A new store named Husband-Mart opened. Husband-Mart is a store where women can go and choose a husband from among many men. The...
proposed: 30 Nov 2004
A new store named Husband-Mart opened.
Husband-Mart is a store where women can
go and choose a husband from among many
men. The store is composed of six
floors, and the men increase in positive
attributes as the shopper ascends the
flight of stairs. There is, however, a
catch. AS you open the door to any floor
you may choose a man from that floor,
but if you go up a floor, you cannot go
back down except to exit the building.
1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans. 2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans. 3. The Chinese drink very [...]
So, this woman goes to the
shopping center to find a husband. On
the first floor the sign on the door
reads: Floor 1 - These men have jobs.
The woman reads the sign and says to
herself, "Well, that is better than my
last boyfriend, but I wonder what is
further up?" So up she goes.
The second floor sign reads: Floor 2
- These men have jobs and love kids. The
woman remarks to herself, "That's great,
but I wonder what's further up?" And up
The third floor sign
reads: Floor 3 - These men have jobs,
love kids and are extremely good
looking. "Hmm, better," she says. "But I
wonder what's upstairs?" Up she goes.
The fourth floor sign reads:
Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love
kids, are extremely good looking and
help with the housework. "Wow!",
exclaims the woman, "very tempting. But,
there must be more further up!" And
again she heads up another flight.
The fifth floor sign reads: Floor 5
- These men have jobs, love kids, are
extremely good looking, help with the
housework and have a strong romantic
streak. "Oh, mercy me! But just think...
what must be awaiting for me on the
sixth floor?" So up to the sixth floor
The sixth floor sign
reads: Floor 6 - You are visitor
#1,459,789,015 to this floor. There are
no men on this floor. This floor exists
solely as proof that women are
impossible to please. Thank you for
shopping at Husband-Mart and have a nice
previous joke A wife asked her husband: What do you like most in me, my pretty face or my sexy body? He looked at her from head to toes and replied after a pause: I like your sense of humor!
An elderly couple, Margaret and Bert,
moved to Texas.
Bert always wanted a
pair of authentic cowboy boots, so,
seeing some on sale, he bought them and
wore them home.
Walking proudly, he
sauntered into the kitchen and said to
his wife, "Notice anything different
Margaret looked him
stormed off into the bathroom, undressed
and walked back into the ... read all
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Tuesday, 27 January 2009
Year 1981 =========
Charles got married
crowned Champions of Europe
Year 2005 =========
1. Prince Charles got married
2. Liverpool crowned
Champions of Europe (again)
*** In Future,
Charles wants to re-marry
Liverpool needs another crown. .... POOR
POPE....!! ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Tuesday, 23 August 2005
A young lady visited the government
matchmaker for marriage and requested:
"I'm looking for a spouse. Can you
please help me to find a suitable one?"
The marriage officer said: "Your
"Well, let me
see. Needs to be good looking, polite,
humorous, sporty, knowledgeable, good at
singing and dancing.
accompany me the whole day at home
during my leisure hour, if I ... read all
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Monday, 27 August 2007
A husband, the owner of a new car, was
somewhat reluctant to allow his wife to
drive his prize possession, even to the
grocery store, which was a few blocks
from the house.
After she insisted,
he finally relented, cautioning her as
she departed, "Remember, if you have an
accident, the newspaper will print your
age." ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Thursday, 25 September 2008
A husband and his wife had a bitter
quarrel on the day of their 40th wedding
The husband yells,
"When you die, I'm getting you a
headstone that reads: 'Here Lies My
Wife - Cold As Ever'."
she replies, "When you die, I'm
getting you a headstone that reads:
'Here Lies My Husband - Stiff At
Last.'" ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Thursday, 9 June 2005
Dr. Marc Faber, investment guru,
concluded his monthly bulletin (June
2008) with the following comments:
"The federal government is sending
each of us a $600 rebate. If we spend
that money at Wal-Mart, the money goes
to China. If we spend it on gasoline it
goes to the Arabs. If we buy a computer,
it will go to India. If we purchase
fruits and vegetables it will go to
Mexico, Honduras and ... read all
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Friday, 3 April 2009
A dog walks into an employment agency
- I'd like to get a job
The guy at the employment
- Wow, you could easily
get a job at the circus, with your
The dog replys:
would the circus want with a plumber? ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Tuesday, 19 November 2013
A cat died and went to Heaven. God met
her at the gates and said:
have been a good cat all these years.
Anything you want is yours for the
The cat thought for a minute
and then said:
- All my life I lived
on a farm and slept on hard wooden
floors. I would like a real fluffy
pillow to sleep on.
Say no more.
Instantly the cat had a
huge fluffy pillow.
A few days ... read all
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Wednesday, 30 March 2005
Subject: Geography lesson for the Day
THE GEOGRAPHY OF A WOMAN
Between 18 and 20 a woman is
like Africa, half discovered, half wild,
naturally beautiful with fertile deltas.
Between 21 and 30 a woman is
like America, well-developed and open to
trade, especially for someone with cash.
Between 31 and 35 she is like
India, very hot, relaxed and
convinced of her own beauty.
Between ... read all
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Wednesday, 10 November 2004
After buying her kids a pet hamster,
after they PROMISED they would take care
of it, Mom, as usual, ended up with the
exasperated, she asked them, "How many
times do you think that hamster would
have died if I hadn't looked after it?"
After a moment, her youngest son
replied quizzically, "Once?" ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Wednesday, 22 August 2007
1. Project Manager is a person who
thinks nine women can deliver a baby in
2. Developer is a person
who thinks it will take 18 months to
deliver a baby.
Coordinator is one who thinks a single
woman can deliver nine babies in one
4. Client is the one who
doesn't know why he wants a baby.
5. Marketing Manager is a person who
thinks he can deliver a baby even if ... read all
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Monday, 11 April 2005
Each Friday night after work, Bubba
would fire up his outdoor grill and cook
venison steak. But all of Bubba's
neighbors were Catholic, and since it
was Lent, they were forbidden from
eating red meat on Friday.
delicious aroma from the grilled venison
steaks was causing such a problem for
the Catholic faithful that they finally
talked to their priest.
came to visit Bubba and ... read all
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Thursday, 8 March 2007