Phrases For Your Out-Of-The-Office E-Mail Auto-Reply: - I am currently out at a job interview and will reply to you if I...

Joke from category: Bancuri in Engleza (English)

proposed: 18 Oct 2004

Phrases For Your "Out-Of-The-Office" E-Mail Auto-Reply:

- I am currently out at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position. Be prepared for my mood.

- I'm not really out of the office. I'm just ignoring you.

- You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn't have received anything at all.

- Sorry to have missed you but I am at the doctors having my brain removed so that I may be promoted to management

- I will be unable to delete all the unread, worthless emails you send me until I return from vacation on 4/18. Please be patient and your mail will be deleted in the order it was received.

- Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been charged $5.99 for the first ten words and $1.99 for each additional word in your message.

- The e-mail server is unable to verify your server connection and is unable to deliver this message. Please restart your computer and try sending again. 'The beauty of it is that when I return, I can see how many in-duh-viduals did this over and over.

- Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing system.

- You are currently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive a reply in approximately 19 weeks.

- Please reply to this e-mail so I will know that you got this message.

- I am on holiday. Your e-mail has been deleted.

- Hi. I'm thinking about what you've just sent me. Please wait by your PC for my response.

- Hi! I'm busy negotiating the salary for my new job. Don't bother to leave me any messages.

- I've run away to join a different circus.

- AND, FINALLY, ABSOLUTELY THE BEST:
I will be out of the office for the next 2 weeks for medical reasons. When I return, please refer to me as 'Loretta' instead of 'Steve'.'

Marriage is the only war where you get to sleep with the enemy.
previous joke
I'm sorry that you haven't gotten much email from me lately. It's because I'm tired. For a couple years I've been blaming it on iron poor blood, lack of vitamins, dieting and a dozen other maladies. [...]
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Seeing this, the angry publican approaches them and says, 'Excuse me, but you cannot eat your own sandwiches in here!'
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Bancuri in Engleza (English) Friday, 23 February 2007


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Bancuri in Engleza (English) Thursday, 18 April 2013


A lady about eight months pregnant got on a bus. She noticed the man opposite her was smiling at her. So she immediately moved to another seat.
This time the smile turned to a grin, so she moved again. The man seemed even more amused. When, on the fourth move, the man burst out laughing, she complained to the driver and he had the man arrested.
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Bancuri in Engleza (English) Monday, 2 July 2007


TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand. ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Friday, 1 May 2009


News from Heaven: Due to the current
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moment, the light at the end of the
tunnel will be switched off to save on
electricity costs, until further ...News from Heaven: Due to the current financial crisis facing the world at the moment, the light at the end of the tunnel will be switched off to save on electricity costs, until further notice.

Sincerely yours,
God ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Friday, 21 November 2008


One sunny day in 2005 an old man approached the White House from across Pennsylvania Ave, where he'd been sitting on a park bench. He spoke to the US Marine standing guard and said, "I would like to go in and meet with President Bush."
The Marine looked at the man and said, "Sir, Mr. Bush is no longer president and no longer resides here." The old man said, "Okay" and walked away.
The following ... read all

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Thursday, 24 November 2005


A few years ago, I decided to visit my brother who was stationed in Germany. I assumed that most Germans would speak English. But I found that many people spoke only their native tongue - including the ticket inspector on the train.
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Bancuri in Engleza (English) Friday, 20 October 2006


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All of the males in the class wrote:
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All the females in the class wrote:
"A woman: without her, man is nothing."

Punctuation is powerful ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Tuesday, 31 August 2004


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Bancuri in Engleza (English) Thursday, 31 March 2005


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- Deloitte & Touche = Delighted to kill our employees. Touchė!!! ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Friday, 27 April 2007


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A loud voice from the back of the room piped up:
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Cop says:
- You didn't come to a complete stop at the stop sign.
Lawyer says:
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Cop says:
- Exactly! License ... read all

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Tuesday, 22 November 2005


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Bancuri in Engleza (English) Thursday, 19 July 2007