Recently while going through an airport during one of his many trips, President Bush encountered a man with long hair, wearing a...
propus: 5 Apr 2005
Recently while going through an airport
during one of his many trips, President
Bush encountered a man with long hair,
wearing a white robe, and sandals,
holding a staff. Satan greets Bill Gates: - Welcome Mr. Gates, we've been waiting for you. This will be your home for all eternity. You've been selfish, greedy and a big liar all your life. Now, since you've got [...]
Bush went up to the man and said,
"Aren't you Moses?" The man never
answered but just kept staring straight
ahead. Again the President said,
"Moses!" in a loud voice. The man just
kept staring ahead, never answering the
President. Bush pulled a Secret Service
agent aside and pointing to the robed
man asked him, "Doesn't that man look
like Moses to you?"
Secret Service agent agreed.
"Well," said the President, "Every
time I say his name he just keeps
staring straight ahead and refuses to
speak. Watch!" Again the President
yelled, "Moses!" and again the man
stared ahead and didn't answer.
The Secret Service agent went up to
the man in the white robe and whispered,
"You look just like Moses. Are you
Moses?" The man leaned over and
whispered back. ..
"Yes, I am
Moses. However, the last time I talked
to a bush I spent 40 years wandering in
the desert, and ended up leading my
people to the only spot in the entire
Middle East where there is no oil.".
banc precedent 1. Project Manager is a person who thinks nine women can deliver a baby in one month. 2. Developer is a person who thinks it will take 18 months to deliver a baby. 3. Onsite Coordinator is [...]
All the scientists die and go to heaven.
They decide to play hide-n-seek.
Unfortunately Einstein is the one who
has the den. He is supposed to count up
to 100 and then start searching.
Everyone starts hiding except Newton.
Newton just draws a square of 1 meter
and stands in it right in front of
Einstein. Einstein's counting:
He opens his
eyes and finds Newton standing in ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 5 Septembrie 2005
An elderly couple, Margaret and Bert,
moved to Texas.
Bert always wanted a
pair of authentic cowboy boots, so,
seeing some on sale, he bought them and
wore them home.
Walking proudly, he
sauntered into the kitchen and said to
his wife, "Notice anything different
Margaret looked him
stormed off into the bathroom, undressed
and walked back into the ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 27 Ianuarie 2009
A ragged individual stranded for several
months on a small desert island in the
middle of the Pacific Ocean noticed a
bottle lying in the sand with a piece of
paper in it. Rushing to the bottle, he
pulled out the cork and with shaking
hands withdrew the message.
lack of maintenance," he read, "we
regretfully have found it necessary to
cancel your e-mail account." ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 23 Mai 2007
My grandmother is a computer geek. She
also has trouble remembering quickly
sometimes. One day she couldn't think of
what she wanted to tell us.
explained, "Your grandma is trying to
retrieve the information, but it is
taking awhile. Evidently she hasn't
defragmented her hard drive lately." ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 8 Octombrie 2007
On the first day of school, the teacher
asked a student:
- What are your
The student replied:
- My father's name is Laughing and
my mother's name is Smiling.
- Are you kidding?
The student said:
- No, Kidding
is my brother. I am Joking. ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 19 Martie 2015
WIFE VS. HUSBAND
A couple drove down
a country road for several miles, not
saying a word.
An earlier discussion
had led to an argument and neither of
them wanted to concede their position..
As they passed a barnyard of mules,
goats, and pigs, the husband asked
sarcastically, 'Relatives of yours?'
'Yep,' the wife replied, 'in-laws.' ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Duminica, 30 Mai 2010
A dog looks at its owner and thinks:
"You feed me, care for me, and love
me...you must be a god!"
A cat looks
at its owner and thinks: "You feed me,
care for me, and love me...I must be a
god!" ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 17 August 2005
Five Germans in an Audi Quattro arrive
at the Italian border.
Customs Officer stops them and tells
- It's a illegala to put a
cinque people in a Quattro.
- Vot do
you mean it's illegal? asks the German
- Quattro meansa four,
replies the Italian official.
Quattro is just ze name of ze
automobile!, the German says
unbelievingly. Look at ze dam papers: ze
car is ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 26 Ianuarie 2006
Amazingly simple home remedies:
Avoid cutting yourself when slicing
vegetables by getting someone else to
hold the vegetables while you chop.
2. Avoid arguments with the females
about lifting the toilet seat by using
3. For high blood pressure
sufferers: Simply cut yourself and bleed
for a few minutes, thus reducing the
pressure on your veins. Remember to use
4. A mouse ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Duminica, 9 Noiembrie 2008
A man is dying of Cancer. His son asked
him, "Dad, why do you keep telling
people you're dying of AIDS?"
Answer: "So when I'm dead no one
will dare touch your mom!" ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 5 Octombrie 2006
Two women came before wise King Solomon,
dragging between them a young man in a
"This young lawyer
agreed to marry my daughter," said one.
"No! He agreed to marry MY
daughter," said the other.
they haggled before the king until he
called for silence.
"Bring me my
biggest sword," said Solomon, "and I
shall hew the young attorney in half.
Each of you shall receive a ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 17 Octombrie 2006
A pastor, a doctor and an engineer were
waiting one morning for a particularly
slow group of golfers. The engineer
- What's with these guys?
We must have been waiting for 15
The doctor chimed in:
I don't know, but I've never
seen such ineptitude!
- Hey, here comes the greens
keeper. Let's have a word with
him.... Hi George! Say, what's ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 31 Martie 2005
News from Apple
announced today that is has developed a
computer chip that can store and play
music in women's breast implants.
The iBoob will cost between $499 and
This is considered to be
a major breakthrough, because women are
always complaining about men staring at
their breasts and not listening to them.
Thank to Apple, everyone is now
happy. ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 28 Noiembrie 2007
A wife asked her husband: "What do you
like most in me, my pretty face or my
He looked at her from
head to toes and replied after a pause:
"I like your sense of humor!" ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 10 Ianuarie 2005