Two lawyers arrive at the pub and ordered a couple of drinks. They then take sandwiches from their briefcases and began to...
proposed: 8 Jun 2011
TEACHER: George Washington not only
chopped down his father's cherry tree,
but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you
know why his father didn't punish him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the
axe in his hand.
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Friday, 1 May 2009
Each Friday night after work, Bubba
would fire up his outdoor grill and cook
venison steak. But all of Bubba's
neighbors were Catholic, and since it
was Lent, they were forbidden from
eating red meat on Friday.
The
delicious aroma from the grilled venison
steaks was causing such a problem for
the Catholic faithful that they finally
talked to their priest.
The priest
came to visit Bubba and
... read all Bancuri in Engleza (English) Thursday, 8 March 2007
All the scientists die and go to heaven.
They decide to play hide-n-seek.
Unfortunately Einstein is the one who
has the den. He is supposed to count up
to 100 and then start searching.
Everyone starts hiding except Newton.
Newton just draws a square of 1 meter
and stands in it right in front of
Einstein. Einstein's counting:
1,2,3..97,98,99,100.
He opens his
eyes and finds Newton standing in
... read all Bancuri in Engleza (English) Monday, 5 September 2005
"Davey, what sound does a cow make?"
Davey replied, "It goes 'moo.'"
"Alice, what sound does a cat make?"
Alice said, "It goes 'meow.'"
"Jamie, what sound does a lamb
make?"
Jamie said, "It goes 'baaa.'"
"Jennifer, what sound does a
mouse make?"
Jennifer paused, and
said, "Uhh. .. it goes. .. 'click!'"
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Tuesday, 14 August 2007
A woman goes into a department store and
tells the salesman she wants a pair of
pink curtains. He assures her they have
a good selection of pink curtains. He
shows her many kinds and different
fabrics of curtains she finally picks
out a pink floral pattern.
The
salesman asks, "What size do you need?"
She says, "15 inch."
He
exclaims, "15 INCHES! What room are they
for?"
She says, "It's not
... read all Bancuri in Engleza (English) Thursday, 24 November 2005
When Charles de Gaulle decided to retire
from public life, the British ambassador
and his wife threw a gala dinner party
in his honor. At the dinner table, the
Ambassador’s wife was talking with
Madame deGaulle:
- Your husband has
been such a prominent public figure,
such a presence on the French and
international scene for so many years!
How quiet retirement will seem in
comparison. What
... read all Bancuri in Engleza (English) Friday, 6 March 2009
A guy dies and is sent to Hell. Satan
meets him, shows him doors to three
rooms, and says he must choose one spend
eternity in.
In the first room,
people are standing in shit up to their
necks. The guy says "no, let me see the
next room."
In the second room,
people are standing with shit up to
their noses. Guy says no again.
Finally, Satan opens the door to the
third room. People are standing
... read all Bancuri in Engleza (English) Thursday, 2 February 2006
A lawyer runs a stop sign and gets
pulled over by a Cop. He thinks he is
smarter than the Cop so he decides to
have some fun at the Cop's expense.
Cop says:
- License and
registration, please.
Lawyer says:
- What for?
Cop says:
- You
didn't come to a complete stop at the
stop sign.
Lawyer says:
- I
slowed down, and no one was coming.
Cop says:
- Exactly! License and
registration,
... read all Bancuri in Engleza (English) Tuesday, 22 November 2005
About five years ago, the battery in my
beat-up VW Beetle had died because I
left the lights on overnight. I was in a
hurry to get to work on time, so I ran
into the house to get my wife to give me
a hand in starting the car.
I
told her to get into our second car, a
prehistoric oversized gas guzzler, and
use it to push my car fast enough to
start it. I pointed out to her that
because the VW
... read all Bancuri in Engleza (English) Friday, 18 January 2008
Man: God?
God: Yes!?
Man: Can I
ask you something?
God: Yes.
Man: What is for you a million of
years?
God: A second.
Man: And
a million of dollars?
God: A penny.
Man: God, Can you give me a penny?
God: Wait a second!
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Thursday, 27 October 2005
One spelling mistake can destroy your
life!
A husband wrote a message to
his wife on his business trip and forgot
to
add 'e' at the end of a word...
"I am having such a wonderful time!
I wish you were her..."
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Thursday, 7 April 2011
A father was trying to teach his young
son the evils of alcohol.
He
put one worm in a glass of water and
another worm in a glass of
whiskey.
The worm in the water lived, while the
one in the whiskey
curled up and
died.
"All right, son," asked
the father, "what does that show you?"
"Well, Dad, it shows that if
you drink alcohol, you will not have
worms."
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Monday, 18 August 2008
Manning the computer help desk for the
local school district was my first job.
And though I was just an intern, I took
the job very seriously. But not every
caller took me seriously.
- Can I
talk to a real person? a caller asked.
- I am real, I said.
- Oh, I'm
sorry, the caller said. That was rude of
me. What I meant to say was, could I
talk to someone who actually knows
something?
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Friday, 14 March 2008