My grandmother is a computer geek. She also has trouble remembering quickly sometimes. One day she couldn't think of what she...
proposed: 8 Oct 2007
Two mothers are having a conversation
about their children one day.
do you get your Marvin up so early on
school mornings? asks Joan.
that's easy, replies Marianne. I just
throw the cat on his bed.
- Why does
that wake him up?
- He sleeps with
the dog! ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Thursday, 13 March 2008
HOW TO RECRUIT THE RIGHT PERSON FOR THE
Put about 100 bricks in
some particular order in a closed room
with an open window. Then send 2 or 3
candidates in the room and close the
door. Leave them alone and come back
after 6 hours and then analyses the
If they are counting
the bricks. Put them in the accounts
If they are
recounting them. Put them in ... read all
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Friday, 10 March 2006
This year, taxpayers will receive an
Economic Stimulus Payment. This is a
very exciting new program that I will
explain using the Q and A
"Q. What is an Economic
"A. It is money
that the federal government will send to
"Q. Where will the
government get this money?
"Q. So the
government is giving me back my own
"A. No, ... read all
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Wednesday, 28 January 2009
A real estate agent had just closed his
first deal, only to discover that the
piece of land he had sold was completely
going to come back here pretty mad," he
said to his boss. "Should I give him his
roared the boss. "What kind of salesman
are you? Get out there and sell him a
houseboat!" ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Thursday, 2 November 2006
A big earthquake with the strength of
8.1 on the Richter scale hits Mexico.
Two million Mexicans have died and over
a million are injured. The country is
totally ruined and the government
doesn't know where to start with asking
for help to rebuild.
The rest of the
world is in shock.
sending troopers to help the Mexican
army control the riots.
Arabia is sending oil.
Other ... read all
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Wednesday, 31 May 2006
A soldier stationed in Iraq recently
received a "Dear John" letter from his
girlfriend back home. It read as
no longer continue our relationship. The
distance between us is just too great. I
must admit that I have cheated on you
twice, since you've been gone, and
it's not fair to either of us.
Please return the
picture of me that I sent to ... read all
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Friday, 10 June 2005
European Commission has just announced
an agreement whereby English will be the
official language of the European Union
rather than German, which was the other
As part of the
negotiations, the British Government
conceded that English spelling had some
room for improvement and has accepted a
5- year phase-in plan that would become
known as "Euro-English".
first year, "s" will ... read all
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Wednesday, 5 April 2006
A lawyer and an engineer were fishing in
the Caribbean. The lawyer said:
here because my house burned down, and
everything I owned was destroyed by the
fire. The insurance company paid for
"That's quite a
coincidence," said the engineer. "I'm
here because my house and all my
belongings were destroyed by a flood,
and my insurance company also paid for
The lawyer ... read all
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Wednesday, 4 April 2007
A linguistics professor was lecturing
his class one day.
- In English, he
said, a double negative forms a
positive. In some languages, though,
such as Romanian, a double negative is
still a negative. However, there is no
language wherein a double positive can
form a negative.
A loud voice from
the back of the room piped up:
Yeah, right. ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Wednesday, 8 June 2011
A man walks into a bar and he's really
pissed. The bartender gives him a drink
and asks what the problem is. All he
- All lawyers are assholes.
A man sitting in the corner shouts:
- I take offense to that!
pissed off guy asks him:
- Why? Are
you a lawyer?
The other replies:
- No, I'm an asshole. ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Friday, 30 June 2006
Concerned about fitness in my middle
40s, I enrolled in an aerobics class. To
my dismay I walked into a room filled
with much younger women and decided to
combat my nervousness with humor.
"I'm here to do my postnatal
The instructor gave me
an appraising look. "How old is your
"Twenty-six," I replied. ... deschide bancul
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Wednesday, 13 February 2008
Three kids come down to the kitchen and
sit around the breakfast table. The
mother asks the oldest boy what he would
like to eat.
- I would have some
****** French toast, he says.
mother is outraged at his language, hits
him, and sends him upstairs. She asks
the middle child what he wants.
Well, I guess that leaves more *******
French toast for me, he says.
livid, smacks him, and ... read all
Bancuri in Engleza (English) Thursday, 2 February 2006