TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested? HAROLD: A teacher

Joke from category: Bancuri in Engleza (English)

proposed by: Claudia on date: 1 May 2009

TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD: A teacher

TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him? LOUIS: Because George still had the axe [...]
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Success is just like being pregnant. Everybody congratulates you but nobody knows how many times you tried!
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A pastor, a doctor and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer fumed:
- What's with these guys? We must have been waiting for 15 minutes!
The doctor chimed in:
- I don't know, but I've never seen such ineptitude!
The pastor said:
- Hey, here comes the greens keeper. Let's have a word with him.... Hi George! Say, what's ... read all

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Thursday, 31 March 2005


Subject: Geography lesson for the Day


THE GEOGRAPHY OF A WOMAN

Between 18 and 20 a woman is like Africa, half discovered, half wild, naturally beautiful with fertile deltas.

Between 21 and 30 a woman is like America, well-developed and open to trade, especially for someone with cash.

Between 31 and 35 she is like India, very hot, relaxed and
convinced of her own beauty.

Between ... read all

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Wednesday, 10 November 2004


European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.
As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".
In the first year, "s" will ... read all

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Wednesday, 5 April 2006


Marriage is the only war where you get to sleep with the enemy. ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Monday, 18 October 2004


THE WORLD'S SHORTEST FAIRY TALE:
Once upon a time a guy asked a girl: "Will you marry me?" The girl said "NO!" And the guy lived happily ever after and went fishing, hunting and played golf a lot and drank beer and farted whenever he wanted.
THE END ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Monday, 16 January 2006


Statement: Senior Citizens Are Valuable!
We are more valuable than any of the younger generations:
- We have silver in our hair.
- We have gold in our teeth.
- We have stones in our kidneys.
- We have lead in our feet and.
- We are loaded with natural gas ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Tuesday, 26 February 2008


UNDERSTANDING WOMEN (A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE)
I know I'm not going to understand women.
I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax, pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root, and still be afraid of a spider. ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Thursday, 13 May 2010


Jack, who is a smart businessman, talks to his son
Jack: I want you to marry a girl of my choice
Son: "I will choose my own bride!"
Jack: "But the girl is Bill Gates's daughter."
Son: "Well, in that case..."

Next Jack approaches Bill Gates.
Jack: "I have a husband for your daughter."
Bill Gates: "But my daughter is too young to marry!"
Jack: "But this young man is a ... read all

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Thursday, 29 September 2005


A wife asked her husband: "What do you like most in me, my pretty face or my sexy body?"
He looked at her from head to toes and replied after a pause: "I like your sense of humor!" ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Monday, 10 January 2005


Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What's the nature of your emergency?
Caller: My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart!
Dispatcher: Is this her first child?
Caller: This is her husband! ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Thursday, 12 April 2007


Two cows are conversing in a field. The first one says to the other, "Have you heard about this 'mad cow disease' that is going around?"
The second cow responds, "Yeah, but I'm not worried about it; I'm an airplane!" ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Wednesday, 23 July 2008


TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD: A teacher ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Friday, 1 May 2009


Bill and Diane were in a terrible accident and Diane's face was severely burned.

The doctor told Bill that they couldn't graft any skin from her body because she was too skinny.

So Bill offered to donate some of his own skin. However, the only skin on his body that the doctor felt was suitable would have to come from his buttocks.

The husband and wife agreed that they would ... read all

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Tuesday, 31 August 2004


A big earthquake with the strength of 8.1 on the Richter scale hits Mexico. Two million Mexicans have died and over a million are injured. The country is totally ruined and the government doesn't know where to start with asking for help to rebuild.
The rest of the world is in shock.
Canada is sending troopers to help the Mexican army control the riots.
Saudi Arabia is sending oil.
Other ... read all

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Wednesday, 31 May 2006


After school one day, a young first-grade boy was sitting at the kitchen table, eating his afternoon snack, when he blurted out, "Mom, the teacher was asking me today if I have any brothers or sisters who will be coming to school."
The boy's mother replied, "That's nice of her to take such an interest, dear. What did she say when you told her you are an only child?"
She just said, "Thank ... read all

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Monday, 10 March 2008