Robert went to his lawyer and said: - I would like to make a will, but I don't know exactly how to go about it. The lawyer...
proposed: 8 Jun 2011
Robert went to his lawyer and said:
- I would like to make a will, but I
don't know exactly how to go about it.
The lawyer smiled at Robert and
replied:
- Not a problem, leave it
all to me.
Robert looked somewhat
upset and said:
- Well, I knew you
were going to take a big portion, but I
would like to leave a little to my
family too!
A linguistics professor was lecturing his class one day. - In English, he said, a double negative forms a positive. In some languages, though, such as Romanian, a double negative is still a [...]
previous joke Two lawyers arrive at the pub and ordered a couple of drinks. They then take sandwiches from their briefcases and began to eat. Seeing this, the angry publican approaches them and says, 'Excuse [...]
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WORDS
A husband read an article to his wife
about how many words women use a day:
30,000 to a man's 15,000.
The wife replied, 'The reason has to be
because we have to repeat everything to
men...
The husband then turned to his wife and
asked, 'What?'
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Sunday, 30 May 2010
Friends of women:
A wife was not at home for a whole
night. So she tells her husband, the
very next morning, that she stayed at
her girlfriend's apartment over
night. So the husband calls 10 of her
best girlfriends and none of them
confirm that.
Friends of men:
A husband was not at home for a whole
night. So he tells his wife the very
next morning, that he stayed at his
friend's
... read all Bancuri in Engleza (English) Tuesday, 28 September 2004
The graduate with a Science degree asks,
"Why does it work?"
The graduate with an Engineering degree
asks, "How does it work?"
The graduate with an Accounting degree
asks, "How much will it cost?"
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Thursday, 31 March 2005
1. Project Manager is a person who
thinks nine women can deliver a baby in
one month.
2. Developer is a person who thinks it
will take 18 months to deliver a baby.
3. Onsite Coordinator is one who thinks
a single woman can deliver nine babies
in one month.
4. Client is the one who doesn't
know why he wants a baby.
5. Marketing Manager is a person who
thinks he can deliver a baby even if no
... read all Bancuri in Engleza (English) Monday, 11 April 2005
Q: What's the difference between biology
and sociology?
A: When the baby looks like his dad or
mom, then it is biology. When the baby
looks like the neighbour, then it is
sociology.
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Monday, 5 February 2007
A father was trying to teach his young
son the evils of alcohol.
He put one worm in a glass of water and
another worm in a glass of
whiskey. The worm in the water lived,
while the one in the whiskey
curled up and died.
"All right, son," asked the father,
"what does that show you?"
"Well, Dad, it shows that if you drink
alcohol, you will not have
worms."
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Monday, 18 August 2008
A husband, the owner of a new car, was
somewhat reluctant to allow his wife to
drive his prize possession, even to the
grocery store, which was a few blocks
from the house.
After she insisted, he finally relented,
cautioning her as she departed,
"Remember, if you have an accident, the
newspaper will print your age."
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Thursday, 25 September 2008
Two mothers are having a conversation
about their children one day.
- How do you get your Marvin up so early
on school mornings? asks Joan.
- Oh, that's easy, replies Marianne. I
just throw the cat on his bed.
- Why does that wake him up?
- He sleeps with the dog!
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Thursday, 13 March 2008
- Pythagorean theorem: 24 words.
- The Lord's Prayer: 66 words.
- Archimedes' Principle: 67 words.
- The 10 Commandments: 179 words.
- The Gettysburg address: 286 words.
- The Declaration of Independence: 1,300
words.
- - - The US Government regulations on
the sale of cabbage: 26,911 words!!! - -
-
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Tuesday, 10 April 2007
A dog looks at its owner and thinks:
"You feed me, care for me, and love
me...you must be a god!"
A cat looks at its owner and thinks:
"You feed me, care for me, and love
me...I must be a god!"
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Wednesday, 17 August 2005
A couple had only been married for two
weeks and the husband, although very
much in love, couldn't wait to go out on
the town and party with his old buddies.
So, he said to his new wife, "Honey,
I'll be right back."
"Where are you going, Coochy Coo?" asked
the wife.
"I'm going to the bar, Pretty Face," he
answered. I'm going to have a beer."
The wife said, "You want a beer, my
love?" She
... read all Bancuri in Engleza (English) Wednesday, 8 August 2007
A Sunday school teacher was telling her
class the story of the Good Samaritan,
in which a man was beaten, robbed, and
left for dead. She described the
situation in vivid detail so her
students would catch the drama. Then she
asked the class, "If you saw a person
lying on the roadside, all wounded and
bleeding, what would you do?"
A thoughtful little girl broke the
hushed silence, "I think I'd
... read all Bancuri in Engleza (English) Wednesday, 2 May 2007
A man drinks a shot of whisky every
night before bed. After years of this,
his wife wants him to quit; she gets two
shot glasses, filling one with water and
the other with whisky.
After getting him to the table that has
the glasses, she brings his bait box.
She says, "I want you to see this." She
puts a worm in the water, and it swims
around.
She puts a worm in the whisky, and the
worm dies
... read all Bancuri in Engleza (English) Friday, 8 December 2006