CIGARETTES AND TAMPONS A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up & down the aisles.. The sales girl notices him and asks him...
proposed: 30 May 2010
CIGARETTES AND TAMPONS
A man walks
into a pharmacy and wanders up & down
the aisles..
The sales girl notices
him and asks him if she can help him. He
answers that he is looking for a box of
tampons for his wife. She directs him
down the correct aisle.
A few
minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of
cotton balls and a ball of string on the
counter.
She says, confused, 'Sir, I
thought you were looking for some
tampons for your wife?
He answers,
'You see, it's like this, yesterday, I
sent my wife to the store to get me a
carton of cigarettes, and she came back
with a tin of tobacco and some rolling
papers; cause it's sooo much cheaper.
So, I figure if I have to roll my
own, so does she...
UNDERSTANDING WOMEN (A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE) I know I'm not going to understand women. I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax, pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by [...]
previous joke WIFE VS. HUSBAND A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their [...]
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My sister, a truck driver, had decided
to get a dog for protection. As she
inspected a likely candidate, the
trainer told her, "He doesn't like men."
Perfect, my sister thought, and took the
dog.
Then one day, two men in a parking lot
approached her, and she watched to see
how her canine bodyguard would react.
Soon it became clear that the trainer
wasn't kidding. As the men got closer,
the dog
... read all Bancuri in Engleza (English) Wednesday, 13 June 2007
This year, taxpayers will receive an
Economic Stimulus Payment. This is a
very exciting new program that I will
explain using the Q and A
format:
"Q. What is an Economic Stimulus
Payment?
"A. It is money that the federal
government will send to taxpayers.
"Q. Where will the government get this
money?
"A. From taxpayers.
"Q. So the government is giving me back
my own money?
"A. No, they are
... read all Bancuri in Engleza (English) Wednesday, 28 January 2009
On a sunny morning, William's mother
came into her son's room and said,
"William, it's Sunday. Time to get up!
Time to get up and go to church! Get
up!"
From under the covers came mumbles, "I
don't want to go!"
"What do you mean?" she said. "That's
silly! Now get up and get dressed and go
to church!"
"No!" he shot back. "I'll give you two
reasons. I don't like them and they
don't like
... read all Bancuri in Engleza (English) Saturday, 14 July 2007
A dog walks into an employment agency
and says:
- I'd like to get a job please.
The guy at the employment agency says:
- Wow, you could easily get a job at the
circus, with your talents!
The dog replys:
- What would the circus want with a
plumber?
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Tuesday, 19 November 2013
I've sure gotten old. I've had two
bypass surgeries, a hip replacement, and
new knees. Fought prostate cancer and
diabetes. I'm half blind, can't hear
anything quieter than a jet engine, and
take 40 different medications that make
me dizzy, winded, and subject to
blackouts. Have bouts with dementia.
Have poor circulation; hardly feel my
hands and feet anymore. Can't remember
if I'm 85 or 92. Have
... read all Bancuri in Engleza (English) Monday, 11 December 2006
If you love something, set it free. If
it comes back, itwill always be yours.
If it doesn't come back, it was never
yours to begin with. But, if it just
sits in your living room, messes up your
stuff, eats your food, uses your
telephone, takes your money, and doesn't
appear to realize that you had set it
free... You either married it or gave
birth to it
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Thursday, 9 August 2007
A linguistics professor was lecturing
his class one day.
- In English, he said, a double negative
forms a positive. In some languages,
though, such as Romanian, a double
negative is still a negative. However,
there is no language wherein a double
positive can form a negative.
A loud voice from the back of the room
piped up:
- Yeah, right.
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Wednesday, 8 June 2011
FEMALE PRAYER
Before I lay me down to sleep,
I pray for a man, who's not a creep,
One who's handsome, smart and strong
One who loves to listen long,
One who thinks before he speaks,
One who'll call, not wait for weeks.
I pray he's gainfully employed,
When I spend his cash, won't be
annoyed.
Pulls out my chair and opens my door,
Massages me back and begs to do more.
Oh! Send me
... read all Bancuri in Engleza (English) Tuesday, 23 August 2005
The man told his doctor that he wasn't
able to do all the things around the
house that he used to do. When the
examination was complete, he said:
- Now, Doc, I can take it. Tell me in
plain English what is wrong with me.
- Well, in plain English, the doctor
replied, you're just lazy.
- Okay, said the man. Now give me the
medical term so I can tell my wife.
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Thursday, 2 June 2011
TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical
formula for water?
DONALD: H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O.
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Wednesday, 26 November 2008
An elderly couple, Margaret and Bert,
moved to Texas.
Bert always wanted a pair of authentic
cowboy boots, so, seeing some on sale,
he bought them and wore them home.
Walking proudly, he sauntered into the
kitchen and said to his wife, "Notice
anything different about me?"
Margaret looked him over.. "Nope."
Frustrated, Bert stormed off into the
bathroom, undressed and walked back into
the kitchen
... read all Bancuri in Engleza (English) Tuesday, 27 January 2009
A young lady visited the government
matchmaker for marriage and requested:
"I'm looking for a spouse. Can you
please help me to find a suitable one?"
The marriage officer said: "Your
requirements please."
"Well, let me see. Needs to be good
looking, polite, humorous, sporty,
knowledgeable, good at singing and
dancing.
Willing to accompany me the whole day at
home during my leisure hour, if I
... read all Bancuri in Engleza (English) Monday, 27 August 2007
UNDERSTANDING WOMEN (A MAN'S
PERSPECTIVE)
I know I'm not going to understand
women.
I'll never understand how you can take
boiling hot wax, pour it onto your upper
thigh, rip the hair out by the root, and
still be afraid of a spider.
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Thursday, 13 May 2010