WIFE VS. HUSBAND A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an...
proposed: 30 May 2010
WIFE VS. HUSBAND
A couple drove down
a country road for several miles, not
saying a word.
An earlier discussion
had led to an argument and neither of
them wanted to concede their position..
As they passed a barnyard of mules,
goats, and pigs, the husband asked
sarcastically, 'Relatives of yours?'
'Yep,' the wife replied, 'in-laws.'
CIGARETTES AND TAMPONS A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up & down the aisles.. The sales girl notices him and asks him if she can help him. He answers that he is looking for a box [...]
previous joke WORDS A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day: 30,000 to a man's 15,000. The wife replied, 'The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything [...]
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At a U2 concert in Ireland, Bono (the
lead singer) asks the audience for some
quiet. Then he starts to slowly clap his
hands. Holding the audience in total
silence, he says into the microphone...
"I want you to think about something.
Every time I clap my hands, a child in
Africa dies."
A voice from the front of the audience
yells out...
"Then ****** stop clapping, ya
********!"
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Tuesday, 19 June 2007
Woman's revenge...
- Cash, check or charge? I asked, after
folding items the woman wished to
purchase.
As she fumbled for her wallet, I noticed
a remote control for a television set in
her purse.
- So, do you always carry your TV
remote? I asked.
- No, she replied, but my husband
refused to come shopping with me, and I
figured this was the most evil thing I
could do to him legally.
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Friday, 7 May 2010
There is an old story about a mother who
walks in on her six-year-old son and
finds him sobbing. "What's the matter?"
she asks.
"I've just figured out how to tie my
shoes."
"Well, honey, that's wonderful." Being a
wise mother, she recognizes his victory
in the Eriksonian struggle of autonomy
versus doubt: "You're growing up, but
why are you crying?"
"Because," he says, "now I'll have to do
it
... read all Bancuri in Engleza (English) Friday, 20 April 2007
Once upon a time in a land far away, a
beautiful, independent, self-assured
princess happened upon a frog as she sat
contemplating ecological issues on the
shores of an unpolluted pond in a
verdant meadow near her castle. The frog
hopped into the princess' lap and said:
- Elegant Lady, I was once a handsome
prince, until an evil witch cast a spell
upon me. One kiss from you, however, and
I will
... read all Bancuri in Engleza (English) Wednesday, 12 September 2007
Dr. Marc Faber, investment guru,
concluded his monthly bulletin (June
2008) with the following comments:
"The federal government is sending each
of us a $600 rebate. If we spend that
money at Wal-Mart, the money goes to
China. If we spend it on gasoline it
goes to the Arabs. If we buy a computer,
it will go to India. If we purchase
fruits and vegetables it will go to
Mexico, Honduras and
... read all Bancuri in Engleza (English) Friday, 3 April 2009
A ragged individual stranded for several
months on a small desert island in the
middle of the Pacific Ocean noticed a
bottle lying in the sand with a piece of
paper in it. Rushing to the bottle, he
pulled out the cork and with shaking
hands withdrew the message.
"Due to lack of maintenance," he read,
"we regretfully have found it necessary
to cancel your e-mail account."
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Wednesday, 23 May 2007
A man follows a woman out of a movie
theatre. She has a dog on a leash. He
stops her and says, "I'm sorry to
bother you, but I couldn't help but
notice that your dog was really into the
movie. He cried at the right spots, he
moved nervously in his seat at the
boring parts, but most of all, he
laughed like crazy at the funny parts.
Did you find that unusual?"
"Yes," she replied, "I found
... read all Bancuri in Engleza (English) Monday, 18 October 2004
Lady: Is this my train?
Station Master: No, it belongs to the
Railway Company.
Lady: Don't try to be funny. I mean to
ask if I can take this train to New
Delhi.
Station Master: No Madam, I'm afraid
it's too heavy.
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Tuesday, 27 February 2007
If you love something, set it free. If
it comes back, itwill always be yours.
If it doesn't come back, it was never
yours to begin with. But, if it just
sits in your living room, messes up your
stuff, eats your food, uses your
telephone, takes your money, and doesn't
appear to realize that you had set it
free... You either married it or gave
birth to it
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Thursday, 9 August 2007
A crew of highway maintenance workers
was sent to repair some road signs that
vandals had knocked down in a forested
area. The first one they put back up was
a symbol warning of a deer crossing.
As they moved down the road to repair
the next sign, one crew member looked
back and spotted a deer running across
the highway.
She turned to a co-worker and said, "I
wonder how long he's been waiting to
... read all Bancuri in Engleza (English) Monday, 11 June 2007
Our pastor, an avid golfer, was once
taking part in a local tournament. As he
was preparing to tee off, the organizer
of the tournament approached him and
pointed to the dark, threatening storm
clouds that were gathering.
"Preacher," the organizer said, "I trust
you'll see to it that the weather won't
turn bad on us."
Our pastor shook his head. "Sorry," he
replied. "I'm sales, not management!"
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Wednesday, 29 October 2008
There are 2 people always next to you:
The Manager, smiling pleasantly to hide
evil intentions!
The Team Leader, busy figuring out what
work to dump on you next...
And, there's YOU, who struggles with it
all!
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Sunday, 22 June 2008
A husband, the owner of a new car, was
somewhat reluctant to allow his wife to
drive his prize possession, even to the
grocery store, which was a few blocks
from the house.
After she insisted, he finally relented,
cautioning her as she departed,
"Remember, if you have an accident, the
newspaper will print your age."
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Thursday, 25 September 2008
A clergyman, walking down a country
lane, saw a young farmer struggling to
load hay back onto a cart after it had
fallen off.
- You look tired, my son, said the
cleric. Why don't you rest a moment, and
I'll give you a hand.
- No thanks, said the young man. My
father wouldn't approve.
- Don't be silly, the minister said.
Everyone is entitled to a break. Come
and have a drink of water.
Again the
... read all Bancuri in Engleza (English) Thursday, 3 May 2007
A woman goes into a department store and
tells the salesman she wants a pair of
pink curtains. He assures her they have
a good selection of pink curtains. He
shows her many kinds and different
fabrics of curtains she finally picks
out a pink floral pattern.
The salesman asks, "What size do you
need?"
She says, "15 inch."
He exclaims, "15 INCHES! What room are
they for?"
She says, "It's not for a
... read all Bancuri in Engleza (English) Thursday, 24 November 2005