Subject on a math test... Solve the problem: find x on the triangle. Answer: see for yourself!!
propus: 3 Oct 2005
Basic philosophy in BIG 4:
- Ernst &
Young = Dead & Young
PriceWaterhouseCoopers = Prices are
everything, no water, no house, cope
with us, cause we don’t care!!!
KPMG = Kill People More Gently
Deloitte & Touche = Delighted to kill
our employees. Touchė!!! ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 27 Aprilie 2007
Each Friday night after work, Bubba
would fire up his outdoor grill and cook
venison steak. But all of Bubba's
neighbors were Catholic, and since it
was Lent, they were forbidden from
eating red meat on Friday.
delicious aroma from the grilled venison
steaks was causing such a problem for
the Catholic faithful that they finally
talked to their priest.
came to visit Bubba and ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 8 Martie 2007
Stephen Spielberg is casting for a new
film based around the great composers.
Anyway to give the film a twist and some
"oomph" he decides to cast the parts to
the great action heroes of today. He
calls Stallone, Arnie, Bruce Willis and
Seagal into his office to hear who they
would like to play.
- Well, started
Stallone, I've always admired Mozart. I
would love to play him.
- Chopin has
always ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 23 Noiembrie 2005
A man drinks a shot of whisky every
night before bed. After years of this,
his wife wants him to quit; she gets two
shot glasses, filling one with water and
the other with whisky.
him to the table that has the glasses,
she brings his bait box. She says, "I
want you to see this." She puts a worm
in the water, and it swims around.
She puts a worm in the whisky, and
the worm dies ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 8 Decembrie 2006
Two cows are conversing in a field. The
first one says to the other, "Have you
heard about this 'mad cow disease' that
is going around?"
The second cow
responds, "Yeah, but I'm not worried
about it; I'm an airplane!" ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 23 Iulie 2008
Two mothers are having a conversation
about their children one day.
do you get your Marvin up so early on
school mornings? asks Joan.
that's easy, replies Marianne. I just
throw the cat on his bed.
- Why does
that wake him up?
- He sleeps with
the dog! ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 13 Martie 2008
This is an actual job application that a
75 year old senior citizen submitted to
Walmart in Arkansas. They hired him
because he was so funny.
- - - - - -
- - - - -
NAME: Kenneth Way (Grumpy
SEX: Not lately, but I am
looking for the right woman (or at least
one who will cooperate)
POSITION: Company's President or Vice
President. But seriously, whatever's
available. If I was in ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 21 Noiembrie 2006
TEACHER: George Washington not only
chopped down his father's cherry tree,
but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you
know why his father didn't punish him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the
axe in his hand. ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 1 Mai 2009
"Davey, what sound does a cow make?"
Davey replied, "It goes 'moo.'"
"Alice, what sound does a cat make?"
Alice said, "It goes 'meow.'"
"Jamie, what sound does a lamb
Jamie said, "It goes 'baaa.'"
"Jennifer, what sound does a
Jennifer paused, and
said, "Uhh. .. it goes. .. 'click!'" ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 14 August 2007
Donald Rumsfeld is giving the president
Bush his daily briefing. He concludes by
- Yesterday, 3 Brazilian
soldiers were killed.
- OH NO!, the
president exclaims. That's terrible!
His staff sits stunned at this
display of emotion, nervously watching
as the president sits, head in hands.
Finally, president looks up and
- How many is a brazillion? ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 11 Octombrie 2005
A young man married a beautiful woman
who had previously divorced ten
husbands. She told her new husband,
"Please be gentle with me, as for me
it's the first time."
the puzzled groom. "How can that be if
you've been married ten times?"
"Well, husband #1 was a Sales
Representative; he kept telling me how
great it was going to be."
#2 was in Software Services; he was
never ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 2 August 2006
A new missionary recruit went to
Venezuela for the first time. He was
struggling with the language and didn't
understand a whole lot of what was going
on. Intending to visit one of the local
churches, he got lost, but he eventually
got back on track and found the place.
Having arrived late, the church was
already packed. The only pew left was
the one on the front row.
not to make a fool ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 21 Februarie 2007