Three engineering students were gathered together discussing the possible designers of the human body. One said, It was a...
propus: 31 Mar 2005
"In Italy for thirty years under the
Borgias they had warfare, terror,
murder, bloodshed; they produced
Michelangelo, Leonardo da Vinci and the
Renaissance.
In Switzerland they had
brotherly love, five hundred years of
democracy and peace, and what did they
produce? The cuckoo clock!"
Orson
Welles
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 16 Mai 2005
How to avoid the flu
Eat right!
Make sure you get your daily dose of
fruits and veggies.
Take your
vitamins and bump up your vitamin C.
Get plenty of exercise because
exercise helps build your immune system.
Walk for at least hour a day, go for
a swim, take the stairs instead of the
elevator, etc.
Wash your hands
often. If you can't wash them, keep
a bottle of antibacterial stuff
... citeste tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 21 Ianuarie 2005
1. The Japanese eat very little fat and
suffer fewer heart attacks than
Americans.
2. The Mexicans eat a lot
of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks
than Americans.
3. The Chinese drink
very little red wine and suffer fewer
heart attacks than Americans.
4. The
Italians drink excessive amounts of red
wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than
Americans.
5. The Germans drink a
lot of beers and eat
... citeste tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 11 Noiembrie 2004
A pastor, a doctor and an engineer were
waiting one morning for a particularly
slow group of golfers. The engineer
fumed:
- What's with these guys?
We must have been waiting for 15
minutes!
The doctor chimed in:
-
I don't know, but I've never
seen such ineptitude!
The pastor
said:
- Hey, here comes the greens
keeper. Let's have a word with
him.... Hi George! Say, what's
... citeste tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 31 Martie 2005
Concerned about fitness in my middle
40s, I enrolled in an aerobics class. To
my dismay I walked into a room filled
with much younger women and decided to
combat my nervousness with humor.
"I'm here to do my postnatal
exercises."
The instructor gave me
an appraising look. "How old is your
baby?"
"Twenty-six," I replied.
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 13 Februarie 2008
George Bush is visiting the Queen of
England. He asks her, "Your Majesty, how
do you run such an efficient government?
Are there any tips you can give me?"
"Well," says the Queen, "the
most important thing is to surround
yourself with intelligent people.
"Bush frowns. "But how do I know the
people around me are really
intelligent?"
The Queen takes a
sip of tea. "Oh, that's easy. You just
... citeste tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 14 Iulie 2006
A cowboy went to an insurance agency to
buy a policy. The agent asked, "Have you
ever had an accident?"
"Nope,"
replied the cowboy. "Last summer, a
bronc kicked in two of my ribs, and a
couple of years ago, a rattlesnake bit
me on the ankle."
"Wouldn't you call
those accidents?" quizzed the puzzled
agent.
"Naw," the cowboy replied.
"They did it on purpose!"
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 15 Noiembrie 2006
When the new patient was settled
comfortably on the couch, the
psychiatrist began his therapy session.
"I'm not aware of your problem," the
doctor said. "So perhaps, you should
start at the very beginning."
"Of
course," replied the patient. "In the
beginning, I created the heavens and the
earth..."
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 19 Iulie 2007
A man visited a psychiatrist to talk
about his dreams.
"Every night," the
man said, "I dream that these three
hideous monsters are sitting on the edge
of my bed, ready to attack me."
"Hmmm," said the doctor. "I feel
sure I can cure you of this problem. But
the treatment will cost you somewhere
between twenty-five and thirty thousand
dollars."
"Thirty thousand dollars!"
the man gasped. "Never
... citeste tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 9 Martie 2007
10 WAYS THE BIBLE WOULD BE DIFFERENT (If
Written By College Students)
10. Last Supper would have been
eaten the next morning - cold.
9.
The Ten Commandments are actually only
five, double-spaced, and written in a
large font.
8. New edition every two
years in order to limit reselling.
7. Forbidden fruit would have been
eaten because it wasn't cafeteria food.
6. Paul's letter to the Romans
... citeste tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 17 Mai 2007
A blonde woman goes into a department
store and tells the salesman she wants a
pair of pink curtains. He assures her
they have a good selection of pink
curtains. He shows her many kinds and
different fabrics of curtains she
finally picks out a pink floral pattern.
The salesman asks, "What size do you
need?"
She says, "15 inch."
He
exclaims, "15 INCHES! What room are they
for?"
She says, "It's
... citeste tot Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 24 Noiembrie 2005
My wife's family and I were at a Harding
University football game. Every time
someone carried the ball or made a
tackle, the announcer would broadcast
who had made the play.
Near the
beginning of the third quarter after the
announcer called a play, my niece,
Madison, looked up at my wife and
innocently asked, "Is that God talking?"
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 22 Noiembrie 2006
One spelling mistake can destroy your
life!
A husband wrote a message to
his wife on his business trip and forgot
to
add 'e' at the end of a word...
"I am having such a wonderful time!
I wish you were her..."
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 7 Aprilie 2011