causing such a problem for
the Catholic faithful that they finally
talked to their priest.
The priest
came to visit Bubba and
... citeste tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 8 Martie 2007
A man called home to his wife and said,
"Honey I have been asked to go
fishing up in Canada with my boss &
several of his friends. We'll be
gone for a week. This is a good
opportunity for me to get that promotion
I've been wanting so could you
please pack enough clothes for a week
and set out my rod and fishing box?
We're leaving from the office & I
will swing by the house to pick
... citeste tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 18 Octombrie 2004
TEACHER: George Washington not only
chopped down his father's cherry tree,
but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you
know why his father didn't punish him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the
axe in his hand.
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 1 Mai 2009
On a flight to Chicago, a gentleman had
made several attempts to get into the
men's restroom, but it had always
been occupied. The flight attendant
noticed his predicament. "Sir, she said,
"You may use the ladies room if you
promise not to touch any of the buttons
on the wall."
He did what he
needed to, and as he sat there he
noticed the Buttons he had promised not
to touch. Each button
... citeste tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 15 Septembrie 2004
A statistician, who refused to fly after
reading of the alarmingly high
probability that there will be a bomb on
any given plane, realized that the
probability of there being two bombs on
any given flight is very low. Now,
whenever he flies, he carries a bomb
with him.
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 7 Februarie 2006
Depression in the age of global
outsourcing: I was feeling depressed the
other day, so I called LifeLine. They
had recently outsourced, so I was put
through to their new Call Center in
Pakistan.
I explained that I was
feeling suicidal. They were very excited
to hear this and wanted to know if I
could drive a truck or fly an
airplane....
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 12 Noiembrie 2007