3 Little Pigs - The Untold Story This is classic - a true story, proving how fascinating is the mind of a six year old. They...
propus: 31 Aug 2004
You Know You Have a Bad Computer When...
10. The lower corner of screen has
the words "Etch A Sketch" on it.
9.
When you insert a disk, it spits out a
pack of cigarettes.
8. You have to
pedal it.
7. The manual contains one
sentence: "Good luck!"
6. The only
chip inside came from a bag of Doritos.
5. When you turn it on, the dogs in
the neighborhood start howling.
4.
You catch a virus from
... citeste tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 20 August 2007
A truck driver had to deliver five
hundred penguins to the state zoo. As he
was driving his truck through the
desert, the truck broke down.
After waiting by the side of the
road for about three hours, he waved
another truck down and offered the
driver $500 to take the penguins to the
state zoo for him.
The next
day, the first truck driver arrived in
town and saw the second truck driver
... citeste tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 3 Decembrie 2007
Queen Elizabeth II, George W Bush &
Traian Basescu died & went straight to
hell.
Queen Elizabeth II said
"I miss Britain, I want to call Britain
and see how everybody is doing there.
She called and talked for about 5
minutes, then her Majesty asked "Well,
Devil how much do I owe you? The devil
replied "Five million dollars" She wrote
him a cheque and went to sit back on her
chair.
George
... citeste tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 27 Octombrie 2006
Jack and Max are walking from religious
service. Jack wonders whether it would
be all right to smoke while praying. Max
replies, "Why don't you ask the
Priest?" So Jack goes up to the Priest
and asks, "Priest, may I smoke while I
pray?"
But the Priest says,
"No, my son, you may not. That's
utter disrespect to our religion."
Jack goes back to his friend and
tells him what the good
... citeste tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 1 Septembrie 2004
All eyes were on the radiant bride as
her father escorted her down the aisle.
They reached the altar and the waiting
groom; the bride kissed her father and
placed something in his hand. The guests
in the front pews, and the minister,
responded with ripples of laughter. As
her father gave her away in marriage,
the bride had given him back his credit
card.
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 28 Noiembrie 2006
A man called 911 and said, "Someone come
quick! My wife fell asleep on the couch
with her mouth open and a mouse ran down
her throat!"
The operator
replied, "Calm down, sir. Wave a piece
of cheese over her mouth and maybe the
mouse will come out. An ambulance is on
the way."
When the ambulance
arrived, the EMT found the man waving a
fish over his wife's mouth.
"What on earth are you
... citeste tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 13 August 2008
A guy joins a monastery and takes a vow
of silence: he is allowed to say two
words every seven years.
After the
first seven years, the elders bring him
in and ask for his two words. "Cold
floors," he says. They nod and send him
away.
Seven more years pass. They
bring him back in and ask for his two
words. He clears his throats and says,
"Bad food." They nod and send him away.
Seven more years
... citeste tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 2 Februarie 2006
News from Apple
Apple Computers
announced today that is has developed a
computer chip that can store and play
music in women's breast implants.
The iBoob will cost between $499 and
$599.
This is considered to be
a major breakthrough, because women are
always complaining about men staring at
their breasts and not listening to them.
Thank to Apple, everyone is now
happy.
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 28 Noiembrie 2007
Statement: Senior Citizens Are Valuable!
We are more valuable than any of the
younger generations:
- We have
silver in our hair.
- We have gold
in our teeth.
- We have stones in
our kidneys.
- We have lead in our
feet and.
- We are loaded with
natural gas
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 26 Februarie 2008
A new missionary recruit went to
Venezuela for the first time. He was
struggling with the language and didn't
understand a whole lot of what was going
on. Intending to visit one of the local
churches, he got lost, but he eventually
got back on track and found the place.
Having arrived late, the church was
already packed. The only pew left was
the one on the front row.
So as
not to make a fool
... citeste tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 21 Februarie 2007
I am rejecting your rejection
Dear Sir / Madam
Thank you for
your letter of 4 September 2003. After
careful consideration I regret to inform
you that I am unable to accept your
refusal to offer me employment with your
company. This year I have been
particularly fortunate in receiving an
unusually large number of rejection
letters. With such a varied and
promising field of candidates it is
... citeste tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 8 Martie 2005
There is more money being spent on
breast implants and Viagra today than on
Alzheimer's research. This means that by
2040, there should be a large elderly
population with perky boobs and huge
erections and absolutely no recollection
of what to do with them.
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 23 Februarie 2007
21st CENTURY LIFELESSNESS...
Our communication - Wireless
Our
telephone - Cordless
Our cooking -
Fireless
Our youth - Jobless
Our
religion - Creedless
Our food -
Fatless
Our faith - Godless
Our
labor - Effortless
Our conduct -
Worthless
Our relation - Loveless
Our attitude - Careless
Our
feelings - Heartless
Our politics -
Shameless
Our education - Valueless
Our Follies -
... citeste tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 20 Iulie 2005
One spelling mistake can destroy your
life!
A husband wrote a message to
his wife on his business trip and forgot
to
add 'e' at the end of a word...
"I am having such a wonderful time!
I wish you were her..."
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 7 Aprilie 2011