A pastor, a doctor and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer fumed: -...
propus: 31 Mar 2005
A pastor, a doctor and an engineer were
waiting one morning for a particularly
slow group of golfers. The engineer
fumed: Two engineering students were walking across campus when one said: - Where did you get such a great bike? The second engineer replied: - Well, I was walking along yesterday minding my own [...]
- What's with these guys? We
must have been waiting for 15 minutes!
The doctor chimed in:
- I don't
know, but I've never seen such
The pastor said:
Hey, here comes the greens keeper. Let's
have a word with him.... Hi George! Say,
what's with that group ahead of us?
They're rather slow, aren't they?
The greens keeper replied:
yes, that's a group of blind
firefighters. They lost their sight
saving our clubhouse from a fire last
year, so we always let them play for
The group was
silent for a moment, then the pastor
- That's so sad. I think I
will say a special prayer for them
The doctor said:
idea. And I'm going to contact my
ophthalmologist buddy and see if
there's anything he can do for them.
The engineer said:
- Why can't
these guys play at night?
banc precedent What is the difference between Mechanical Engineers and Civil Engineers? Mechanical Engineers build weapons and Civil Engineers build targets.
A husband, the owner of a new car, was
somewhat reluctant to allow his wife to
drive his prize possession, even to the
grocery store, which was a few blocks
from the house.
After she insisted,
he finally relented, cautioning her as
she departed, "Remember, if you have an
accident, the newspaper will print your
age." ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 25 Septembrie 2008
Bill and Diane were in a terrible
accident and Diane's face was
told Bill that they couldn't graft
any skin from her body because she was
So Bill offered to
donate some of his own skin. However,
the only skin on his body that the
doctor felt was suitable would have to
come from his buttocks.
husband and wife agreed that they would ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 31 August 2004
A man follows a woman out of a movie
theatre. She has a dog on a leash. He
stops her and says, "I'm sorry to
bother you, but I couldn't help but
notice that your dog was really into the
movie. He cried at the right spots, he
moved nervously in his seat at the
boring parts, but most of all, he
laughed like crazy at the funny parts.
Did you find that unusual?"
she replied, "I found ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 18 Octombrie 2004
Hearing so many people speaking about
his intelligence level, George "double
you" Bush decided to get his brain
The physician diagnosis was
- Mr. President, you
have two brains, the left and the right,
like all normal people. But the problem
is that in your left brain there is
nothing right and in your right brain
there is nothing left. ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 10 Mai 2005
HOW TO RECRUIT THE RIGHT PERSON FOR THE
Put about 100 bricks in
some particular order in a closed room
with an open window. Then send 2 or 3
candidates in the room and close the
door. Leave them alone and come back
after 6 hours and then analyses the
If they are counting
the bricks. Put them in the accounts
If they are
recounting them. Put them in ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 10 Martie 2006
A man is incomplete until he is married.
Then he is finished.
is the triumph of imagination over
When a woman
steals your husband, there is no better
revenge than to let her keep him. ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 6 Octombrie 2006
Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is your
Caller: I heard what
sounded like gunshots coming from the
brown house on the corner.
Dispatcher: Do you have an address?
Caller: No, I have on a blouse and
slacks, why? ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 12 Aprilie 2007
The truth about working in the IT
1. We work weird
2. They pay you to
make the client happy...
client pays a lot of money, but your
employer keeps almost every penny...
4. You are rewarded for fulfilling
the client's dreams...
friends fall apart and you end up
hanging out with people in the same
profession as you...
6. When you
have to meet the ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 27 Noiembrie 2006
Due to increasing products liability
litigation, American liquor
manufacturers have accepted the
FDA's suggestion that the following
warning labels be placed immediately on
all varieties of alcohol containers:
WARNING: The consumption of
alcohol may leave you wondering what the
hell happened to your bra and panties.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol
may make you think you are ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 7 Martie 2005
Jack Benny is walking down the street,
when a stick-up man pulls out a gun and
says: Your money or your life!
extremely long silence follows. Your
money or your life!, the thug repeats.
Finally Benny says: I am thinking! ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 2 Februarie 2006