An engineer was crossing a road one-day when a frog called out to him and said: - If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful...
Banc din categoria: Bancuri in Engleza (English)
propus: 31 Mar 2005
An engineer was crossing a road one-day when a frog called out to him and said:
banc precedent 1. Project Manager is a person who thinks nine women can deliver a baby in one month. 2. Developer is a person who thinks it will take 18 months to deliver a baby. 3. Onsite Coordinator is [...]
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After buying her kids a pet hamster, after they PROMISED they would take care of it, Mom, as usual, ended up with the responsibility. One evening, exasperated, she asked them, "How many times do you think that hamster would have died if I hadn't looked after it?" After a moment, her youngest son replied quizzically, "Once?" ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 22 August 2007
Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love. I never think of the future. It comes soon enough. The only thing that interferes with my learning is my education. Education is what remains after one has forgotten everything he learned in school. Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe. Wire telegraph is a kind of a very, very ... citește tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marți, 12 Aprilie 2005
I recall a time when my son was about 18 months old. I had him strapped into a backpack and was rushing to catch the bus. Apparently I mis-stepped and fell down an entire flight of stairs (13 to be exact). I was bruised and bleeding and had torn my jeans ... but my main concern was, naturally, for my child. My fears were alleviated, though, when from behind me I heard a gleeful giggle followed ... citește tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 13 August 2008
"Our five senses are incomplete without the sixth: sense of humor." Anonymous ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 16 Mai 2005
"I just don't understand it", an Irish footballer complained... "One match I play very well, and then the next match I'm terrible". "Well", said his wife, "why don't you just play every other match?" ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 30 Aprilie 2008
The orthopedic surgeon I work for was moving to a new office, and his staff was helping transport many of the items. I sat the display skeleton in the front of my car, his bony arm across the back of my seat. I hadn't considered the drive across town. At one traffic light, the stares of the people in the car beside me became obvious, and I looked across and explained, "I'm delivering him to my ... citește tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marți, 31 Octombrie 2006
- 25th Wedding Anniversary - At the banquet of Tom and Susan's 25th wedding anniversary, Tom was asked to give his friends a brief account of the benefits of a marriage of such long duration. - Tell us, Tom, just what is it you have learned from all those wonderful years with your wife? Tom responded: - Well, I've learned that marriage is the best teacher of all. It teaches you loyalty, ... citește tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 21 Iunie 2007
A crew of highway maintenance workers was sent to repair some road signs that vandals had knocked down in a forested area. The first one they put back up was a symbol warning of a deer crossing. As they moved down the road to repair the next sign, one crew member looked back and spotted a deer running across the highway. She turned to a co-worker and said, "I wonder how long he's been waiting to ... citește tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 11 Iunie 2007
I'm sorry that you haven't gotten much email from me lately. It's because I'm tired. For a couple years I've been blaming it on iron poor blood, lack of vitamins, dieting and a dozen other maladies. But now I found out the real reason. I'm tired because I'm overworked. The population of this country is 237 million. 104 million are retired. That leaves 133 million to do ... citește tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 18 Octombrie 2004
A cowboy went to an insurance agency to buy a policy. The agent asked, "Have you ever had an accident?" "Nope," replied the cowboy. "Last summer, a bronc kicked in two of my ribs, and a couple of years ago, a rattlesnake bit me on the ankle." "Wouldn't you call those accidents?" quizzed the puzzled agent. "Naw," the cowboy replied. "They did it on purpose!" ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 15 Noiembrie 2006
A cat died and went to Heaven. God met her at the gates and said: - You have been a good cat all these years. Anything you want is yours for the asking. The cat thought for a minute and then said: - All my life I lived on a farm and slept on hard wooden floors. I would like a real fluffy pillow to sleep on. God said: - Say no more. Instantly the cat had a huge fluffy pillow. A few days later, ... citește tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 30 Martie 2005
Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is your emergency? Caller: I heard what sounded like gunshots coming from the brown house on the corner. Dispatcher: Do you have an address? Caller: No, I have on a blouse and slacks, why? ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 12 Aprilie 2007
TEACHER: Clyde, your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his? CLYDE: No, sir. It's the same dog. ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 26 Noiembrie 2008
To do is to be. Socrate To be is to do. Aristotel Do be do be do. Sinatra ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 19 Decembrie 2005
When Charles de Gaulle decided to retire
from public life, the British ambassador
and his wife threw a gala dinner party
in his honor. At the dinner table, the
Ambassador’s wife was talking with
Madame deGaulle:
- Your husband has been such a prominent
public figure, such a presence on the
French and international scene for so
many years! How quiet retirement will
seem in comparison. What ... citește tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 6 Martie 2009