Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love. I never think of the future. It comes soon enough. The only thing...
propus: 12 Apr 2005
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1. Project Manager is a person who
thinks nine women can deliver a baby in
2. Developer is a person
who thinks it will take 18 months to
deliver a baby.
Coordinator is one who thinks a single
woman can deliver nine babies in one
4. Client is the one who
doesn't know why he wants a baby.
5. Marketing Manager is a person who
thinks he can deliver a baby even if ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 11 Aprilie 2005
After buying her kids a pet hamster,
after they PROMISED they would take care
of it, Mom, as usual, ended up with the
exasperated, she asked them, "How many
times do you think that hamster would
have died if I hadn't looked after it?"
After a moment, her youngest son
replied quizzically, "Once?" ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 22 August 2007
A psychiatrist was conducting a group
therapy session with four young mothers
and their small children...
all have obsessions, he observed.
the first mother, Mary, he said:
You are obsessed with eating. You've
even named your daughter Candy.
turned to the second Mom, Ann:
Your obsession is money. Again, it
manifests itself in your child's name,
He turns to the third ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 17 Ianuarie 2007
As the holidays approach, my heartfelt
appreciation goes out to all of you who
have taken the time and trouble to send
me forwards over the past 12 months.
Thank you for making me feel safe,
secure, blessed, and wealthy.
Extra thanks to whoever sent me the
one about rat crap in the glue on
envelopes 'cause I now have to go get a
wet towel every time I need to seal an
Also, I scrub ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 19 Decembrie 2005
Jack, who is a smart businessman, talks
to his son
Jack: I want you to
marry a girl of my choice
will choose my own bride!"
"But the girl is Bill Gates's
Son: "Well, in that
Next Jack approaches
Jack: "I have a husband
for your daughter."
"But my daughter is too young to marry!"
Jack: "But this young man is a ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 29 Septembrie 2005
Have you heard of the Air Force's
ultra-high-security, super-secret base
in Nevada, known simply as "Area 51"?
Well, late one afternoon, the
Air Force folks out at Area 51 were very
surprised to see a Cessna landing at
their "secret" base. They immediately
impounded the aircraft and hauled the
pilot into an interrogation room.
The pilot's story was that he took
off from Las Vegas, got lost, ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 10 Decembrie 2007
I am passing this on to you because it
definitely worked for me and we all
could use more calm in our lives. By
following the simple advice I heard on a
Dr. Phil show, I have finally found
inner peace. Dr. Phil proclaimed, "The
way to achieve inner peace is to finish
all the things you've started." So I
looked around my house to see all the
things I started and hadn't
finished, and before ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 30 Mai 2005
A boy who was a witness to a crime was
called to testify in court. He was
approached by the defense attorney who
asked, "Did anyone tell you what to say
"Yes, sir," answered the
"I thought so," said the
attorney. "Who was it?"
"And what did he tell you?"
the attorney asked accusingly.
said that the lawyers would try to get
me all tangled up, but if I ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 13 Noiembrie 2006
You are driving along in your car on a
wild, stormy night. You pass by a bus
stop, and you see three people waiting
for the bus:
1. An old lady who
looks as if she is about to die.
An old friend who once saved your life.
3. The perfect man (or) woman you
have been dreaming about.
would you choose to offer a ride to,
knowing that there could only be one
passenger in your car. ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 16 Mai 2005
A young husband comes home one night,
and his wife throws her arms around his
neck: "Darling, I have great news:
I'm a month overdue. I think
we're going to have a baby! The
doctor gave me a test today, but until
we find out for sure, we can't tell
The next day, a guy
from the electric company rings the
door-bell, because the young couple
hasn't paid their last bill: ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 31 August 2004
A real estate agent had just closed his
first deal, only to discover that the
piece of land he had sold was completely
going to come back here pretty mad," he
said to his boss. "Should I give him his
roared the boss. "What kind of salesman
are you? Get out there and sell him a
houseboat!" ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 2 Noiembrie 2006
Depression in the age of global
outsourcing: I was feeling depressed the
other day, so I called LifeLine. They
had recently outsourced, so I was put
through to their new Call Center in
I explained that I was
feeling suicidal. They were very excited
to hear this and wanted to know if I
could drive a truck or fly an
airplane.... ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 12 Noiembrie 2007