3 Little Pigs - The Untold Story This is classic - a true story, proving how fascinating is the mind of a six year old. They...
propus: 31 Aug 2004
A woman in our diet club was lamenting
that she had gained weight. She'd made
her family's favorite cake over the
weekend, she reported, and they'd eaten
half of it at dinner.
The next
day, she said, she kept staring at the
other half, until finally she cut a thin
slice for herself. One slice led to
another, and soon the whole cake was
gone.
The woman went on to tell
us how upset she was
... citeste tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 2 Octombrie 2006
A psychiatrist was conducting a group
therapy session with four young mothers
and their small children...
- You
all have obsessions, he observed.
To
the first mother, Mary, he said:
-
You are obsessed with eating. You've
even named your daughter Candy.
He
turned to the second Mom, Ann:
-
Your obsession is money. Again, it
manifests itself in your child's name,
Penny.
He turns to the third
... citeste tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 17 Ianuarie 2007
There were 3 good arguments that Jesus
was Black:
1. He called everyone
brother.
2. He liked Gospel.
3.
He couldn't get a fair trial.
But then there were 3 equally good
arguments that Jesus was Jewish:
1.
He went into His Father's business.
2. He lived at home until he was 33.
3. He was sure his Mother was a
virgin and his mother was sure he was
God.
But then there
were 3
... citeste tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 20 Octombrie 2005
The Liverpool manager flies to Baghdad
to watch a young iraqi play football and
is suitably impressed and arranges him
to come over to Anfield.
Two
weeks later Liverpool are 4-0 down to
Man Utd with only 20 minutes left. The
manager gives the young Iraqi striker
the nod and on he goes.
The lad
is a sensation, scores 5 in 20 minutes
and wins the game for Liverpool.
The fans are delighted,
... citeste tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 13 Februarie 2006
When the new patient was settled
comfortably on the couch, the
psychiatrist began his therapy session.
"I'm not aware of your problem," the
doctor said. "So perhaps, you should
start at the very beginning."
"Of
course," replied the patient. "In the
beginning, I created the heavens and the
earth..."
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 19 Iulie 2007
A ragged individual stranded for several
months on a small desert island in the
middle of the Pacific Ocean noticed a
bottle lying in the sand with a piece of
paper in it. Rushing to the bottle, he
pulled out the cork and with shaking
hands withdrew the message.
"Due to
lack of maintenance," he read, "we
regretfully have found it necessary to
cancel your e-mail account."
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 23 Mai 2007
A middle-aged couple had two beautiful
daughters but always talked about having
a son. They decided to try one last time
for the son they always wanted.
The
wife got pregnant and delivered a
healthy baby boy. The joyful father
rushed to the nursery to see his new
son. He was horrified at the ugliest
child he had ever seen.
He told his
wife:
'There's no way I can be the
father of this baby.
... citeste tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 3 Iunie 2008
A clergyman, walking down a country
lane, saw a young farmer struggling to
load hay back onto a cart after it had
fallen off.
- You look tired, my
son, said the cleric. Why don't you rest
a moment, and I'll give you a hand.
- No thanks, said the young man. My
father wouldn't approve.
- Don't be
silly, the minister said. Everyone is
entitled to a break. Come and have a
drink of water.
Again
... citeste tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 3 Mai 2007
A man is waiting in line for a hit
movie. Behind him are two women. The
usher comes along and says that he has
two seats together. Seeing the problem,
the usher says to the man, "Let them go
first. You wouldn't want to separate a
woman from her mother, would you?"
The man says, "No, sir. I did that
once, and I've been sorry ever since."
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 1 Aprilie 2008
Stephen Spielberg is casting for a new
film based around the great composers.
Anyway to give the film a twist and some
"oomph" he decides to cast the parts to
the great action heroes of today. He
calls Stallone, Arnie, Bruce Willis and
Seagal into his office to hear who they
would like to play.
- Well, started
Stallone, I've always admired Mozart. I
would love to play him.
- Chopin has
always
... citeste tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 23 Noiembrie 2005
A Sunday school teacher was telling her
class the story of the Good Samaritan,
in which a man was beaten, robbed, and
left for dead. She described the
situation in vivid detail so her
students would catch the drama. Then she
asked the class, "If you saw a person
lying on the roadside, all wounded and
bleeding, what would you do?"
A
thoughtful little girl broke the hushed
silence, "I think I'd
... citeste tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 2 Mai 2007
- Pythagorean theorem: 24 words.
-
The Lord's Prayer: 66 words.
-
Archimedes' Principle: 67 words.
-
The 10 Commandments: 179 words.
-
The Gettysburg address: 286 words.
-
The Declaration of Independence: 1,300
words.
- - - The US Government
regulations on the sale of cabbage:
26,911 words!!! - - -
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 10 Aprilie 2007
A US Navy Admiral was attending a naval
conference that included 20 Admirals
from the US, English, Canadian,
Australian and French Navies.
At a
reception, he found himself standing
with a huge group of officers that
included personnel from most of the
countries.
Everyone was chatting
away in English as they sipped their
drinks, but a French admiral suddenly
complained that, whereas Europeans
... citeste tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 4 Iulie 2007
Depression in the age of global
outsourcing: I was feeling depressed the
other day, so I called LifeLine. They
had recently outsourced, so I was put
through to their new Call Center in
Pakistan.
I explained that I was
feeling suicidal. They were very excited
to hear this and wanted to know if I
could drive a truck or fly an
airplane....
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 12 Noiembrie 2007