I have a great dog. She's half Labrador, half Pit-bull. A good combination. Sure, she might bite off my leg, but she'll bring it...

A soldier stationed in Iraq recently received a "Dear John" letter from his girlfriend back home. It read as follows:

Dear Ricky,
I can no longer continue our relationship. The distance between us is just too great. I must admit that I have cheated on you twice, since you've been gone, and it's not fair to either of us. I'm sorry.
Please return the picture of me that I sent to ... read all

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Friday, 10 June 2005

FINAL EXAM

The blonde reports for her university final examination that consists of yes/no type questions. She takes her seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes and then, in a fit of inspiration, takes out her purse, removes a coin and starts tossing the coin, marking the answer sheet: Yes, for Heads, and! No, for Tails. Within half an hour she is all ... read all

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Tuesday, 31 August 2004

A man is waiting in line for a hit movie. Behind him are two women. The usher comes along and says that he has two seats together. Seeing the problem, the usher says to the man, "Let them go first. You wouldn't want to separate a woman from her mother, would you?"
The man says, "No, sir. I did that once, and I've been sorry ever since." ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Tuesday, 1 April 2008

People who do lots of work... make lots of mistakes.
People who do less work... make less mistakes.
People who do no work... make no mistakes.
People who make no mistakes... gets promoted.
That's why I spend most of my time sending e-mails & playing games at work... I need a promotion. ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Monday, 10 January 2005

If Adam and Eve were Chinese we would still be in paradise because they would have ignored the apple and eaten the snake. ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Thursday, 24 February 2005

Women are like apples on trees. The best ones are at the top of the tree. Most men don't want to reach for the good ones because they are afraid of falling and getting hurt. Instead, they just take the rotten apples from the ground that aren't as good, but easy....... The apples at the top think something is wrong with them, when in reality, they're amazing. They just have to wait for ... read all

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Thursday, 5 May 2005

In an attempt to stop the spread of bird flu, President George W. Bush has just bombed the Canary Islands."
Turkey is next... ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Friday, 2 June 2006

A new missionary recruit went to Venezuela for the first time. He was struggling with the language and didn't understand a whole lot of what was going on. Intending to visit one of the local churches, he got lost, but he eventually got back on track and found the place. Having arrived late, the church was already packed. The only pew left was the one on the front row.

So as not to make a fool ... read all

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Wednesday, 21 February 2007

See if you can do this. Read each line aloud.

This is this cat
This is is cat
This is how cat
This is to cat
This is keep cat
This is a cat
This is dumbass cat
This is busy cat
This is for cat
This is forty cat
This is seconds cat

Now go back and read the THIRD word
in each line from the top.
Betcha you can't resist passing it on. LOL! ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Monday, 21 November 2011

An engineer was crossing a road one-day when a frog called out to him and said:
- If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess.
He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket.
The frog spoke up again and said:
- If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week.
The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and ... read all

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Thursday, 31 March 2005

A newlywed farmer and his wife were visited by her mother, who immediately demanded an inspection of the place. While they were walking through the barn, the farmer's mule suddenly reared up and kicked the mother-in-law in the head, killing her instantly.

At the funeral service a few days later, the farmer stood near the casket and greeted folks as they walked by. The pastor noticed that ... read all

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Friday, 19 December 2008

If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, itwill always be yours. If it doesn't come back, it was never yours to begin with. But, if it just sits in your living room, messes up your stuff, eats your food, uses your telephone, takes your money, and doesn't appear to realize that you had set it free... You either married it or gave birth to it ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Thursday, 9 August 2007

THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
1. Innovative
2. Preliminary
3. Proliferation
4. Cinnamon

THINGS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
1. Specificity
2. Anti-constitutionalistically
3. Passive-aggressive disorder
4. Tran substantiate

THINGS THAT ARE DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
1. No thanks, I'm married.
2. Nope, no more booze for me!
3. Sorry, but ... read all

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Thursday, 22 May 2008

A middle-aged couple had two beautiful daughters but always talked about having a son. They decided to try one last time for the son they always wanted.
The wife got pregnant and delivered a healthy baby boy. The joyful father rushed to the nursery to see his new son. He was horrified at the ugliest child he had ever seen.
He told his wife:
'There's no way I can be the father of this baby. ... read all

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Tuesday, 3 June 2008

Mr. Gable had a leak in the roof over his dining room, so he called a repairman to take a look at it. "When did you first notice the leak?" the repairman inquired.

Mr. Gable scowled. "Last night, when it took me two hours to finish my soup!" ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Thursday, 12 October 2006