On a flight to Chicago, a gentleman had made several attempts to get into the men's restroom, but it had always been occupied....
proposed: 15 Sep 2004
On a flight to Chicago, a gentleman had
made several attempts to get into the
men's restroom, but it had always been
occupied. The flight attendant noticed
his predicament. "Sir, she said, "You
may use the ladies room if you promise
not to touch any of the buttons on the
wall." A hamster and a rat were sitting on the side of a swimming pool. They were enjoying the sun. Suddenly the rat turned to the hamster and asked him: Dude, How come people consider me a [...]
He did what he needed
to, and as he sat there he noticed the
Buttons he had promised not to touch.
Each button was identified by letters:
WW, WA,PP, and a red one labeled ATR.
Who would know if he touched them? He
couldn't resist. He pushed WW. Warm
water was sprayed gently upon his
bottom. What a nice feeling, he thought.
Men's restrooms don't have nice things
greater pleasure, he pushed the WA
button. Warm air replaced the warm
water, gently drying his underside.
When this stopped, he pushed
the PP button. A large powder puff
caressed his bottom adding a fragile
scent of spring flowers to this
believable pleasure. The ladies restroom
was more than a restroom; it is tender,
powder puff completed its pleasure, he
couldn't wait to push the ATR button
which he knew would be supreme ecstasy.
Next thing he knew he was in a hospital
as soon as he opened his eyes, a nurse
was staring down at him with a smirk on
"What happened?!" he
"You pushed one too
many buttons," replied the nurse. "The
last button marked ATR was an Automatic
Tampon Remover. Your penis is under your
previous joke Friends of women: A wife was not at home for a whole night. So she tells her husband, the very next morning, that she stayed at her girlfriend's apartment over night. So the husband calls 10 [...]
Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is your
Caller: I heard what
sounded like gunshots coming from the
brown house on the corner.
Dispatcher: Do you have an address?
Caller: No, I have on a blouse and
slacks, why? ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Thursday, 12 April 2007
Phrases For Your "Out-Of-The-Office"
- I am
currently out at a job interview and
will reply to you if I fail to get the
position. Be prepared for my mood.
- I'm not really out of the
office. I'm just ignoring you.
- You are receiving this automatic
notification because I am out of the
office. If I was in, chances are you
wouldn't have received anything at ... read all
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Monday, 18 October 2004
Jack, who is a smart businessman, talks
to his son
Jack: I want you to
marry a girl of my choice
will choose my own bride!"
"But the girl is Bill Gates's
Son: "Well, in that
Next Jack approaches
Jack: "I have a husband
for your daughter."
"But my daughter is too young to marry!"
Jack: "But this young man is a ... read all
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Thursday, 29 September 2005
A young lady visited the government
matchmaker for marriage and requested:
"I'm looking for a spouse. Can you
please help me to find a suitable one?"
The marriage officer said: "Your
"Well, let me
see. Needs to be good looking, polite,
humorous, sporty, knowledgeable, good at
singing and dancing.
accompany me the whole day at home
during my leisure hour, if I ... read all
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Monday, 27 August 2007
The slave driver of the Roman ship
stared down at his slaves and yelled,
"I've got good news and bad news. The
good news is that you'll be getting
double rations tonight."
mumbling of the happy slaves was
interrupted by the bellowing of the
"The bad news is that
the commander's son wants to water ski
tomorrow morning." ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Thursday, 30 November 2006
First-year students at Texas A&M's Vet
School were receiving theirfirst anatomy
class, with a real dead cow. They all
gathered around the surgery table with
the body covered with a white sheet. The
professor started the class by telling
- In vet medicine it is
necessary to have two important
qualities as a doctor: the first is that
you not be disgusted by anything
involving the animal ... read all
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Wednesday, 2 May 2007
A linguistics professor was lecturing
his class one day.
- In English, he
said, a double negative forms a
positive. In some languages, though,
such as Romanian, a double negative is
still a negative. However, there is no
language wherein a double positive can
form a negative.
A loud voice from
the back of the room piped up:
Yeah, right. ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Wednesday, 8 June 2011
"I just don't understand it", an Irish
footballer complained... "One match I
play very well, and then the next match
"Well", said his
wife, "why don't you just play every
other match?" ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Wednesday, 30 April 2008
A man follows a woman out of a movie
theatre. She has a dog on a leash. He
stops her and says, "I'm sorry to
bother you, but I couldn't help but
notice that your dog was really into the
movie. He cried at the right spots, he
moved nervously in his seat at the
boring parts, but most of all, he
laughed like crazy at the funny parts.
Did you find that unusual?"
she replied, "I found ... read all
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Monday, 18 October 2004
HOW TO RECRUIT THE RIGHT PERSON FOR THE
Put about 100 bricks in
some particular order in a closed room
with an open window. Then send 2 or 3
candidates in the room and close the
door. Leave them alone and come back
after 6 hours and then analyses the
If they are counting
the bricks. Put them in the accounts
If they are
recounting them. Put them in ... read all
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Friday, 10 March 2006
Headlines from the year 2029:
Ozone created by electric cars now
killing millions in the seventh largest
country in the world, Mexifornia,
formerly known as California. White
minorities still trying to have English
recognized as Mexifornia's third
Spotted Owl plague
threatens northwestern United States
crops and livestock.
conceived naturally. Scientists stumped.
Couple ... read all
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Thursday, 2 March 2006