A husband, the owner of a new car, was somewhat reluctant to allow his wife to drive his prize possession, even to the grocery...
proposed by: Carp on date: 25 Sep 2008
A husband, the owner of a new car, was
somewhat reluctant to allow his wife to
drive his prize possession, even to the
grocery store, which was a few blocks
from the house. Two guys walk into a bar, separately, and have a seat at the bar. One guy notices the other has a black eye, just like him. “Hey buddy, how’d you get your shiner?” [...]
After she insisted,
he finally relented, cautioning her as
she departed, "Remember, if you have an
accident, the newspaper will print your
previous joke Young Chuck moved to Texas and bought a Donkey from a farmer for $100. The farmer agreed to deliver the Donkey the next day. The next day he drove up and said, 'Sorry son, but I have [...]
All the scientists die and go to heaven.
They decide to play hide-n-seek.
Unfortunately Einstein is the one who
has the den. He is supposed to count up
to 100 and then start searching.
Everyone starts hiding except Newton.
Newton just draws a square of 1 meter
and stands in it right in front of
Einstein. Einstein's counting:
He opens his
eyes and finds Newton standing in ... read all
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Monday, 5 September 2005
Queen Elizabeth II, George W Bush &
Traian Basescu died & went straight to
Queen Elizabeth II said
"I miss Britain, I want to call Britain
and see how everybody is doing there.
She called and talked for about 5
minutes, then her Majesty asked "Well,
Devil how much do I owe you? The devil
replied "Five million dollars" She wrote
him a cheque and went to sit back on her
George ... read all
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Friday, 27 October 2006
I went to the cinema the other day and
in the front row was an old man and with
him was his dog. It was a sad funny kind
of film, you know the type. In the sad
part, the dog cried his eyes out, and in
the funny part, the dog laughed its head
off. This happened all the way through
the film. After the film had ended, I
decided to go and speak to the man:
- That's the most amazing thing I've
seen, ... read all
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Monday, 14 November 2011
School: Define The Following Terms
Antibody: Against everyone.
Artery: The study of fine paintings.
Bacteria: Back door to a cafeteria.
Benign: What you've been after
Cardiology: Advance study of
Cat Scan: Searching
for lost kitty.
Chronic: Neck of a
Coma: Punctuation mark.
Cyst: Short of sister.
Diagnosis: Person with slanted nose.
Dislocation: In ... read all
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Wednesday, 2 March 2005
Two engineering students were walking
across campus when one said:
did you get such a great bike?
second engineer replied:
- Well, I
was walking along yesterday minding my
own business when a beautiful woman rode
up on this bike. She threw the bike to
the ground, took off all her clothes and
said, "Take what you want."
second engineer nodded approvingly:
- Good choice; the ... read all
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Thursday, 31 March 2005
Thoughts from USA...
When NASA first started
sending up astronauts, they quickly
discovered that ball-point pens would
not work in zero gravity. To combat this
problem, NASA scientists spent a decade
and $12 billion developing a pen that
writes in zero gravity, upside-down, on
almost any surface including glass and
at temperatures ranging from below
freezing to over 300 ... read all
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Friday, 10 March 2006
Many hymnals have a hymn called "Gladly
the Cross I'd Bear."
that one week when the church secretary
was typing the Sunday
asked the pastor which hymn would come
just before the
sermon. He replied
with the above-mentioned hymn.
The following Sunday the bulletin
Hymn No. 134: "Gladly,
the Cross-eyed Bear." ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Thursday, 16 October 2008
01. While working with Mr. Ionescu, I
have always found him
studiously and sincerely at his table
03. gossiping with
colleagues in the office. He seldom
04. wastes his time on useless
things. Given a job, he always
finishes the given assignment in time.
He is always
06. deeply engrossed in
his official work, and can never be
07. found chitchatting in the
canteen. He ... read all
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Thursday, 2 June 2011
Gravitation is not responsible for
people falling in love.
think of the future. It comes soon
The only thing that
interferes with my learning is my
Education is what remains
after one has forgotten everything he
learned in school.
Two things are
infinite: the universe and human
stupidity; and I'm not sure about
Wire telegraph is a
kind of a very, ... read all
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Tuesday, 12 April 2005
This coming week is National Mental
Health Care week.
You can do
your part by remembering to contact at
least one unstable person to show you
Well, my job is done! ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Thursday, 18 January 2007
An engineer was crossing a road one-day
when a frog called out to him and said:
- If you kiss me, I'll turn into
a beautiful princess.
He bent over,
picked up the frog and put it in his
The frog spoke up again and
- If you kiss me and turn me
back into a beautiful princess, I will
stay with you for one week.
engineer took the frog out of his
pocket, smiled at it and ... read all
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Thursday, 31 March 2005
The truth about working in the IT
1. We work weird
2. They pay you to
make the client happy...
client pays a lot of money, but your
employer keeps almost every penny...
4. You are rewarded for fulfilling
the client's dreams...
friends fall apart and you end up
hanging out with people in the same
profession as you...
6. When you
have to meet the ... read all
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Monday, 27 November 2006
A couple was going out for the evening.
They'd gotten ready, all dolled up,
dog put out, etc. The taxi arrives, and
as the couple start out, the dog shoots
back in the house. They don't want
the dog shut in the house,so the wife
goes out to the taxi while the husband
goes upstairs to chase the dog out.
The wife, not wanting it known that
the house will be empty explains to the
taxi ... read all
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Tuesday, 31 August 2004
A truck driver had to deliver five
hundred penguins to the state zoo. As he
was driving his truck through the
desert, the truck broke down.
After waiting by the side of the
road for about three hours, he waved
another truck down and offered the
driver $500 to take the penguins to the
state zoo for him.
day, the first truck driver arrived in
town and saw the second truck driver ... read all
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Monday, 3 December 2007
These individual quotes were reportedly
taken from actual employee performance
evaluations throughout the U.S.
Hopefully, none of us will be seeing
similar ones on ours.
- Since my
last report, this employee has reached
rock bottom and has started to dig.
- His men would follow him anywhere,
but only out of curiosity.
- I would
not allow this employee to breed.
This employee is really not ... read all
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Friday, 22 September 2006