A husband and his wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th wedding anniversary. The husband yells, When you die, I'm...
propus: 9 Iun 2005
TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence
starting with 'I.'
MILLIE: I is..
TEACHER: No, Millie..... Always say,
MILLIE: All right... 'I am
the ninth letter of the alphabet.' ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 26 Noiembrie 2008
The orthopedic surgeon I work for was
moving to a new office, and his staff
was helping transport many of the items.
I sat the display skeleton in
the front of my car, his bony arm across
the back of my seat. I hadn't considered
the drive across town. At one traffic
light, the stares of the people in the
car beside me became obvious, and I
looked across and explained, "I'm
delivering him to my ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 31 Octombrie 2006
A man is dying of Cancer. His son asked
him, "Dad, why do you keep telling
people you're dying of AIDS?"
Answer: "So when I'm dead no one
will dare touch your mom!" ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 5 Octombrie 2006
My grandmother is a computer geek. She
also has trouble remembering quickly
sometimes. One day she couldn't think of
what she wanted to tell us.
explained, "Your grandma is trying to
retrieve the information, but it is
taking awhile. Evidently she hasn't
defragmented her hard drive lately." ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 8 Octombrie 2007
Barbara Walters of 20/20 did a story on
gender roles in Kabul, Afghanistan
several years before the Afghan
conflict. She noted that women
customarily walked about 5 paces
behind their husbands. She returned to
Kabul recently and observed that women
still walk behind their husbands, but
now seem to walk even further back and
are happy with the old custom.
Walters approached one of ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 8 Septembrie 2004
There is this good old barber in one
city in the US.
- One day a florist
goes to him for a haircut. After the
cut, he goes to pay the barber and the
barber replies: "I am sorry. I cannot
accept money from you. I am doing
community service." The Florist is happy
and leaves the shop. The next morning
when the barber goes to open his shop,
there is a thank you card and a dozen
roses waiting at his ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 9 Februarie 2006
Jack, who is a smart businessman, talks
to his son
Jack: I want you to
marry a girl of my choice
will choose my own bride!"
"But the girl is Bill Gates's
Son: "Well, in that
Next Jack approaches
Jack: "I have a husband
for your daughter."
"But my daughter is too young to marry!"
Jack: "But this young man is a ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 29 Septembrie 2005
A guy joins a monastery and takes a vow
of silence: he is allowed to say two
words every seven years.
first seven years, the elders bring him
in and ask for his two words. "Cold
floors," he says. They nod and send him
Seven more years pass. They
bring him back in and ask for his two
words. He clears his throats and says,
"Bad food." They nod and send him away.
Seven more years ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 2 Februarie 2006
Explicatii de dat atunci cand nu va merg
aplicatiile si programele.
19. "It's never
done that before."
18. "It worked
17. "How is that
16. "It must be a
15. "What did you
type in wrong to get it to crash?"
14. "There is something funky in
13. "I haven't touched
that module in weeks!"
12. ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 28 Noiembrie 2006
A statistician, who refused to fly after
reading of the alarmingly high
probability that there will be a bomb on
any given plane, realized that the
probability of there being two bombs on
any given flight is very low. Now,
whenever he flies, he carries a bomb
with him. ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 7 Februarie 2006
Once upon a time there were two
One brother was very
mischievous, always getting into
The other brother,
however, was very good. He was always
kind to animals, helped elderly
neighbors, and led an exemplary life.
As time went on, the brothers
stayed in touch but were never close.
The evil brother became a heavy
drinker and a womanizer.
other brother was a ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 6 Aprilie 2006
The Pentagon announced TODAY the
formation of a new 500-man elite
fighting unit called the United States
Redneck Special Forces (USRSF).
These boys will be dropped off in
Iraq and have been given only the
following facts about terrorists:
The season opened today.
2. There is
3. They taste just like
4. They don't like beer,
pickups, country music or Jesus.
They are ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 13 Martie 2008
WIFE VS. HUSBAND
A couple drove down
a country road for several miles, not
saying a word.
An earlier discussion
had led to an argument and neither of
them wanted to concede their position..
As they passed a barnyard of mules,
goats, and pigs, the husband asked
sarcastically, 'Relatives of yours?'
'Yep,' the wife replied, 'in-laws.' ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Duminica, 30 Mai 2010