Recently while going through an airport during one of his many trips, President Bush encountered a man with long hair, wearing a...
propus: 5 Apr 2005
Recently while going through an airport
during one of his many trips, President
Bush encountered a man with long hair,
wearing a white robe, and sandals,
holding a staff. Satan greets Bill Gates: - Welcome Mr. Gates, we've been waiting for you. This will be your home for all eternity. You've been selfish, greedy and a big liar all your life. Now, since you've got [...]
Bush went up to the man and said,
"Aren't you Moses?" The man never
answered but just kept staring straight
ahead. Again the President said,
"Moses!" in a loud voice. The man just
kept staring ahead, never answering the
President. Bush pulled a Secret Service
agent aside and pointing to the robed
man asked him, "Doesn't that man look
like Moses to you?"
Secret Service agent agreed.
"Well," said the President, "Every
time I say his name he just keeps
staring straight ahead and refuses to
speak. Watch!" Again the President
yelled, "Moses!" and again the man
stared ahead and didn't answer.
The Secret Service agent went up to
the man in the white robe and whispered,
"You look just like Moses. Are you
Moses?" The man leaned over and
whispered back. ..
"Yes, I am
Moses. However, the last time I talked
to a bush I spent 40 years wandering in
the desert, and ended up leading my
people to the only spot in the entire
Middle East where there is no oil.".
banc precedent 1. Project Manager is a person who thinks nine women can deliver a baby in one month. 2. Developer is a person who thinks it will take 18 months to deliver a baby. 3. Onsite Coordinator is [...]
A man is taking a walk in Central park
in New York. Suddenly he sees the little
girl being attacked by a pitbull. He
runs over and starts fighting with the
dog. He succeds in killing the dog and
saving the girls live.
who was watching the scene walks over
- You are a hero, tomorrow
you can read it in all the newspapers:
"Brave New Yorker saves a little girl's
- But ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 3 Mai 2006
Q: Tarzan and the animals went to the
river to take a bath. Tarzan removed his
clothes. All the animals laughed. Tarzan
A: The animals told
him. Your tail is in front". ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 5 Februarie 2007
All eyes were on the radiant bride as
her father escorted her down the aisle.
They reached the altar and the waiting
groom; the bride kissed her father and
placed something in his hand. The guests
in the front pews, and the minister,
responded with ripples of laughter. As
her father gave her away in marriage,
the bride had given him back his credit
card. ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 28 Noiembrie 2006
I am not sure exactly how this works,
but this is amazingly accurate.
picture below has two identical dolphins
in it. It was used in a case study on
stress levels at the Mayo Clinic and
later at Fletcher Medical Center in
Look at both dolphins
jumping out of the water. The dolphins
are identical. A closely monitored,
scientific study revealed that, in spite
of the fact that ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 25 Martie 2008
Women are like apples on trees. The best
ones are at the top of the tree. Most
men don't want to reach for the good
ones because they are afraid of falling
and getting hurt. Instead, they just
take the rotten apples from the ground
that aren't as good, but easy.......
The apples at the top think something is
wrong with them, when in reality,
they're amazing. They just have to
wait for ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 5 Mai 2005
Tom Thumb, Sleeping Beauty, and
Quasimodo were all talking one day.
Sleeping Beauty said:
believe myself to be the most beautiful
girl in the world.
Tom Thumb said:
- I must be the smallest person in
absolutely have to be the ugliest person
in the world.
They decided to
go to the Guinness Book of World Records
to have their claims verified.
Sleeping ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 15 Martie 2005
There is an old story about a mother who
walks in on her six-year-old son and
finds him sobbing. "What's the matter?"
"I've just figured out how
to tie my shoes."
that's wonderful." Being a wise mother,
she recognizes his victory in the
Eriksonian struggle of autonomy versus
doubt: "You're growing up, but why are
"Because," he says,
"now I'll have to do it ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 20 Aprilie 2007
A man happens
upon a friend and sees that his friend's
car is wrecked and covered with leaves,
grass, branches, dirt, and blood. He
asks his friend, "What happened to your
"Well," the friend
responses, "I ran into a lawyer."
"OK," says the man, "that explains
the blood... But what about the leaves,
the grass, the branches, and the dirt?"
"Well, I had to chase ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 26 Septembrie 2006
Jack, who is a smart businessman, talks
to his son
Jack: I want you to
marry a girl of my choice
will choose my own bride!"
"But the girl is Bill Gates's
Son: "Well, in that
Next Jack approaches
Jack: "I have a husband
for your daughter."
"But my daughter is too young to marry!"
Jack: "But this young man is a ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 29 Septembrie 2005
I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty
uesdnatnrd waht I was rdgnieg The
phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid
Aodccrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde
Uinervtisy, it dnsoe't mttaer in
waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are,
the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the
frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit
pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and
you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.
Tihs is bcuseae the ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 10 Noiembrie 2004
A school teacher sends this note to all
parents on the first day of school: "If
you promise not to believe everything
your child says happens at school, I'll
promise not to believe everything he
says happens at home." ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Duminica, 27 Ianuarie 2008
A man called home to his wife and said,
"Honey I have been asked to go
fishing up in Canada with my boss &
several of his friends. We'll be
gone for a week. This is a good
opportunity for me to get that promotion
I've been wanting so could you
please pack enough clothes for a week
and set out my rod and fishing box?
We're leaving from the office & I
will swing by the house to pick ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 18 Octombrie 2004
Basic philosophy in BIG 4:
- Ernst &
Young = Dead & Young
PriceWaterhouseCoopers = Prices are
everything, no water, no house, cope
with us, cause we don’t care!!!
KPMG = Kill People More Gently
Deloitte & Touche = Delighted to kill
our employees. Touchė!!! ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 27 Aprilie 2007