I have a great dog. She's half Labrador, half Pit-bull. A good combination. Sure, she might bite off my leg, but she'll bring it...
proposed by: Ovidiu on date: 18 May 2012
I've sure gotten old. I've had two
bypass surgeries, a hip replacement, and
new knees. Fought prostate cancer and
diabetes. I'm half blind, can't hear
anything quieter than a jet engine, and
take 40 different medications that make
me dizzy, winded, and subject to
blackouts. Have bouts with dementia.
Have poor circulation; hardly feel my
hands and feet anymore. Can't remember
if I'm 85 or 92. Have
... read all Bancuri in Engleza (English) Monday, 11 December 2006
Q: Tarzan and the animals went to the
river to take a bath. Tarzan removed his
clothes. All the animals laughed. Tarzan
asked "Why"?
A: The animals told
him. Your tail is in front".
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Monday, 5 February 2007
Five Germans in an Audi Quattro arrive
at the Italian border.
The Italian
Customs Officer stops them and tells
them:
- It's a illegala to put a
cinque people in a Quattro.
- Vot do
you mean it's illegal? asks the German
driver.
- Quattro meansa four,
replies the Italian official.
-
Quattro is just ze name of ze
automobile!, the German says
unbelievingly. Look at ze dam papers: ze
car is
... read all Bancuri in Engleza (English) Thursday, 26 January 2006
Error messages:
1. Enter any
11-digit prime number to continue.
2. Press any key to continue or any
other key to quit.
3. Bad command or
file name! Go stand in the corner.
4. This will end your Windows
session. Do you want to play another
game?
5. Windows message: "Error
saving file! Format drive now? (Y/Y)"
6. To "shut down" your system, type
"WIN"
7. BREAKFAST.SYS halted...
Cereal port
... read all Bancuri in Engleza (English) Wednesday, 10 November 2004
Sweetheart:
I can't send my
salary this month, so I am sending 100
kisses. You are my sweetheart.
Your husband,
Allen
...
His wife replied back after some
days to her husband:
Dearest
sweetheart,
Thanks for your 100
kisses, I am sending the expenses
details:
1. The Milk man agreed on 2
kisses for one month's milk.
2.
The electricity man only agreed after 7
kisses.
3.
... read all Bancuri in Engleza (English) Tuesday, 13 September 2005
Statement: Senior Citizens Are Valuable!
We are more valuable than any of the
younger generations:
- We have
silver in our hair.
- We have gold
in our teeth.
- We have stones in
our kidneys.
- We have lead in our
feet and.
- We are loaded with
natural gas
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Tuesday, 26 February 2008
There is this good old barber in one
city in the US.
- One day a florist
goes to him for a haircut. After the
cut, he goes to pay the barber and the
barber replies: "I am sorry. I cannot
accept money from you. I am doing
community service." The Florist is happy
and leaves the shop. The next morning
when the barber goes to open his shop,
there is a thank you card and a dozen
roses waiting at his
... read all Bancuri in Engleza (English) Thursday, 9 February 2006
A pastor, a doctor and an engineer were
waiting one morning for a particularly
slow group of golfers. The engineer
fumed:
- What's with these guys?
We must have been waiting for 15
minutes!
The doctor chimed in:
-
I don't know, but I've never
seen such ineptitude!
The pastor
said:
- Hey, here comes the greens
keeper. Let's have a word with
him.... Hi George! Say, what's
... read all Bancuri in Engleza (English) Thursday, 31 March 2005
Unexpected cold snaps had destroyed the
buds on my father's young peach tree for
two years in a row. This spring, Dad was
ready. He replanted the sapling in a
large box, mounted it on wheels, and put
the tree in the garage whenever the
temperature dropped.
One warm April
day, Dad was wheeling the tree out into
the yard, and he stopped to give our dog
a drink from the garden hose. A neighbor
... read all Bancuri in Engleza (English) Thursday, 14 June 2007
A boy who was a witness to a crime was
called to testify in court. He was
approached by the defense attorney who
asked, "Did anyone tell you what to say
in court?"
"Yes, sir," answered the
boy.
"I thought so," said the
attorney. "Who was it?"
"My father,
sir."
"And what did he tell you?"
the attorney asked accusingly.
"He
said that the lawyers would try to get
me all tangled up, but if I
... read all Bancuri in Engleza (English) Monday, 13 November 2006
A Polish man moved to the USA and
married an American girl. Although his
English was far from perfect, they got
along very well until one day he rushed
into a lawyer's office and asked him if
he could arrange a divorce for him.
The lawyer said that getting a
divorce would depend on the
circumstances, and asked him the
following questions:
- Have you any
grounds?
- Yes, an acre and half and
... read all Bancuri in Engleza (English) Tuesday, 16 January 2007
An elderly couple, Margaret and Bert,
moved to Texas.
Bert always wanted a
pair of authentic cowboy boots, so,
seeing some on sale, he bought them and
wore them home.
Walking proudly, he
sauntered into the kitchen and said to
his wife, "Notice anything different
about me?"
Margaret looked him
over.. "Nope."
Frustrated, Bert
stormed off into the bathroom, undressed
and walked back into the
... read all Bancuri in Engleza (English) Tuesday, 27 January 2009