Concerned about fitness in my middle 40s, I enrolled in an aerobics class. To my dismay I walked into a room filled with much...

All eyes were on the radiant bride as her father escorted her down the aisle. They reached the altar and the waiting groom; the bride kissed her father and placed something in his hand. The guests in the front pews, and the minister, responded with ripples of laughter. As her father gave her away in marriage, the bride had given him back his credit card. ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Tuesday, 28 November 2006

A truck driver had to deliver five hundred penguins to the state zoo. As he was driving his truck through the desert, the truck broke down. After waiting by the side of the road for about three hours, he waved another truck down and offered the driver $500 to take the penguins to the state zoo for him. The next day, the first truck driver arrived in town and saw the second truck driver crossing ... read all

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Monday, 3 December 2007

What did Adam say on the day before Christmas? Answer: It's Christmas, Eve! ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Monday, 14 November 2011

When Charles de Gaulle decided to retire from public life, the British ambassador and his wife threw a gala dinner party in his honor. At the dinner table, the Ambassador’s wife was talking with Madame deGaulle: - Your husband has been such a prominent public figure, such a presence on the French and international scene for so many years! How quiet retirement will seem in comparison. What ... read all

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Friday, 6 March 2009

Lady: Is this my train? Station Master: No, it belongs to the Railway Company. Lady: Don't try to be funny. I mean to ask if I can take this train to New Delhi. Station Master: No Madam, I'm afraid it's too heavy. ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Tuesday, 27 February 2007

Heaven is where the police are British, the chefs Italian, the mechanics German, the lovers French and it is all organized by the Swiss. Hell is where police are German, the chefs British, the mechanics French, the lovers Swiss and it is all organized by the Italians. ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Tuesday, 29 November 2005

Two guys walk into a bar, separately, and have a seat at the bar. One guy notices the other has a black eye, just like him. “Hey buddy, how’d you get your shiner?” “Well, I was at the train station, and the ticket girl was veeery hot. And instead of two tickets to Pittsburg, I slipped and said ‘two PICKets to TITTsburg’ and she hit me square in the face. How ... read all

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Sunday, 24 August 2008

A soldier stationed in Iraq recently received a "Dear John" letter from his girlfriend back home. It read as follows: Dear Ricky, I can no longer continue our relationship. The distance between us is just too great. I must admit that I have cheated on you twice, since you've been gone, and it's not fair to either of us. I'm sorry. Please return the picture of me that I sent to ... read all

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Friday, 10 June 2005

Each Friday night after work, Bubba would fire up his outdoor grill and cook venison steak. But all of Bubba's neighbors were Catholic, and since it was Lent, they were forbidden from eating red meat on Friday. The delicious aroma from the grilled venison steaks was causing such a problem for the Catholic faithful that they finally talked to their priest. The priest came to visit Bubba and ... read all

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Thursday, 8 March 2007

THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK: 1. Innovative 2. Preliminary 3. Proliferation 4. Cinnamon THINGS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK: 1. Specificity 2. Anti-constitutionalistically 3. Passive-aggressive disorder 4. Tran substantiate THINGS THAT ARE DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN DRUNK: 1. No thanks, I'm married. 2. Nope, no more booze for me! 3. Sorry, but you're not really ... read all

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Thursday, 22 May 2008

When I went to lunch today, I noticed an old lady near a park bench sobbing her eyes out. I stopped and asked her what was wrong. She said: "I have a 22 year old husband at home. He makes love to me every morning and then gets up and makes me pancakes, sausage, fresh fruit and freshly ground coffee." I said: "Well, then why are you crying?" She said: "He makes me homemade soup for lunch and my ... read all

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Thursday, 24 February 2005

Mr. Gable had a leak in the roof over his dining room, so he called a repairman to take a look at it. "When did you first notice the leak?" the repairman inquired. Mr. Gable scowled. "Last night, when it took me two hours to finish my soup!" ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Thursday, 12 October 2006

Little Logan and his family were having Thanksgiving dinner at his grandmother's house. Everyone was seated round the table as the food was being served. When little Logan received his plate, he started eating right away. - Logan, wait until we say our prayer, his mother reminded him. - I don't need to, the little boy replied. - Of course you do! his mother insisted, We say a prayer before eating ... read all

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Tuesday, 21 November 2006

On the first day of school, the teacher asked a student: - What are your parents' names? The student replied: - My father's name is Laughing and my mother's name is Smiling. The teacher said: - Are you kidding? The student said: - No, Kidding is my brother. I am Joking. ... deschide bancul

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Thursday, 19 March 2015

A woman in our diet club was lamenting that she had gained weight. She'd made her family's favorite cake over the weekend, she reported, and they'd eaten half of it at dinner. The next day, she said, she kept staring at the other half, until finally she cut a thin slice for herself. One slice led to another, and soon the whole cake was gone. The woman went on to tell us how upset she was with ... read all

Bancuri in Engleza (English) Monday, 2 October 2006