- Are you sure this is british beef? - Of horse it is!
proposed: 18 Apr 2013
A mother and a daughter are shopping in
the mall, when the mother eyes an
expensive fur coat.
"This year," she
says, "I think that I will buy my
present instead of making you and Dad
shop for me." The daughter nods in
agreement. "And I think this fur coat
would be perfect too."
protests, "But Mom, some helpless, poor
creature has to suffer so that you can
"Don't worry, ... read all
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Thursday, 7 February 2008
THE WORLD'S SHORTEST FAIRY TALE:
Once upon a time a guy asked a girl:
"Will you marry me?" The girl said "NO!"
And the guy lived happily ever after and
went fishing, hunting and played golf a
lot and drank beer and farted whenever
THE END ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Monday, 16 January 2006
Who's your best friend? Just try this
experiment... Put your dog and your wife
in the trunk of the car for an hour.
When you open the trunk, who is really
happy to see you? ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Wednesday, 12 March 2008
A soldier stationed in Iraq recently
received a "Dear John" letter from his
girlfriend back home. It read as
no longer continue our relationship. The
distance between us is just too great. I
must admit that I have cheated on you
twice, since you've been gone, and
it's not fair to either of us.
Please return the
picture of me that I sent to ... read all
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Friday, 10 June 2005
Late one night, a man walks into a
dentist's surgery and says, "Excuse me,
can you help me? I think I'm a moth."
Dentist: "You don't need a dentist.
You need a psychiatrist."
Dentist: "So why did you
come in here?"
Man: "Well, the light
was on." ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Wednesday, 9 May 2007
Little Logan and his family were having
Thanksgiving dinner at his grandmother's
house. Everyone was seated round the
table as the food was being served. When
little Logan received his plate, he
started eating right away.
wait until we say our prayer, his mother
- I don't need to, the
little boy replied.
- Of course you
do! his mother insisted, We say a prayer
before ... read all
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Tuesday, 21 November 2006
I recall a time when my son was about 18
months old. I had him strapped into a
backpack and was rushing to catch the
bus. Apparently I mis-stepped and fell
down an entire flight of stairs (13 to
be exact). I was bruised and bleeding
and had torn my jeans ... but my main
concern was, naturally, for my child.
My fears were alleviated,
though, when from behind me I heard a
gleeful giggle followed ... read all
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Wednesday, 13 August 2008
At a U2 concert in Ireland, Bono (the
lead singer) asks the audience for some
quiet. Then he starts to slowly clap his
hands. Holding the audience in total
silence, he says into the microphone...
"I want you to think about
something. Every time I clap my hands, a
child in Africa dies."
A voice from
the front of the audience yells out...
"Then ****** stop clapping, ya
********!" ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Tuesday, 19 June 2007
Mr. Gable had a leak in the roof over
his dining room, so he called a
repairman to take a look at it. "When
did you first notice the leak?" the
scowled. "Last night, when it took me
two hours to finish my soup!" ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Thursday, 12 October 2006
Husband and wife are waiting at the bus
stop with their 9 children. A blind man
joins them after a few minutes. When the
bus arrives, they find it overloaded and
only the wife and the 9 kids are able to
fit onto the bus.
husband and the blind man decide to
walk. After a while, the husband gets
irritated by the ticking of the stick of
the blind man as he taps it on the
sidewalk, and says ... read all
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Thursday, 5 October 2006
George Bush is visiting the Queen of
England. He asks her, "Your Majesty, how
do you run such an efficient government?
Are there any tips you can give me?"
"Well," says the Queen, "the
most important thing is to surround
yourself with intelligent people.
"Bush frowns. "But how do I know the
people around me are really
The Queen takes a
sip of tea. "Oh, that's easy. You just ... read all
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Friday, 14 July 2006
A blonde at the grocery store:
would like 4 tomatoes, 4 potatoes and 4
- I can help you with the
tomatoes and the potatoes, but not with
- Ok... than I'll
have 2 tomatoes, 2 potatoes and 2
- I see you don't understand
me: I have tomatoes, I have potatoes,
but I have no onions.
- I see...
then I'll have a tomato, a potato and an
- Ok, let's do this ... read all
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Saturday, 14 July 2007