My grandmother is a computer geek. She also has trouble remembering quickly sometimes. One day she couldn't think of what she...
proposed: 8 Oct 2007
This year, taxpayers will receive an
Economic Stimulus Payment. This is a
very exciting new program that I will
explain using the Q and A
format:
"Q. What is an Economic
Stimulus Payment?
"A. It is money
that the federal government will send to
taxpayers.
"Q. Where will the
government get this money?
"A. From
taxpayers.
"Q. So the
government is giving me back my own
money?
"A. No,
... read all Bancuri in Engleza (English) Wednesday, 28 January 2009
News from Heaven: Due to the current
financial crisis facing the world at the
moment, the light at the end of the
tunnel will be switched off to save on
electricity costs, until further notice.
Sincerely yours,
God
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Friday, 21 November 2008
A simple friend, when visiting, acts
like a guest.
A real friend opens
your refrigerator and helps himself.
A simple friend has never seen
you cry.
A real friend has shoulders
soggy from your tears.
A simple
friend doesn't know your
parents'
first names.
A real
friend has their phone numbers in his
address book.
A simple friend
brings a bottle of wine to your party.
A real
... read all Bancuri in Engleza (English) Thursday, 5 May 2005
A few years ago, I decided to visit my
brother who was stationed in Germany. I
assumed that most Germans would speak
English. But I found that many people
spoke only their native tongue -
including the ticket inspector on the
train.
He punched my ticket, then
chatted cordially for a bit, making
gestures like a windmill. I simply
nodded from time to time to show him
that I was interested.
When
... read all Bancuri in Engleza (English) Friday, 20 October 2006
A man is waiting in line for a hit
movie. Behind him are two women. The
usher comes along and says that he has
two seats together. Seeing the problem,
the usher says to the man, "Let them go
first. You wouldn't want to separate a
woman from her mother, would you?"
The man says, "No, sir. I did that
once, and I've been sorry ever since."
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Tuesday, 1 April 2008
1. Project Manager is a person who
thinks nine women can deliver a baby in
one month.
2. Developer is a person
who thinks it will take 18 months to
deliver a baby.
3. Onsite
Coordinator is one who thinks a single
woman can deliver nine babies in one
month.
4. Client is the one who
doesn't know why he wants a baby.
5. Marketing Manager is a person who
thinks he can deliver a baby even if
... read all Bancuri in Engleza (English) Monday, 11 April 2005
A man called 911 and said, "Someone come
quick! My wife fell asleep on the couch
with her mouth open and a mouse ran down
her throat!"
The operator
replied, "Calm down, sir. Wave a piece
of cheese over her mouth and maybe the
mouse will come out. An ambulance is on
the way."
When the ambulance
arrived, the EMT found the man waving a
fish over his wife's mouth.
"What on earth are you
... read all Bancuri in Engleza (English) Wednesday, 13 August 2008
I went to the cinema the other day and
in the front row was an old man and with
him was his dog. It was a sad funny kind
of film, you know the type. In the sad
part, the dog cried his eyes out, and in
the funny part, the dog laughed its head
off. This happened all the way through
the film. After the film had ended, I
decided to go and speak to the man:
- That's the most amazing thing I've
seen,
... read all Bancuri in Engleza (English) Monday, 14 November 2011
A guy joins a monastery and takes a vow
of silence: he is allowed to say two
words every seven years.
After the
first seven years, the elders bring him
in and ask for his two words. "Cold
floors," he says. They nod and send him
away.
Seven more years pass. They
bring him back in and ask for his two
words. He clears his throats and says,
"Bad food." They nod and send him away.
Seven more years
... read all Bancuri in Engleza (English) Thursday, 2 February 2006
I am rejecting your rejection
Dear Sir / Madam
Thank you for
your letter of 4 September 2003. After
careful consideration I regret to inform
you that I am unable to accept your
refusal to offer me employment with your
company. This year I have been
particularly fortunate in receiving an
unusually large number of rejection
letters. With such a varied and
promising field of candidates it is
... read all Bancuri in Engleza (English) Tuesday, 8 March 2005
Students at a school were asked to write
about the harmful effects of oil on
fish.
One 11-year-old wrote, "When
my mom opened a tin of sardines last
night, it was full of oil and all the
sardines were dead."
... deschide bancul Bancuri in Engleza (English) Friday, 4 May 2007