A husband, the owner of a new car, was somewhat reluctant to allow his wife to drive his prize possession, even to the grocery...
proposed by: Carp on date: 25 Sep 2008
A husband, the owner of a new car, was
somewhat reluctant to allow his wife to
drive his prize possession, even to the
grocery store, which was a few blocks
from the house.
After she insisted,
he finally relented, cautioning her as
she departed, "Remember, if you have an
accident, the newspaper will print your
age."
Two guys walk into a bar, separately, and have a seat at the bar. One guy notices the other has a black eye, just like him. “Hey buddy, how’d you get your shiner?” [...]
previous joke Our pastor, an avid golfer, was once taking part in a local tournament. As he was preparing to tee off, the organizer of the tournament approached him and pointed to the dark, threatening [...]
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"Davey, what sound does a cow make?"
Davey replied, "It goes 'moo.'"
"Alice, what sound does a cat make?"
Alice said, "It goes 'meow.'"
"Jamie, what sound does a lamb
make?"
Jamie said, "It goes 'baaa.'"
"Jennifer, what sound does a
mouse make?"
Jennifer paused, and
said, "Uhh. .. it goes. .. 'click!'"
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Tuesday, 14 August 2007
A man called home to his wife and said,
"Honey I have been asked to go
fishing up in Canada with my boss &
several of his friends. We'll be
gone for a week. This is a good
opportunity for me to get that promotion
I've been wanting so could you
please pack enough clothes for a week
and set out my rod and fishing box?
We're leaving from the office & I
will swing by the house to pick
... read all Bancuri in Engleza (English) Monday, 18 October 2004
A hamster and a rat were sitting on the
side of a swimming pool. They were
enjoying the sun. Suddenly the rat
turned to the hamster and asked him:
Dude,
How come people
consider me a noisance, and you a pet?
How come people pay money to have
you, while they are trying to kill me?
How come you are considered a cute
little animal, while I am considered
creepy and disgusting?
How come you
... read all Bancuri in Engleza (English) Wednesday, 8 September 2004
THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN
DRUNK:
1. Innovative
2.
Preliminary
3. Proliferation
4.
Cinnamon
THINGS THAT ARE VERY
DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
1.
Specificity
2.
Anti-constitutionalistically
3.
Passive-aggressive disorder
4. Tran
substantiate
THINGS THAT ARE
DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
1. No thanks, I'm married.
2.
Nope, no more booze for me!
3.
Sorry, but
... read all Bancuri in Engleza (English) Thursday, 22 May 2008
Our pastor, an avid golfer, was once
taking part in a local tournament. As he
was preparing to tee off, the organizer
of the tournament approached him and
pointed to the dark, threatening storm
clouds that were gathering.
"Preacher," the organizer said, "I
trust you'll see to it that the weather
won't turn bad on us."
Our pastor
shook his head. "Sorry," he replied.
"I'm sales, not management!"
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Wednesday, 29 October 2008
This year, taxpayers will receive an
Economic Stimulus Payment. This is a
very exciting new program that I will
explain using the Q and A
format:
"Q. What is an Economic
Stimulus Payment?
"A. It is money
that the federal government will send to
taxpayers.
"Q. Where will the
government get this money?
"A. From
taxpayers.
"Q. So the
government is giving me back my own
money?
"A. No,
... read all Bancuri in Engleza (English) Wednesday, 28 January 2009
I went to the cinema the other day and
in the front row was an old man and with
him was his dog. It was a sad funny kind
of film, you know the type. In the sad
part, the dog cried his eyes out, and in
the funny part, the dog laughed its head
off. This happened all the way through
the film. After the film had ended, I
decided to go and speak to the man:
- That's the most amazing thing I've
seen,
... read all Bancuri in Engleza (English) Monday, 14 November 2011
One night while I was cat-sitting my
daughter's indoor feline, it escaped
outside. When it failed to return the
following morning, I found the beast
clinging to a branch about 30 feet up in
a spindly tree. Unable to lure it down,
I called the fire department.
"We
don't do that anymore," the woman
dispatcher said. When I persisted, she
was polite but firm. "The cat will come
down when it gets
... read all Bancuri in Engleza (English) Tuesday, 30 January 2007
See if you can do this. Read each line
aloud.
This is this cat
This is is cat
This is how cat
This is to cat
This is keep cat
This is a cat
This is genius cat
This is busy cat
This is for cat
This is forty cat
This is
seconds cat
Now go back and
read the THIRD word
in each line
from the top.
Betcha you can't
resist passing it on. LOL!
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Monday, 21 November 2011
A guy dies and is sent to Hell. Satan
meets him, shows him doors to three
rooms, and says he must choose one spend
eternity in.
In the first room,
people are standing in shit up to their
necks. The guy says "no, let me see the
next room."
In the second room,
people are standing with shit up to
their noses. Guy says no again.
Finally, Satan opens the door to the
third room. People are standing
... read all Bancuri in Engleza (English) Thursday, 2 February 2006
A linguistics professor was lecturing
his class one day.
- In English, he
said, a double negative forms a
positive. In some languages, though,
such as Romanian, a double negative is
still a negative. However, there is no
language wherein a double positive can
form a negative.
A loud voice from
the back of the room piped up:
-
Yeah, right.
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Wednesday, 8 June 2011
One spelling mistake can destroy your
life!
A husband wrote a message to
his wife on his business trip and forgot
to
add 'e' at the end of a word...
"I am having such a wonderful time!
I wish you were her..."
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Thursday, 7 April 2011