I am passing this on to you because it definitely worked for me and we all could use more calm in our lives. By following the...
Banc din categoria: Bancuri in Engleza (English)
propus: 30 Mai 2005
Our five senses are incomplete without the sixth: sense of humor. Anonymous
banc precedent 1. There's always a lot to be thankful for if you take time to look for it. For example, I am sitting here thinking how nice it is that wrinkles don't hurt. 2. The easiest way to [...]
banc urmator
- Comenteaza
- 7.0 din 3 note
Dear God: My prayer for Next Year is for a fat bank account & a thin body.
Please don't mix these up like you did last year.
Thank you so much! Happy New Year! ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 17 Ianuarie 2011
Lucrare: The Dracula is a person bad. He
came from Transilvania. He is a strigoi,
because the Dracula was reancarnation in
a voievod. He came only at night. ... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 19 Decembrie 2006
Donald Rumsfeld is giving the president Bush his daily briefing. He concludes by saying:
- Yesterday, 3 Brazilian soldiers were killed.
- OH NO!, the president exclaims. That's terrible!
His staff sits stunned at this display of emotion, nervously watching as the president sits, head in hands.
Finally, president looks up and asks:
- How many is a brazillion? ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 11 Octombrie 2005
Explicatii de dat atunci cand nu va merg aplicatiile si programele.
COUNT DOWN......
20. "That's weird..."
19. "It's never done that before."
18. "It worked yesterday."
17. "How is that possible?"
16. "It must be a hardware problem."
15. "What did you type in wrong to get it to crash?"
14. "There is something funky in your data."
13. "I haven't touched that module in weeks!"
12. ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 28 Noiembrie 2006
Year 1981 =========
1. Prince Charles got married
2. Liverpool crowned Champions of Europe
3. Pope Died.
Year 2005 =========
1. Prince Charles got married (again)
2. Liverpool crowned Champions of Europe (again)
3. Pope Died.
*** In Future,
if Charles wants to re-marry
or Liverpool needs another crown. .... POOR POPE....!! ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 23 August 2005
A young husband comes home one night, and his wife throws her arms around his neck: "Darling, I have great news: I'm a month overdue. I think we're going to have a baby! The doctor gave me a test today, but until we find out for sure, we can't tell anybody."
The next day, a guy from the electric company rings the door-bell, because the young couple hasn't paid their last bill: ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 31 August 2004
A man is incomplete until he is married. Then he is finished.
Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
When a woman steals your husband, there is no better revenge than to let her keep him. ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 6 Octombrie 2006
A new young bride calls her mother in tears.
She sobs:
- Robert doesn't appreciate what I do for him.
- Now, now,. ..her mother comforted, I am sure it was all just a misunderstanding.
- No, mother, you don't understand. I bought a frozen turkey roll and he yelled and screamed at me about the price!
- Well, the nerve of that lousy cheapskate! says her mom. Those turkey rolls are only ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 12 Aprilie 2005
A couple is lying in bed. The man says: "I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world."
The woman says: "I'll miss you." ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 9 Iunie 2005
Headlines from the year 2029:
Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, Mexifornia, formerly known as California. White minorities still trying to have English recognized as Mexifornia's third language.
Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops and livestock.
Baby conceived naturally. Scientists stumped.
Couple ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 2 Martie 2006
TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find
North America. MARIA: Here it is.
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America?
CLASS: Maria. ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 26 Noiembrie 2008
1. The sport of choice for the urban poor is BASKETBALL.
2. The sport of choice for maintenance level employees is BOWLING.
3. The sport of choice for front-line workers is FOOTBALL.
4. The sport of choice for supervisors is BASEBALL.
5. The sport of choice for middle management is TENNIS.
6. The sport of choice for corporate officers is GOLF.
AMAZING CONCLUSION:
The higher you are in ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 18 Octombrie 2004
A man visited a psychiatrist to talk about his dreams.
"Every night," the man said, "I dream that these three hideous monsters are sitting on the edge of my bed, ready to attack me."
"Hmmm," said the doctor. "I feel sure I can cure you of this problem. But the treatment will cost you somewhere between twenty-five and thirty thousand dollars."
"Thirty thousand dollars!" the man gasped. "Never ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 9 Martie 2007
There is this good old barber in one city in the US.
- One day a florist goes to him for a haircut. After the cut, he goes to pay the barber and the barber replies: "I am sorry. I cannot accept money from you. I am doing community service." The Florist is happy and leaves the shop. The next morning when the barber goes to open his shop, there is a thank you card and a dozen roses waiting at his ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 9 Februarie 2006
THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN
DRUNK: 1. Innovative
2. Preliminary
3. Proliferation
4. Cinnamon
THINGS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
1. Specificity
2. Anti-constitutionalistically
3. Passive-aggressive disorder
4. Tran substantiate
THINGS THAT ARE DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
1. No thanks, I'm married.
2. Nope, no more booze for me!
3. Sorry, but ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 22 Mai 2008