Manning the computer help desk for the local school district was my first job. And though I was just an intern, I took the job...
proposed: 14 Mar 2008
Two mothers are having a conversation
about their children one day.
- How
do you get your Marvin up so early on
school mornings? asks Joan.
- Oh,
that's easy, replies Marianne. I just
throw the cat on his bed.
- Why does
that wake him up?
- He sleeps with
the dog!
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Thursday, 13 March 2008
A mother and a daughter are shopping in
the mall, when the mother eyes an
expensive fur coat.
"This year," she
says, "I think that I will buy my
present instead of making you and Dad
shop for me." The daughter nods in
agreement. "And I think this fur coat
would be perfect too."
The daughter
protests, "But Mom, some helpless, poor
creature has to suffer so that you can
have this."
"Don't worry,
... read all Bancuri in Engleza (English) Thursday, 7 February 2008
A soldier stationed in Iraq recently
received a "Dear John" letter from his
girlfriend back home. It read as
follows:
Dear Ricky,
I can
no longer continue our relationship. The
distance between us is just too great. I
must admit that I have cheated on you
twice, since you've been gone, and
it's not fair to either of us.
I'm sorry.
Please return the
picture of me that I sent to
... read all Bancuri in Engleza (English) Friday, 10 June 2005
Explicatii de dat atunci cand nu va merg
aplicatiile si programele.
COUNT DOWN......
20.
"That's weird..."
19. "It's never
done that before."
18. "It worked
yesterday."
17. "How is that
possible?"
16. "It must be a
hardware problem."
15. "What did you
type in wrong to get it to crash?"
14. "There is something funky in
your data."
13. "I haven't touched
that module in weeks!"
12.
... read all Bancuri in Engleza (English) Tuesday, 28 November 2006
Have you heard of the Air Force's
ultra-high-security, super-secret base
in Nevada, known simply as "Area 51"?
Well, late one afternoon, the
Air Force folks out at Area 51 were very
surprised to see a Cessna landing at
their "secret" base. They immediately
impounded the aircraft and hauled the
pilot into an interrogation room.
The pilot's story was that he took
off from Las Vegas, got lost,
... read all Bancuri in Engleza (English) Monday, 10 December 2007
Students at a school were asked to write
about the harmful effects of oil on
fish.
One 11-year-old wrote, "When
my mom opened a tin of sardines last
night, it was full of oil and all the
sardines were dead."
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Friday, 4 May 2007
Sweetheart:
I can't send my
salary this month, so I am sending 100
kisses. You are my sweetheart.
Your husband,
Allen
...
His wife replied back after some
days to her husband:
Dearest
sweetheart,
Thanks for your 100
kisses, I am sending the expenses
details:
1. The Milk man agreed on 2
kisses for one month's milk.
2.
The electricity man only agreed after 7
kisses.
3.
... read all Bancuri in Engleza (English) Tuesday, 13 September 2005
I'm sorry that you haven't
gotten much email from me lately.
It's because I'm tired. For a
couple years I've been blaming it on
iron poor blood, lack of vitamins,
dieting and a dozen other maladies. But
now I found out the real reason. I'm
tired because I'm overworked.
The population of this country is
237 million. 104 million are retired.
That leaves 133 million to
... read all Bancuri in Engleza (English) Monday, 18 October 2004
A Chinese couple got married. When a
baby girl was born, her eyes were big
and blue, hair was curly and blonde,
skin was brown. Finally, the father
named the baby SUM TING RONG."
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Monday, 11 September 2006
1. Project Manager is a person who
thinks nine women can deliver a baby in
one month.
2. Developer is a person
who thinks it will take 18 months to
deliver a baby.
3. Onsite
Coordinator is one who thinks a single
woman can deliver nine babies in one
month.
4. Client is the one who
doesn't know why he wants a baby.
5. Marketing Manager is a person who
thinks he can deliver a baby even if
... read all Bancuri in Engleza (English) Monday, 11 April 2005
- Pythagorean theorem: 24 words.
-
The Lord's Prayer: 66 words.
-
Archimedes' Principle: 67 words.
-
The 10 Commandments: 179 words.
-
The Gettysburg address: 286 words.
-
The Declaration of Independence: 1,300
words.
- - - The US Government
regulations on the sale of cabbage:
26,911 words!!! - - -
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Tuesday, 10 April 2007
FINAL EXAM
The student reports
for his university final examination
that consists of yes/no type questions.
He takes his seat in the examination
hall, stares at the question paper for
five minutes and then, in a fit of
inspiration, takes out a coin and starts
tossing it, marking the answer sheet:
Yes, for Heads, and! No, for Tails.
Within half an hour he is all done,
whereas the rest of the
... read all Bancuri in Engleza (English) Tuesday, 31 August 2004
European Commission has just announced
an agreement whereby English will be the
official language of the European Union
rather than German, which was the other
possibility.
As part of the
negotiations, the British Government
conceded that English spelling had some
room for improvement and has accepted a
5- year phase-in plan that would become
known as "Euro-English".
In the
first year, "s" will
... read all Bancuri in Engleza (English) Wednesday, 5 April 2006