I am passing this on to you because it definitely worked for me and we all could use more calm in our lives. By following the...
Banc din categoria: Bancuri in Engleza (English)
propus: 30 Mai 2005
Our five senses are incomplete without the sixth: sense of humor. Anonymous
banc precedent 1. There's always a lot to be thankful for if you take time to look for it. For example, I am sitting here thinking how nice it is that wrinkles don't hurt. 2. The easiest way to [...]
banc urmator
- Comenteaza
- 7.0 din 3 note
An English professor wrote the words :
"A woman without her man is nothing"
on the chalkboard and asked his students to punctuate it correctly.
All of the males in the class wrote:
"A woman, without her man, is nothing."
All the females in the class wrote:
"A woman: without her, man is nothing."
Punctuation is powerful ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 31 August 2004
News from Heaven: Due to the current
financial crisis facing the world at the
moment, the light at the end of the
tunnel will be switched off to save on
electricity costs, until further notice.
Sincerely yours,
God ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 21 Noiembrie 2008
A ragged individual stranded for several months on a small desert island in the middle of the Pacific Ocean noticed a bottle lying in the sand with a piece of paper in it. Rushing to the bottle, he pulled out the cork and with shaking hands withdrew the message.
"Due to lack of maintenance," he read, "we regretfully have found it necessary to cancel your e-mail account." ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 23 Mai 2007
A man called 911 and said, "Someone come quick! My wife fell asleep on the couch with her mouth open and a mouse ran down her throat!"
The operator replied, "Calm down, sir. Wave a piece of cheese over her mouth and maybe the mouse will come out. An ambulance is on the way."
When the ambulance arrived, the EMT found the man waving a fish over his wife's mouth.
"What on earth are you ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 13 August 2008
In order to assure the highest level of
quality work and productivity from
employees it will be our policy to keep
all employees well trained through our
program of SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY
TRAINING (S.H.I.T) ... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 19 Iulie 2007
At a cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?"
"Yes, I am. I married the wrong man." ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 6 Octombrie 2006
This is an actual job application that a 75 year old senior citizen submitted to Walmart in Arkansas. They hired him because he was so funny.
- - - - - - - - - - -
NAME: Kenneth Way (Grumpy Bastard)
SEX: Not lately, but I am looking for the right woman (or at least one who will cooperate)
DESIRED POSITION: Company's President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 21 Noiembrie 2006
An American tourist in London found himself needing to take a leak, something terrible. After a long search he just couldn't find any public bathroom to relieve himself. So he went down one of the side streets to take care of business. Just as he was unzipping, a London police officer showed up.
"Look here, old chap, what are you doing?" the officer asked."
"I'm sorry," the American ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 31 August 2004
Robert went to his lawyer and said:
- I would like to make a will, but I don't know exactly how to go about it.
The lawyer smiled at Robert and replied:
- Not a problem, leave it all to me.
Robert looked somewhat upset and said:
- Well, I knew you were going to take a big portion, but I would like to leave a little to my family too! ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 8 Iunie 2011
Normal people believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it.
Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet. ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 31 Martie 2005
Two cows are conversing in a field. The first one says to the other, "Have you heard about this 'mad cow disease' that is going around?"
The second cow responds, "Yeah, but I'm not worried about it; I'm an airplane!" ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 23 Iulie 2008
Unexpected cold snaps had destroyed the buds on my father's young peach tree for two years in a row. This spring, Dad was ready. He replanted the sapling in a large box, mounted it on wheels, and put the tree in the garage whenever the temperature dropped.
One warm April day, Dad was wheeling the tree out into the yard, and he stopped to give our dog a drink from the garden hose. A neighbor ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 14 Iunie 2007
Sweetheart:
I can't send my salary this month, so I am sending 100 kisses. You are my sweetheart.
Your husband,
Allen
...
His wife replied back after some days to her husband:
Dearest sweetheart,
Thanks for your 100 kisses, I am sending the expenses details:
1. The Milk man agreed on 2 kisses for one month's milk.
2. The electricity man only agreed after 7 kisses.
3. ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 13 Septembrie 2005
TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD: A teacher ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 1 Mai 2009
To do is to be. Socrate
To be is to do. Aristotel
Do be do be do. Sinatra ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 19 Decembrie 2005