1. Project Manager is a person who thinks nine women can deliver a baby in one month. 2. Developer is a person who thinks it...
propus: 11 Apr 2005
- Bless me Father, for I have sinned
with a woman.
The priest asks, "Is
that you, little Johnny Parisi?"
-
Yes, Father, it is.
- And who was
the woman you were with?
- I can't
tell you, Father. I don't want to ruin
her reputation.
- Well, Johnny, I'm
sure to find out her name sooner or
later, so you may as well tell me now.
Was it Tina Minetti?
- I cannot say.
- Was it Teresa Volpe?
-
... citeste tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 6 Octombrie 2006
A guy dies and is sent to Hell. Satan
meets him, shows him doors to three
rooms, and says he must choose one spend
eternity in.
In the first room,
people are standing in shit up to their
necks. The guy says "no, let me see the
next room."
In the second room,
people are standing with shit up to
their noses. Guy says no again.
Finally, Satan opens the door to the
third room. People are standing
... citeste tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 2 Februarie 2006
A man is incomplete until he is married.
Then he is finished.
Marriage
is the triumph of imagination over
intelligence.
When a woman
steals your husband, there is no better
revenge than to let her keep him.
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 6 Octombrie 2006
An engineer was crossing a road one-day
when a frog called out to him and said:
- If you kiss me, I'll turn into
a beautiful princess.
He bent over,
picked up the frog and put it in his
pocket.
The frog spoke up again and
said:
- If you kiss me and turn me
back into a beautiful princess, I will
stay with you for one week.
The
engineer took the frog out of his
pocket, smiled at it and
... citeste tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 31 Martie 2005
An old mafia Don is dying and he calls
his grandson to the bed.
- You
lissin-a me. I wanna for you to taka my
chrome plated 38 revolver so you will
always remember me.
- But grandpa,
I really don't like guns. Howzabout you
leava me your rolex watch instead?
-
Shuddup and lissin. Somma day you gonna
runna da business, you gonna have a
beautifulla wife, lotsa money, a biga
home and maybe a
... citeste tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 17 Octombrie 2005
Subject: Geography lesson for the Day
THE GEOGRAPHY OF A WOMAN
Between 18 and 20 a woman is
like Africa, half discovered, half wild,
naturally beautiful with fertile deltas.
Between 21 and 30 a woman is
like America, well-developed and open to
trade, especially for someone with cash.
Between 31 and 35 she is like
India, very hot, relaxed and
convinced of her own beauty.
Between
... citeste tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 10 Noiembrie 2004
Jack Benny is walking down the street,
when a stick-up man pulls out a gun and
says: Your money or your life!
An
extremely long silence follows. Your
money or your life!, the thug repeats.
Finally Benny says: I am thinking!
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 2 Februarie 2006
A lady about eight months pregnant got
on a bus. She noticed the man opposite
her was smiling at her. So she
immediately moved to another seat.
This time the smile turned to a
grin, so she moved again. The man seemed
even more amused. When, on the fourth
move, the man burst out laughing, she
complained to the driver and he had the
man arrested.
The case came up in
court. The judge asked the man
... citeste tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 2 Iulie 2007
Five Germans in an Audi Quattro arrive
at the Italian border.
The Italian
Customs Officer stops them and tells
them:
- It's a illegala to put a
cinque people in a Quattro.
- Vot do
you mean it's illegal? asks the German
driver.
- Quattro meansa four,
replies the Italian official.
-
Quattro is just ze name of ze
automobile!, the German says
unbelievingly. Look at ze dam papers: ze
car is
... citeste tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 26 Ianuarie 2006
The Pope is visiting Washington, D.C.,
and President Bush takes him out for an
afternoon on the Potomac, cruising on
the Presidential yacht, the Sequoia.
They're admiring the sights when, all of
a sudden, the Pope's hat (zucchetto)
blows off his head and out into the
water.
Secret Service guys start to
launch a boat, but President Bush waves
them off, saying, "Wait, wait. I'll take
care of this.
... citeste tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 28 Iulie 2006
One Sunday morning, everyone in a
bright, beautiful, tiny town got up
early and went to the local church.
Before the services started, the
townspeople were sitting in their pews
and talking about their lives, their
families, etc.
Suddenly, Satan
appeared at the front of the church.
Everyone started screaming and running
for the front entrance, trampling each
other in a frantic effort to get
... citeste tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 5 Aprilie 2007
First-year students at Texas A&M's Vet
School were receiving theirfirst anatomy
class, with a real dead cow. They all
gathered around the surgery table with
the body covered with a white sheet. The
professor started the class by telling
them:
- In vet medicine it is
necessary to have two important
qualities as a doctor: the first is that
you not be disgusted by anything
involving the animal
... citeste tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 2 Mai 2007