What's the difference between stress, tension and panic? Stress is when wife is pregnant. Tension is when girlfriend is...
propus: 1 Mar 2005
Five Jews changed the way you see the
- Moses: The Law is
- Jesus: Love is
- Marx: Money is
- Freud: Sex is
- Einstein: Everything
is relative. ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Luni, 14 Februarie 2005
Headlines from the year 2029:
Ozone created by electric cars now
killing millions in the seventh largest
country in the world, Mexifornia,
formerly known as California. White
minorities still trying to have English
recognized as Mexifornia's third
Spotted Owl plague
threatens northwestern United States
crops and livestock.
conceived naturally. Scientists stumped.
Couple ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 2 Martie 2006
Husband and wife are waiting at the bus
stop with their 9 children. A blind man
joins them after a few minutes. When the
bus arrives, they find it overloaded and
only the wife and the 9 kids are able to
fit onto the bus.
husband and the blind man decide to
walk. After a while, the husband gets
irritated by the ticking of the stick of
the blind man as he taps it on the
sidewalk, and says ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 5 Octombrie 2006
A man called 911 and said, "Someone come
quick! My wife fell asleep on the couch
with her mouth open and a mouse ran down
replied, "Calm down, sir. Wave a piece
of cheese over her mouth and maybe the
mouse will come out. An ambulance is on
When the ambulance
arrived, the EMT found the man waving a
fish over his wife's mouth.
"What on earth are you ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 13 August 2008
The phone rang. It was a salesman from a
mortgage refinance company. "Do you have
a second mortgage on your home?"
"No," I replied.
"Would you like
to consolidate all your debts?"
really don't have any," I said.
about freeing up cash for home
improvements?" he tried.
need any. I just recently had some done
and paid cash," I parried.
a brief silence, and then he ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 2 Februarie 2007
The Pentagon announced TODAY the
formation of a new 500-man elite
fighting unit called the United States
Redneck Special Forces (USRSF).
These boys will be dropped off in
Iraq and have been given only the
following facts about terrorists:
The season opened today.
2. There is
3. They taste just like
4. They don't like beer,
pickups, country music or Jesus.
They are ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 13 Martie 2008
A property manager of an apartment
complex was showing a unit to
prospective tenants and asking the usual
employed?" he asked.
military family," the wife answered.
"Oh, yes, ages nine
and twelve," she answered proudly.
"Oh, no," she said
earnestly. "They're very well behaved." ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 23 Aprilie 2008
Students at a school were asked to write
about the harmful effects of oil on
One 11-year-old wrote, "When
my mom opened a tin of sardines last
night, it was full of oil and all the
sardines were dead." ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Vineri, 4 Mai 2007
From a strictly mathematical viewpoint
it goes like this:
100%? What does it mean to give MORE
than 100%? Ever wonder about those
people who say they are giving more than
100%? We have all been to those meetings
where someone wants you to give over
100%. How about achieving 103%? What
makes up 100% in life?
Here's a little mathematical
formula that might help you answer these ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 2 Noiembrie 2004
This coming week is National Mental
Health Care week.
You can do
your part by remembering to contact at
least one unstable person to show you
Well, my job is done! ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 18 Ianuarie 2007
A lawyer runs a stop sign and gets
pulled over by a Cop. Being a typical
lawyer, he thinks he is smarter than the
Cop so he decides to have some fun at
the Cop's expense.
License and registration, please.
- What for?
- You didn't come to a
complete stop at the stop sign.
- I slowed down,
and no one was coming.
- Exactly! License ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Marti, 22 Noiembrie 2005
Each Friday night after work, Bubba
would fire up his outdoor grill and cook
venison steak. But all of Bubba's
neighbors were Catholic, and since it
was Lent, they were forbidden from
eating red meat on Friday.
delicious aroma from the grilled venison
steaks was causing such a problem for
the Catholic faithful that they finally
talked to their priest.
came to visit Bubba and ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Joi, 8 Martie 2007
Hung Chow calls work and says:
Hey, boss I no come work today, I really
sick. I got headache, stomach ache and
my legs hurt, I no come work.
- You know Hung Chow, I
really need you today. When I feel like
that I go to my wife and tell her to
sing for me. That makes everything
better and I go work. You try that.
Two hours later Hung Chow calls
- Boss, I do what you say ... citeste tot
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Miercuri, 16 Martie 2005