After school one day, a young first-grade boy was sitting at the kitchen table, eating his afternoon snack, when he blurted out,...
Joke from category: Bancuri in Engleza (English)
proposed by: carp on date: 10 Mar 2008
After school one day, a young first-grade boy was sitting at the kitchen table, eating his afternoon snack, when he blurted out, "Mom, the teacher was asking me today if I have any brothers or sisters who will be coming to school."
previous joke Two mothers are having a conversation about their children one day. - How do you get your Marvin up so early on school mornings? asks Joan. - Oh, that's easy, replies Marianne. I just throw [...]
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A baby polar bear comes up to his mother and asks, "Momma, am I a polar bear?" "Why, yes, son, of course you are a polar bear," she replies, sending him out to play. Several minutes later, he returns. "Momma, are you absolutely sure I am a polar bear?" "Yes, son, absolutely sure. Now go and play." Several minutes later, he returns asking, "Momma, you're sure I'm 100% polar bear?" "Yes, son, ... read all
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Wednesday, 13 August 2008
THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN
DRUNK:
1. Innovative
2. Preliminary
3. Proliferation
4. Cinnamon
THINGS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY
WHEN DRUNK:
1. Specificity
2. Anti-constitutionalistically
3. Passive-aggressive disorder
4. Tran substantiate
THINGS THAT ARE DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO
SAY WHEN DRUNK:
1. No thanks, I'm married.
2. Nope, no more booze for me!
3. Sorry, but you're not really ... read all Bancuri in Engleza (English) Thursday, 22 May 2008
I was out walking with my 4 year old daughter. She picked up something off the ground and started to put it in her mouth. I took the item away from her and I asked her not to do that. "Why?" my daughter asked. "Because it's been on the ground, you don't know where it's been, it'sdirty and probably has germs" I replied. At this point, my daughter looked at me with total admiration and ... read all
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Thursday, 22 March 2007
One day Jake, a nine-year-old, asked to pack his own lunch for school. His mom agreed. But they couldn't agree on what he should pack, so they both made lists. This was the mom's list: One sandwich One apple Pretzels A carton of milk This was Jake's list: Candy Candy Candy Jake agreed to compromise. Sure enough, the next morning, Jake was ready for school and he packed his lunch. His mom came ... read all
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Friday, 12 January 2007
A hamster and a rat were sitting on the side of a swimming pool. They were enjoying the sun. Suddenly the rat turned to the hamster and asked him: Dude, How come people consider me a noisance, and you a pet? How come people pay money to have you, while they are trying to kill me? How come you are considered a cute little animal, while I am considered creepy and disgusting? How come you live in ... read all
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Wednesday, 8 September 2004
A man called home to his wife and said, "Honey I have been asked to go fishing up in Canada with my boss & several of his friends. We'll be gone for a week. This is a good opportunity for me to get that promotion I've been wanting so could you please pack enough clothes for a week and set out my rod and fishing box? We're leaving from the office & I will swing by the house to pick my ... read all
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Monday, 18 October 2004
A crew of highway maintenance workers was sent to repair some road signs that vandals had knocked down in a forested area. The first one they put back up was a symbol warning of a deer crossing. As they moved down the road to repair the next sign, one crew member looked back and spotted a deer running across the highway. She turned to a co-worker and said, "I wonder how long he's been waiting to ... read all
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Monday, 11 June 2007
A linguistics professor was lecturing his class one day. - In English, he said, a double negative forms a positive. In some languages, though, such as Romanian, a double negative is still a negative. However, there is no language wherein a double positive can form a negative. A loud voice from the back of the room piped up: - Yeah, right. ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Wednesday, 8 June 2011
After school one day, a young first-grade boy was sitting at the kitchen table, eating his afternoon snack, when he blurted out, "Mom, the teacher was asking me today if I have any brothers or sisters who will be coming to school." The boy's mother replied, "That's nice of her to take such an interest, dear. What did she say when you told her you are an only child?" She just said, "Thank ... read all
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Monday, 10 March 2008
"I just don't understand it", an Irish footballer complained... "One match I play very well, and then the next match I'm terrible". "Well", said his wife, "why don't you just play every other match?" ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Wednesday, 30 April 2008
To do is to be. Socrate To be is to do. Aristotel Do be do be do. Sinatra ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Monday, 19 December 2005
You are driving along in your car on a wild, stormy night. You pass by a bus stop, and you see three people waiting for the bus: 1. An old lady who looks as if she is about to die. 2. An old friend who once saved your life. 3. The perfect man (or) woman you have been dreaming about. Which one would you choose to offer a ride to, knowing that there could only be one passenger in your car. Think ... read all
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Monday, 16 May 2005
Five Jews changed the way you see the world... - Moses: The Law is everything. - Jesus: Love is everything. - Marx: Money is everything. - Freud: Sex is everything. - Einstein: Everything is relative. ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Monday, 14 February 2005
TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water? DONALD: H I J K L M N O. TEACHER: What are you talking about? DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O. ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Wednesday, 26 November 2008
FINAL EXAM The student reports for his university final examination that consists of yes/no type questions. He takes his seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes and then, in a fit of inspiration, takes out a coin and starts tossing it, marking the answer sheet: Yes, for Heads, and! No, for Tails. Within half an hour he is all done, whereas the rest of the ... read all
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Tuesday, 31 August 2004